Wow Mr.Flipper ,u make this sound like a school survey LMAO LOL
how has JWD helped you so far do you think ? What have you learned from posting ? And you other posters too, what do ya think about our newbies ?
i appreciate the welcome (although here 4 2mo) even though the apostates on here were are kind of weary of me in the beginning i guess?
i was searching 4 some thing basic/innocent though my WT-cd rom but the cd did not suffice to my answer, so i went to my favorite search engine about being reproved there were a couple of good ones until i landed on JWD. @ the time i was unfamiliar w/this site and did not know how to navigate neither was i sure if it was an apostate site or what. i remember clicking on something that said Gabbly chat and that's where i met BB (bumble bee) and she lovingly told to sign up and ask my ? (BTW she mention it was free LOL!) and boy the answers were astounding my jaw just fell on the keyboard. the answers were better than all the years sitting in the km. When i found out that this was an apostate site i said to myself its nothing like i would quite imagine. i.e 4 apostates u are quite friendly and tactful yet, u guys have this zeal to "seek out and destroy" but yet cry on someones virtual shoulder and vent LOL. i personally don't think i've ever vented like this with my fellow JW friends but here i do time to time.
since my days in HS i've like critical thinking and reason and i should thank my non-jw dad 4 that. i remember him pushing me to make good grades in school and seek higher edu. (at the time my dad did not know about JW seeking higher edu policy). since posting here i realized my fate if i had not listen to my dad, i could of been working in some dept.store 4 the rest of my life LOL! during my senior year of hs when i was applying 4 scholarships i asked an elder if he could write me a recommendation Whoa! Big Mistake! that landed me of that elder consulting me. he told me the Same BS that all of u poster mention here the only problem was that this "white" elder has a college edu and his wife (white also) and here u are telling this young girl who was born form parents of a 3rd world country and who struggle to do the best 4 me here, they suffered me me here! they don't have the luxury of finding a $12.00 job etc, etc, my parents wanted to see their daughters have a degree so that no one could tell them that they won't be denied 4 this/that position etc, etc. That day I broke down and cried and i notice how that elder won't even look @ me in the face anymore/call on me to make a comment (the other 2 elders were liberal i got along with them well).
My inner APOSTATE kicked me in the face, by not doing what the elder said i went to school with/without his recommendation and 4 the first time i realize i have to open my mind even more!! (i was not bias to other religions due 2 living in FLA) but i had to ask myself if JW is right 4 me and if i really love jah anymore (at that time i stopped praying to jah) (don't get me wrong i've good things about being a JW/their is the bad side to it also. every good needs its bad, every up needs its down) i'm doing everything wrong by being here but i won't be shunned b/c i am not baptise its that i've grown up in the truth the doctrines brainwashing are burned deep with in me that i know what kind of hurt that i will cause to my mother and my friends at the KH.
Jah praise the internet and JWD (using that loosely) i don't think i would ever learn what's its like being on the other side of the fence and some of the stories i read are shocking and i would never never, ever, ever,eveeeer think of it happening in jah's house/org (child abuse). sometimes i feel like a fool and my dad saw this all along and i just want to deny what i learn. its like going though culture shock or Cognitive Dissonance ( i don't know 2 much about cult terminology but some body on this board is named cognitive dissonance LOL) i'm taking it one little step @ a time i try not to get myself 2 preoccupied w/finding more secretes within the WT but now i can't help it. i just wanna know. i want the truth to set me free and i want to be at my own peace.
i don't know how this became a story but i know someone would enjoy reading it and would give me one of these (((()))) i enjoy posting here i learn so much and i alway,always appreciate ppl who out of their way to wite meaningful answers 2 ppls ?s even mine whether lengthy or not.
XOCO
