I was raised, married and had my first child in a congregation of JW's who were very much like family. Sure, there were individuals who had problem personalities, but they were in the minority, and that was at least 40 years ago. Years later I was DF'd, and stayed out of the organization for about 15 years, and the congregation that I was reinstated into was like night and day from the one that I had grown up in. But I observed that the organization as a whole had changed...so much so that after a tour around the circuit, the CO gave a talk at the assembly blasting the "friends" for their bad attitudes and behavior. Any fond memories of being in the organization were from many years ago. I never experienced the same "love and unity" in any congregation I attended within the last 10 years---in fact, quite the opposite.
Cangie
JoinedPosts by Cangie
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37
My experience with the people in my hall
by Freeandclear ini've been awake now for about 6 months i'd guess and a member here for a couple of weeks.
it's been eye opening to read other peoples experiences on here and i appreciate all of you.
i've noticed in many, seemingly most, of your comments that you were not treated well at your hall or you have had very negative experiences in the "org" so i thought i'd like to share mine.. in all my time as a jw i have to say for the most part i always loved the people.
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If all the world were JWs....
by Tornintwo inin my former indoctrinated state, i used to yearn for a time when all the world would be jws.
but hang on minute, let's just think about what the world would be like if everyone was a jw,.
first of all, no higher education, so no medical advances, no scientific research, no modern day medicine, infectious disease rife, no doctors, no engineers, so no modern day comforts.
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Cangie
It would probably be like living under Sharia law... -
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Can You Feel The Love?
by OneFingerSalute injust heard of an experience that proves what i have thought all along about the unique type of love in the jdubya religion.. an elderly, handicapped jdubya acquaintance was traveling alone through the mid-west recently and found themselves stranded in denver, colorado due to dangerous road conditions.
not knowing anyone, and having no way to get from place to place on their own they made a number of phone calls.
finally they were able to get in contact with an oh so christian "sister" who had with her husband spent many decades in bethel.
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Cangie
Some years ago I moved from NY to Ft. Lauderdale, Fla. I had been somewhat irregular at the meetings up until that time, and decided that my new environment deserved that I attempt a new commitment to become active again. When I got settled, I called the number provided for the JW's, and told the sister who answered that I was new to the area and wanted to know where the KH was located. She put me on the phone with her elder husband, who was about as dry, brittle and welcoming as dead leaves. He seemed indifferent as to whether I attended or not, and never offered any personal help like offering me a ride to the first meeting to help me find my way and feel comfortable. I guess it would be no surprise that it put me off going back, and by the end of the 6 months that I lived there, I had never once gone to the KH. Looking back, that was probably the beginning of my fade... -
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What Are Your "Senior Moments" Like?
by compound complex indear friends:.
i imagine by now we old timers have adjusted to the fact that we are getting older and, one day, will make our exit.
are your "senior moments" ever a cause for worry to you?
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Cangie
I turned 65 last Saturday...hated it 'cause now I'm officially "old people." During my career I occasionally worked as a trainer (adult education) and was very verbal. Usually the classes were scheduled for an 8-hour day, and I was responsible for delivering material at least half of that time. Now, I can be in the middle of a conversation with my daughter and a lot of it consists of "uh...what's the word for...?" I also call my grandchildren the wrong names---usually the name of my kids or my brothers and sisters. But when I think of how much I hate getting older, I just remind myself that it beats the alternative! -
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First Born Syndrom? -
by elderINewton inis it just me or does it seem like a large portion of first born children leave the "truth" or find ttatt?
its weird for me, but of all the other people out i know (only about 20 ish) they are all first borns, and usually the wife is as well.
just looking at this from a different lens and curious if others see the same.
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Cangie
I am the first born of 4. Numbers 2 and 4 are out physically (but not necessarily mentally) and they left before I did but not because of being exposed to TTATT. They both got involved with drugs. Number 3 has been in-and-out so many times I have lost count, however I am not sure of her "status" at the moment. My son, firstborn and formerly a MS, has left and my daughter still attends meetings but has never been baptized. I am crossing my fingers, toes and eyeballs that she "gets it" one day. -
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I need some advise
by Lost his mind infollowing is a letter i am going to send to the entire family both jw and non.
i would like to get your advice on whether i should do it.
my husband has told me before to voice my complaints but i have yet.
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Cangie
Since it is HIS family who is interfering in your relationship, and they won't discuss it in your presence, shouldn't your husband be the one to set the terms with them? It seems as though they don't respect you, but it is his job to tell them that he won't tolerate that and to defend you.
If he uses their principles and invokes his rights as "head" of the household, they won't have a leg to stand on. When he speaks with them, it might be better if he uses the terms "our marriage" and "we would appreciate it" along with other words showing that the two of you are a team. It let's them know that you two are working together and won't let them try to divide your relationship. Good luck---family can be a pain, and JW family can be 100% times worse...
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When you Go to Bethel, You Sign Over Your Dead Body.
by new boy inthis is in response to the thread about the supposed suicide of a bethelite in 1995.. when i went to bethel i and everyone else, signed a form stating that "if we died while at bethel the wathtower bible and tract society,had the right to keep our body.".
yes, we thought it strange at the time but as a twenty years old you didn't think much about stuff like that.
besides we were never going to die anyway.
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Cangie
Thank you once again, Orphan Crow. I always enjoy what you "dig up" (pun intended) about the Watchtower, especially when it includes history that they don't talk about, or would prefer we didn't know. -
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How do I handle this situation?
by BarelyThere inhey everyone.
i'm sorry that this isn't a very thought provoking post but i could really use some advice on how to handle this.
there isn't anyone else in my life i can ask right now because, being dfed, all of my friends are "worldly" and don't know how witnesses function.
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Cangie
I'd like to thank Heartsafire, cognac and Listener for their kind words. BarelyThere...I live by the statement "what doesn't kill you will make you stronger." I have a survival streak in me that "won't let the suckas win." They may have their opinions of me, but I refuse to let them define me with their twisted condemnation. So I hope you will not let guilt cause you to accept their judgmental words as the truth about you, just because they say so.
cognac...if there is a little room left will you please scoot over and make a space for me to stand beside you against the bullies? :-)
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How do I handle this situation?
by BarelyThere inhey everyone.
i'm sorry that this isn't a very thought provoking post but i could really use some advice on how to handle this.
there isn't anyone else in my life i can ask right now because, being dfed, all of my friends are "worldly" and don't know how witnesses function.
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Cangie
I am not going to give any suggestion on what to do about the MS or whether you should move to another congregation (you have more than enough opinions on that ---good or bad) but I would like to offer you from my own similar experience some suggestions and support on taking care of yourself.
I was DF'd for refusing to attend a JC investigating whether I had committed adultery (I had, but they had no proof) AFTER my ex (an elder) had first committed adultery, but of course he was only given a slap on the wrist. I had asked for help from the "brothers" through many years of domestic violence at his hands---but they were unhelpful at best, and downright abusive at worst during that entire time. Since he remained in the congregation, and I did not, the other members rallied to his side and listened to him destroy my reputation by calling me an "apostate" (funny...I wasn't then, but I sure am now, lol) and a "woman's libber" because I went against the elder's encouragement not to divorce him, even though he gave me scriptural grounds. During my separation, divorce, and for some time afterward my ex continued to abuse me in many ways. He stalked me, rarely paid court-ordered child support and alimony, tried to have me declared an unfit parent in the courts, and wrote very nasty messages about me (no internet at that time) on the back of the very few checks he did send, thinking I would be embarrassed to cash them at the bank. The elders would not support me in any way, because I was DF'd. So I really get what your situation is.
Here is what I hope you will do. Get some therapy to help you heal and recover from the abuse you are being subjected to ---from not just your husband, but from the abusive attitude of the organization, and from the men of power there who will abuse and neglect you instead of supporting you. NEVER expect better from them---they are not trained or encouraged to care. Find a divorced women's or abused woman's support group through the Victim's Services agency in your hometown. I am taking advantage of therapy with a counselor there. Move on with your life...become the strongest and most capable woman you can be...you may have to dig deep within, but it is there. And I did get reinstated (story for another time...but it was an act of taking the power back from the elders who were threatening my son (MS at the time, but faded along side me today) because he refused to shun me. I looked up all my former friends, and they gave me a cold shoulder and refused to accept me back. Don't expect better. Hugs to you...live the best and happiest life you can. It's possible. Hold your head up---you made a mistake and that does not make you a "whore." Your ex and that MS calling you that says far more about THEM than it does about you. After all, they arrogantly claim to hold themselves to the highest standard.
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Had the C.O visit this week...went out on service and Wow
by MrsR-Awaken inthis is my first post here (not being comments) but i still have to tell my story but for that i need to get my mind together in other to give as much detail as possible to be able to share it.
will do in a future post.. anyway i had to share this.. so i went out on service this morning (i never do i always end up excusing myself because i hate field service) reason i did was to see what the new c.o had to say and he sure did say something.
he was saying what we had to present and he went over the watchtower magazine.
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Cangie
That sounds like a smarmy, manipulative "used-car-salesman" tactic. I had it worked on me, and I bought a whole lot more car than I drove away with.