BlackWolf
JoinedPosts by BlackWolf
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73
Im sick of my life
by BlackWolf insorry but i really feel like i need to rant right now.
recently my dad was made an elder so my family has been doing a lot more "theocratic" activities lately.
every morning i wake up and put on my itchy dress and stupid makeup and heels and then pretend that i love what i'm doing and that everybody is my friend when in reality i feel horrible and all the other teenage girls at my hall hate me for some reason.
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BlackWolf
Sorry but I really feel like I need to rant right now. Recently my dad was made an elder so my family has been doing a lot more "theocratic" activities lately. Every morning I wake up and put on my itchy dress and stupid makeup and heels and then pretend that I love what I'm doing and that everybody is my friend when in reality I feel horrible and all the other teenage girls at my hall hate me for some reason. I feel so alone I have no friends or anybody to talk to. I feel like a caged lion who can never get out. I homeschool and all I can really do for fun is read and paint. I only really get out of the house to go to meetings and service and the isolation is making me feel really anxious and depressed. I'm going through a pretty bad existential crisis right now and I feel like my life is hopeless and I'm doomed. I feel like ive wasted my childhood because all i ever really wanted was to just be a normal kid. I dream of becoming an artist or a professional horseback rider one day because art and horses are the only things that really make me happy but I feel like that will never happen because I'm so afraid. My worst fear is that my parents are going to shun me when I leave and quit going to meetings like they did to my aunt who was only an unbabtized publisher like me. I dont know how I could survive even more alone than I am now. What should I do? Thanks in advance. -
39
To all JDub lurkers: How can you continue to preach knowing that you are telling lies?
by macys inthis is a damn serious question.
you must know by now that jerusalem was not destroyed in 607 bce and that 607 was initially picked by ct russell by using his "pyramid scheme" measurements.
there is no hiding these facts yet you continue to preach this nonsense.
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BlackWolf
I don't think saying that is really fair when some of us are just trapped because of various circumstances. Like even though I'm mostly mentally "out" I still have to go out in service 2-3 times a week because im 16 and my family is very "spiritually strong" plus my dad is an elder. It is extremely agonizing knowing I'm going around not only lying to others but also to myself :( but its only two more years before I can make my escape!! :D -
34
The lord of the rings
by BlackWolf innow that i've found out ttatt i've been indulging in a lot of so called "spiritistic" entertainment lol.
i recently watched all of the lotr/hobitt movies and man were they awesome!!!
who knew spiritism could be so much fun lol.
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BlackWolf
I will definitely read Lotr!! I saw the first twilight movie and im not impressed but i do like interview with the vampire. I'm still a bit scared to watch the exorcist though lol. I've seen some other horror movies but the whole demonic possession thing still creeps me out 0_0 -
11
I need some friends!!
by BlackWolf ini literally have 0 friends, actually i've never had any close friends.
its really started to get to me.
i homeschool and my parents keep me super isolated and all the other kids at my hall are complete a**holes!!
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BlackWolf
Thank you all for your advice :) -
11
I need some friends!!
by BlackWolf ini literally have 0 friends, actually i've never had any close friends.
its really started to get to me.
i homeschool and my parents keep me super isolated and all the other kids at my hall are complete a**holes!!
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BlackWolf
I literally have 0 friends, actually I've never had any close friends. Its really started to get to me. I homeschool and my parents keep me super isolated and all the other kids at my hall are complete a**holes!! I really need someone to talk to I'm starting to feel like I'm driving myself crazy. Pm me and I'll give you my email if you want. :) -
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The lord of the rings
by BlackWolf innow that i've found out ttatt i've been indulging in a lot of so called "spiritistic" entertainment lol.
i recently watched all of the lotr/hobitt movies and man were they awesome!!!
who knew spiritism could be so much fun lol.
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BlackWolf
2+2=5 I agree about the avatar thing lol. When it came out a bunch of people at my hall went to see it and then started a big uproar about how "demonic" it was lol. I know several other kids at my hall watch lotr/hobbitt movies all the time but my dad is a very strict elder so anything labeled fantasy is a big no no. But I still watch whatever I want on my tablet and then delete the history lol. -
34
The lord of the rings
by BlackWolf innow that i've found out ttatt i've been indulging in a lot of so called "spiritistic" entertainment lol.
i recently watched all of the lotr/hobitt movies and man were they awesome!!!
who knew spiritism could be so much fun lol.
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BlackWolf
Now that I've found out ttatt I've been indulging in a lot of so called "spiritistic" entertainment lol. I recently watched all of the lotr/hobitt movies and man were they awesome!!! Who knew spiritism could be so much fun lol. So far I have not experienced any "demonic" activity in my home XD I think I will watch Harry potter next what do you guys think?? -
11
I'm looking for the verse that says that shepherds will be like wolves fleecing the fold.
by Tempest in a Teacup ini remember reading it in a forum member's post, somewhere last year or so.
the poster said she (i think it's a she) quoted the scripture to one elder and told him that it applied to him.
could you please help me with this verse?.
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BlackWolf
This is where my username comes from! -
27
How to deal with anxiety?
by BlackWolf inlately my mental health has been rapidly declining.
i have anorexia and deppression, and my anxiety has become overwhelming.
i have been to many doctors/therapists in the past, but because i have not been magically cured my parents dont want to get me any more help.
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BlackWolf
Thank you all for your advice :) -
27
How to deal with anxiety?
by BlackWolf inlately my mental health has been rapidly declining.
i have anorexia and deppression, and my anxiety has become overwhelming.
i have been to many doctors/therapists in the past, but because i have not been magically cured my parents dont want to get me any more help.
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BlackWolf
Thank you for the advice. I can't talk to school counselors tho because I am homeschooled.