OK, you're crazy.
I did the exact same thing you did. I prayed and prayed. I told my hubby,"I don't know what to do, I'm praying and I'm not getting an answer!". He said to keep praying, you'll know. And I did. I had reached the day, after months of praying, when I said please today. My sister called a half hour later. She was leaving too. I had no idea she had been thinking of it. So I said,"Why? I want to see if it is for the same reasons I am." I had decided and have not regretted it or felt guilty. I think that is the key. Guilt comes from JWland. Peace and happiness come from God.
The Gospel of John really helped me to see how Jesus meant things to be. If you still read the Bible, try reading it, NOT in the NWT. When you know it will be peaceful and refreshing.
momzcrazy