Wasasister,
Your post reminds me of the article CPiolo shared recently, "Why Bad Beliefs Don't Die."
http://www.csicop.org/si/2000-11/beliefs.html
It's odd to think that we essentially blind ourselves so we can feel safe:
This means that even seemingly small, inconsequential beliefs can be as integral to the brain's experience of survival as are beliefs that are "obviously" connected to survival. Thus, trying to change any belief, no matter how small or silly it may seem, can produce ripple effects through the entire system and ultimately threaten the brain's experience of survival. This is why people are so often driven to defend even seemingly small or tangential beliefs. A creationist cannot tolerate believing in the accuracy of data indicating the reality of evolution not because of the accuracy or inaccuracy of the data itself, but because changing even one belief related to matters of the Bible and the nature of creation will crack an entire system of belief, a fundamental worldview and, ultimately, their brain's experience of survival.
Examining my religious beliefs took more courage than anything else I've ever done in my life. The process was painful and frightening. If I valued honesty, I had to be willing to face harsh facts, even when I would have preferred to turn away in horror and sadness. I had to be willing to follow logical conclusions no matter where they led. There was no guarantee of paradise at the end of my odyssey.
I think it's as Carl Jung says, "Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart."
Ginny