I am not going to give any suggestion on what to do about the MS or whether you should move to another congregation (you have more than enough opinions on that ---good or bad) but I would like to offer you from my own similar experience some suggestions and support on taking care of yourself.
I was DF'd for refusing to attend a JC investigating whether I had committed adultery (I had, but they had no proof) AFTER my ex (an elder) had first committed adultery, but of course he was only given a slap on the wrist. I had asked for help from the "brothers" through many years of domestic violence at his hands---but they were unhelpful at best, and downright abusive at worst during that entire time. Since he remained in the congregation, and I did not, the other members rallied to his side and listened to him destroy my reputation by calling me an "apostate" (funny...I wasn't then, but I sure am now, lol) and a "woman's libber" because I went against the elder's encouragement not to divorce him, even though he gave me scriptural grounds. During my separation, divorce, and for some time afterward my ex continued to abuse me in many ways. He stalked me, rarely paid court-ordered child support and alimony, tried to have me declared an unfit parent in the courts, and wrote very nasty messages about me (no internet at that time) on the back of the very few checks he did send, thinking I would be embarrassed to cash them at the bank. The elders would not support me in any way, because I was DF'd. So I really get what your situation is.
Here is what I hope you will do. Get some therapy to help you heal and recover from the abuse you are being subjected to ---from not just your husband, but from the abusive attitude of the organization, and from the men of power there who will abuse and neglect you instead of supporting you. NEVER expect better from them---they are not trained or encouraged to care. Find a divorced women's or abused woman's support group through the Victim's Services agency in your hometown. I am taking advantage of therapy with a counselor there. Move on with your life...become the strongest and most capable woman you can be...you may have to dig deep within, but it is there. And I did get reinstated (story for another time...but it was an act of taking the power back from the elders who were threatening my son (MS at the time, but faded along side me today) because he refused to shun me. I looked up all my former friends, and they gave me a cold shoulder and refused to accept me back. Don't expect better. Hugs to you...live the best and happiest life you can. It's possible. Hold your head up---you made a mistake and that does not make you a "whore." Your ex and that MS calling you that says far more about THEM than it does about you. After all, they arrogantly claim to hold themselves to the highest standard.
