Posts by -Tank

18

Hi all....wow

by -Tank in

jw
friends

hello folks.

i posted one topic in the "relationships" section of this board, but just wanted to say a few words, and introduce myself, i am tank.

i was just curious, this is a jw board, i was expecting to find 80% of the members, or posts, to be of diehard, hardcore jw's, trying to preach there beliefs or there views, but yet, almost every thread i read has to do with someone leaving, already left, or a story of when they left, nonetheless, all the stories lead away from the jw religion.

-Tank

Wow, alot of people born into it.

I think NOW where I might be had I have answered the door, and that image is scary.

What made you as a individual decide it was not the truth? What made you turn away?

46

Hi all, I am new, found a JW

by -Tank in

meet her, and we all go out and have fun it was a great time, and .

went on, we talked more, and more...and more....and more, and .

family issues back home, so she and her friends did not get to see .

-Tank

OnTheWayOut - I believe that theory somewhat, but yet, somewhat not. Yes, I will admit, my heart is very involved, I invested 3 years of time and love into her, hoping it would become us. Am I ready to walk away right now? Yes I am. After 3 times, I have to just be blunt with myself, and tell myself this is over. If I keep any hope inside of me, I will wait for her, because that is the type of person I am, I am loyal and belong to only one person, so if I convince myself there is hope, I am shutting out the rest of the world, and waiting for something that might not ever happen.

Imagine me waiting years and years, because I kept hope, then one day I wake up and realize I am old, alone, and cold, and ive wasted the best years of my life by myself. Now it can go either way, it would be better for my mental health if I kept hope, and to a certain degree there is nothing wrong with hoping, but after 3 times, I guess I am beyond discouraged. I am 99% sure she has moved on, and no longer loves me, and probably likes some other guy.

I will look into those books.

Caedes - she has told me many times that it is not me, I did nothing wrong, she said the only reason she turns me away, is because it hurts her to much to try and make things work with me, because I am not a witness. She always said, I need a witness, and I guess I always hoped she would see, we could have made it work.

I am going on vacation in 3 months time, roughly, and I will be staying in the city she lives in for about 3 or 4 days, if she has not called me by then, in everyones opinon, do you think I would be wise to try and call her up and ask her if she wants to come hang out or something?

Or do I play the old, hard to get, and wait for a call or sign that may never come?

46

Hi all, I am new, found a JW

by -Tank in

meet her, and we all go out and have fun it was a great time, and .

went on, we talked more, and more...and more....and more, and .

family issues back home, so she and her friends did not get to see .

-Tank

I know definitely god is a stronger pull then me, she has already proven that to me, she proved it each time she left. I should have seen that the first time, but I just did not think about it, I thought she would change each time.

I think I am just better off to free myself of this as Shawn10538 said, and not ever speak to her again. As much as it hurts me and makes my heart sink to say that, but it will always be this way and if I do not let her go, I am only setting myself up for more pain. She will only be happy with someone who is just as obsessed with the religion as she is.

Thank you ladies and gentleman!! Before I came to this board I did not know what to do and was lost, looking for answers, but now I know exactly what I need to do, and what the best choice is. Thanks again.

18

Hi all....wow

by -Tank in

jw
friends

hello folks.

i posted one topic in the "relationships" section of this board, but just wanted to say a few words, and introduce myself, i am tank.

i was just curious, this is a jw board, i was expecting to find 80% of the members, or posts, to be of diehard, hardcore jw's, trying to preach there beliefs or there views, but yet, almost every thread i read has to do with someone leaving, already left, or a story of when they left, nonetheless, all the stories lead away from the jw religion.

-Tank

Hello folks. I posted one topic in the "Relationships" section of this board, but just wanted to say a few words, and introduce myself, I am Tank.

I was just curious, this is a JW board, I was expecting to find 80% of the members, or posts, to be of diehard, hardcore JW's, trying to preach there beliefs or there views, but yet, almost every thread I read has to do with someone leaving, already left, or a story of when they left, nonetheless, all the stories lead away from the JW religion. This honestly shocked me a little bit, but the more I read the more I see why.

Anyone who has read my post in Relationships knows my story, and I actually came VERY close to being sucked in to this religion. I was trying to win over the woman I fell in love with, long story short, who was a JW, and the only thing standing between me and her being together, was her religion and the fact she needed to be with a JW. I starting reading because I became curious, and she offered to send a "information request" to the Watchtower society, to send a pioneer to my door to give me more information, me, only thinking of "wow, she and her family will accept me now!!!! how hard can it be, go to one meeting a week like church, read the bible a bit everyday, and I am done" I agreed for her to send the letter. It put knots in my stomach, everyday I was thinking, what do I say when they arrive, am I doing the right thing, have I researched this enough, do I know what I am getting myself into? A month later, a buzz at my intercom in my Condo, it was them, looking for me. I stalled for about 5 seconds of silence, and then I said, no I am sorry, no one lives here by that name. They were persistent and said, are you sure, we are looking for so and so, I said no I am sorry, I think they moved away not to long ago, and that was the last I heard from them.

After reading the posts on this board, I did not realize at all, how much of a tight grip this cult has on it's members, it is absolutely incredible that just words, certain words, can empower people to enslave others in there mind games. There are thousands that are clueless, and willing to do anything for Jehovah's acceptance, I did not realize the power this cult has.

After I sent the JW's away with a false story, I contemplated going to the Kingdom Hall in my town and confessing to hiding behind the door, and apologizing to whoever took the time to come and see me and try to help me (I thought at the time it would have been help) However, I could not work up the courage. I am so glad now that I took those 5 seconds after the buzz, to think about the road that could have taken me down, judging by what I read, I saved myself a whole lot of grief.

Did anyone else know, before they got into it, or were thinking about getting into it, that they had this incredible hold on there members?

46

Hi all, I am new, found a JW

by -Tank in

meet her, and we all go out and have fun it was a great time, and .

went on, we talked more, and more...and more....and more, and .

family issues back home, so she and her friends did not get to see .

-Tank

Somehow I think she won't be alone, it will only be me who suffers that fate, not looking for guilt, I know however I turn out in this is my own decision. She has such a close relationship with her family that I think they would not ever let her leave the religion. I think whenever she had second thoughts, her family was VERY QUICK in making her bounce back, they make sure she is not weak for a minute. I think I was the only contact with someone "outside"

The more I think about what to type, the more I know that I have probably lost her forever this time, and that she will not come back again. I still have a hard time coping with this, and I hope to heck that I am wrong.

I was a secret before, nobody knew about me except her best friend who chaperoned for us a couple of times. This last time she left, she told her mom about me, I think hoping for her mom to say "it's ok if he is not a witness, as long as the love is true" honestly I think that is why she told her mom, hoping for that answer, but got the "if he does not love the truth, he is not right" Now that her mom knows, her whole family will know, and they keep a look out for any signs of her becoming weak, or coming back. That is one reason why I am certain I am doomed.

All I have now is my work, which is swallowing me whole so to speak.

Thank you again, everyone, for all your advice and help, I appreciate the time you take to help someone you do not even know.

46

Hi all, I am new, found a JW

by -Tank in

meet her, and we all go out and have fun it was a great time, and .

went on, we talked more, and more...and more....and more, and .

family issues back home, so she and her friends did not get to see .

-Tank

eclipse - I am really like that, I am just a honest hard working man, hard to believe in this day and age, i know. There was a witness friend of hers that liked her, did she like, I do not have a clue, probably.

Sometimes i catch myself saying, why did I even bother in the first place, but I honestly do not regret any of it, although it is now paining me. I do still love her with all of my heart, will I ever stop loving her? No. Will I ever get over her? Of that I am still very uncertain.

golfhl - not to sound mean, but it is somewhat comforting to know someone else is going through a similar situation. If you ever need to talk, feel free, I will try my best to help, and listen!

the oracle - You sound like the opposite of me, you are a very positive type haha. Honestly, that was an inspiring post, but if I was to believe it and tell myself I can win, I think I would be lieing to myself. She was raised a JW, right from birth...that makes it all the more stronger then someone who "came into it" in there aging process. Yes , alot of JW believe alot of bullsh*t, but the religion overs them salvation and a purpose, I can only offer human love and effection, which as she has told me, is not good enough, although to me, it is absolute. I would give my all to make her happy, to have a loving home and family with her, but I cannot compete with a religion! Nonetheless, thank you for the offer of help, I may use it someday!

If I was to even mention anything about her researching her own faith, she would not talk to me, she would hang up the phone, or walk away, and make sure to sever all contact with me because I am trying to pry her away from her religion she loves and believes. Whenever she asked me if I read any, and I said a little, because I was curious at first, she would always ask, was it from the Watchtower website? She would say "that is the only one you can believe, do not go to any other websites because it is all lies and they shun the truth and talk bad about it"

She is so far in, I do not think it is possible to pull her out. I have 2 choices, I let her go, or a I become one.

B_Deserter is right. If I try and make her leave, I will always be the reason she left, and she will question herself for the rest of her life, if that is what she wanted to do, or did she do it for me? Eventually, the need/want for religion again will resurface. She has to do it on her own, and there is a %99.8 chance, that that will never happen. That beats the hell out of me inside.

It's sad when you know the one you love whole heartedly, with no doubt, the one you want to spend your life with, the one who makes you smile, laugh, happy, you can't be with, not only now, but probably not ever. Sometimes I ask myself, what the hell am I here for? What am I doing? I still do not have the answers.

46

Hi all, I am new, found a JW

by -Tank in

meet her, and we all go out and have fun it was a great time, and .

went on, we talked more, and more...and more....and more, and .

family issues back home, so she and her friends did not get to see .

-Tank

I unchecked it and it still did it, dag nabbit.

46

Hi all, I am new, found a JW

by -Tank in

meet her, and we all go out and have fun it was a great time, and .

went on, we talked more, and more...and more....and more, and .

family issues back home, so she and her friends did not get to see .

-Tank

She is a heck of a woman, hence why it is so hard for me to get up and on with my life in that area. I never felt anything for anyone else, any of my other g/f's, like I did for her, it just didn't even come close. I realize I have to accept the harsh reality that as much as I want a life with her, it simply will not work, and I will never get to be with here, the truth hurts I guess. I want to thank you all again for your replies and advice, I feel very welcome on this board and I am glad I signed up. I know she will never leave "the truth" and if she did she would resent it so badly she would change into a different person I would not know, not the person I fell in love with. For now I am just going to continue working and doing what I do best, fun is a stranger to me, but you make good money that way haha. Money isn't everything I suppose I should have some fun once or twice a year.

46

Hi all, I am new, found a JW

by -Tank in

meet her, and we all go out and have fun it was a great time, and .

went on, we talked more, and more...and more....and more, and .

family issues back home, so she and her friends did not get to see .

-Tank

Thank you all for your replies, I appreciate all of them!

I guess you could say I am the type being that, she is the one I want, and nobody else, however, I am not the type to stay that way forever.

I think all I can do is keep the good memories in my heart and in my mind, and move forward with life. For the past 3 months this has effected me working, sleeping, going out with friends, anything, and I cannot let it anymore. I need to wake up and smell the coffee.

She attends meetings regularly every week, goes out in service, her best friend of countless years started to study last year, but gave it up this year, for a man she fell in love with, who was not a JW. When she told her, I am not studying anymore, she lost it, and has not talked to that woman since....best friends for years, been through thick and thin, but she let that go because she stopped studying, I guess that should be a sign. When things were good, things were great, and she was the one who gave it up, not me, so I just have to tell myself that. She was born and raised a JW, and she will more then likely be one until her last days.

I thought many times about converting over for her, but I knew when it came time to prove my loyalty to the Jehovah, I would not have the same love or effection for the religion as she does.

It is a bit funny though. When she came back to me, those were the times she couldnt get to her meetings for a couple of weeks because of no transportation, work, what have you. So whenever she stopped going, we would have a great time together and she seemed somewhat happier. Once she started to attend, they told her what she was doing is wrong.

She told her mom about me, and said, we have all the qualities of a good, lasting relationship, we can talk for hours, we have fun together, etc etc. Her mom said "is he a witness?" she replied "no, he isnt" her mom said "then he is not the one for you, you have to find someone who loves the truth" well, I guess I am a complete jerk then. I go out of my way to help people all the time, not tooting my own horn, but I think I am a pretty nice and decent guy. I do not smoke, do drugs, drink, nothing, I am a honest hard working man, but, I am not good enough for her, becuase of something I am not. Everything I did for her, to try and show her what I would do for her...oh wells I guess. This has given me enough insight into what love really is, that I am just about as bitter of a man you will ever meet now.

Well that's fine. If she finds someone she loves, who is a JW, then I guess, all the power to her. But if she marries someone she "kind of loves" BUT is a JW, instead of me who she says she loves with no doubt, and wants to marry me, but can't, because I am not a JW, then I guess she is lieing to herself, and to her heart.

46

Hi all, I am new, found a JW

by -Tank in

meet her, and we all go out and have fun it was a great time, and .

went on, we talked more, and more...and more....and more, and .

family issues back home, so she and her friends did not get to see .

-Tank

sorry for the no paragraphs, I will make sure I do not do that again.