Since most of my memories of being a JW, are terrible(and I do mean most of them). I figured I share one funny one. One time back when they first started the new number 2 talk arrangement (switched to only doing bible readings, and not having to actually write a talk), I got a talk slip but lost it.A Few weeks later I didn't realize I had a talk only until I got to the Thursday night meeting, and the school overseer came up to ask me, "Are you all set for your talk tonight"? Like a deer in headlights I said "Yes" (lying to him since I didn't realize I had one, only up until that moment). At that time I was only giving number 2 talks, so I knew it was going to be a reading. I went in back to the bulletin board (the one that every KH has) and grabbed the reading schedule. I found out which bible reading was for that night, and wrote it on the back of a time slip (I used to always use those stupid service slips as scratch paper for just about everything). I went to my seat and practiced the reading several times and looked to see if there were any difficult words or names. I spent the entire first half of the meeting practicing up until they dismissed for the two schools. When the brother called me up, I was EXTREMELY nervous (since it was short notice and all). I walked up to the stage, read the reading straight through (without even looking up at the audience), got done and walked off the stage. As I was walking down the aisle back to my seat (I always sat in the back of the KH), I got a lot of blank stares from the people in the audience. When I sat down, my parents looked at me like there was a ghost sitting behind me. The guy who was the school overseer said to the effect (not exact words but somewhat similar), "Brother Superman, that was a great job on the reading, hopefully the brother who gets it next week does just as good a job as you did". Turns, out not only did I do the wrong week (I read the assigned reading for the next week), the reading that I should have read wasn't even a bible reading at all, it was actually supposed to be a WT article (I must not of heard him say that when he called me up of on stage since I was so nervous). Needless to say I didn't give any talks for a few months after that. Any other funny stories from any of you guys?????
superman
JoinedPosts by superman
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Funny JW memories/stories
by superman insince most of my memories of being a jw, are terrible(and i do mean most of them).
i figured i share one funny one.
one time back when they first started the new number 2 talk arrangement (switched to only doing bible readings, and not having to actually write a talk), i got a talk slip but lost it.a few weeks later i didn't realize i had a talk only until i got to the thursday night meeting, and the school overseer came up to ask me, "are you all set for your talk tonight"?
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42
Great news!!!!!!!
by superman inim so happy ive got to tell someone!
at the beginning of the year i made the final mental decision to leave the truth and fade.
i havent been out in service or to a meeting in a long time.
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superman
Thanks guys, I'm feeling like I can walk on air Right now! Who knows maybe this is a blessing from God, LOL.
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Great news!!!!!!!
by superman inim so happy ive got to tell someone!
at the beginning of the year i made the final mental decision to leave the truth and fade.
i havent been out in service or to a meeting in a long time.
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superman
At least for me! I’m so happy I’ve got to tell someone! At the beginning of the year I made the final mental decision to leave the “truth” and fade. I haven’t been out in service or to a meeting in a long time. However, I still went to the district convention this summer (made plans to roommate in hotel with a buddy before I faded). While at the district convention I spent most of my time roaming the halls (couldn’t stand to listen to the BS from the platform). But I met this JW, girl while I was there. She seemed pretty cool, and wasn’t a goody-goody, Holy Roller. We talked, exchanged numbers, and have hung out several times since. But it’s been difficult for me because I’ve known in the back of my mind that things couldn’t get serious, because I could never date or marry anyone who’s an active, brainwashed, JW (it would just complicate things). Well anyway my friend started to notice me getting a bit distant lately, and she asked me if everything was OK. I told her it’s been difficult because I really liked her, but I don’t think that the relationship could go much farther due to the difference in our beliefs. Well this brought up more questions from her about “our beliefs” and what the difference is. So I went out on a huge limb, and started out the conversation by saying “I’m going to tell you something that I haven’t told anyone, and if you no longer wish to hang with me, that’s fine, but for the sake of my family I’m hoping that you will keep this between us”. And I proceeded tell her how I don’t believe that the Jehovah’s Witnesses have the “truth”, or that it’s the one true faith that it claims it is, and about my fade, and my plans to move out of state to start a new life. Well, after telling her this my stomach just dropped as her response was complete silence. She looked at me and said “are you serious”? I said “yes, and if you no longer want to be friends with me that’s fine, but please keep this between us”. Little did I know she felt the exact same way! Se mentioned that only reason that she was even at the convention was because (at that time) she was still living with her parents and they made her go. However, she really liked me, but couldn’t figure out how to me her thoughts about the “truth” before things got too serious between us. She’s read Crisis of the conscious and has even seen this website, she considers herself to be apostate (or as I call it a “free thinker”). You’ll can’t possible know how happy I am, because not only is she smart, BEAUTIFUL, intelligent, and fun to be with. She also was raised in this cult and knows how to relate with what I’m dealing with! Now that she lives on her own, she is planning on fading too!!!!!
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Need some advice
by superman inmy story is that i am faded (not df'd, da'd, or even reproofed, just slowly stopped going and gave up privileges and responsibilities).
a good jw friend of mine is getting married in the kh and asked me to be his best man.
i'm curious as to what the rule is about getting married in the kh and who you can have standing up in your wedding?
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superman
Thanks guys for the advice, What Up Keyser , How've you been? I'm still waiting on that beer? LOL, Man after his wedding is done I can start my fade to the fullest (maybe even grow out that beard I've been wanting)!
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Need some advice
by superman inmy story is that i am faded (not df'd, da'd, or even reproofed, just slowly stopped going and gave up privileges and responsibilities).
a good jw friend of mine is getting married in the kh and asked me to be his best man.
i'm curious as to what the rule is about getting married in the kh and who you can have standing up in your wedding?
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superman
My story is that I am faded (not Df'd, DA'd, or even reproofed, just slowly stopped going and gave up privileges and responsibilities). A good JW friend of mine is getting married in the KH and asked me to be his best man. I'm curious as to what the rule is about getting married in the KH and who you can have standing up in your wedding? Other then the fact that I am faded, there is nothing that I could get into trouble for (that they know about), so I am not considered to be in poor standing (other then inactive for not turning in field service for over a year). I've thought about going back to a few meetings to 'save face' so that I can be allowed to stand up in his wedding. But on the other hand if they are simply going to tell him to "get rid of the inactive guy, or you can't use the KM" then I won't even bother going back, just because I don't want to have to deal with the fake love bombing and hounding from the elders since I've been gone so long. However, on the other hand, if I can still stand up in his wedding, and not have to go, then I don't want to waste any time going to meetings if I don't have to. Need some advice from some of you who were maybe elders (and some who still currently are), or some of you who have dealt with this subject matter personally. Thanks!!!
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As A Former JW, Do You Feel You Should "Apologize" For Past Actions?
by minimus indo you believe that you should now apologize for whatever actions you made when you were a witness?.
do you think that if you were an elder that you should contact those that might've felt oppressed by you and your "theocratic" actions?.
if you were a zealous preacher, do you now feel you should go back to your former bible students and tell them the error of your ways?.
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superman
I’ve gone back made contact and apologized to several old friends that I’ve shunned when they got DF’d. One in particular was really treated rotten by the elders, but you all know the counsel they give “If you are questioning the elders decision, you are really questioning a decision from god”. So I took the side of the elders and assumed ‘If she got DF’d she really must have deserved it’. Since then I’ve found out that most of the people I shunned (All in their mid to late 20’s) didn’t really deserve it, but it was more of an issue of the elders (or a certain one) having a personal agenda against them and using this as a means of getting back at them for whatever reason. Since I’ve become apostate I’ve actually gained more friends in the org (mainly the ones who are considered ‘weak’), because when I hang out with them (outside of the hall, I don’t hardly go to the meetings anymore) they feel that they can confide in me (without me running to the elders) and that they don’t have to walk on egg shells (because I‘m not easily offended).
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Those crazy J-dubs are getting aggressive
by superman inwhile at work today one of my co-workers came into my office and laid some watchtowers on my desk.
she knows that im a j-dub, faded, apostate, but ive explained to her about the whole deal of dfing and shunning and how for the purpose of my family ive just faded.
but she was telling me that one of her clients is a j-dub and offered her some magazines and she kindly refused but the lady wouldnt let up (basically bullying her) and insisted on how much she would enjoy them, so my co-worker (to be nice) took them.
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superman
While at work today one of my co-workers came into my office and laid some watchtowers on my desk. She knows that I’m a J-Dub, faded, apostate, but I’ve explained to her about the whole deal of DFing and shunning and how for the purpose of my family I’ve just faded. But she was telling me that one of her clients is a J-Dub and offered her some magazines and she kindly refused but the lady wouldn’t let up (basically bullying her) and insisted on how much she would enjoy them, so my co-worker (to be nice) took them. My co-worker and I are pretty cool with one another so I said to her, “Why the f*#% did you take those mags from her, now she is going to think you are interested and will consider you as her ‘call’ and she won’t stop hassling you”. My co-worker was somewhat surprised because she thought she was just being nice to her client and she told me that now she doesn’t know what to do because she doesn’t want to get caught up, but she also doesn’t want to lose a client. She told me about how her and her boyfriend always have J-Dubs coming to their house and how they’ve tried to be nice by kindly saying “I’m not interested” but the each time they just start asking her more questions, and she even said one time this old guy stuck his foot in her doorway when she tried to close it during their conversation. She said she doesn’t want to have to hide from them because Saturday is usually the day her and her boyfriend do yard work, play with their son, and the dogs, but they’ll even come around to the back of her house if they see them out there. Since I know most of the J-dubs around her area I told her this, “Don’t tell any of them I personally told you this, but next time one comes to your door simply say you used to be one of them and you are now an APOSTATE”! I even wrote it down for her and said leave this near your door. I told her that if she said that to them they would end the conversation abruptly and that they wouldn’t bother her anymore. We’ll see how it goes!
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Times when you were judgmental as a J-Dub?
by superman inwe all like to point the finger at other j-dubs who are extremely judgmental (and most of them are) but before many of you saw the real light, we were all just as bad as some of the others.
ive got one example about myself.
when i was a more hard core j-dub a friend of mine who wasnt baptized (however raised in it) but studying decided to grow a beard.
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superman
We all like to point the finger at other J-Dubs who are extremely judgmental (And most of them are) but before many of you saw “the real light”, we were all just as bad as some of the others. I’ve got one example about myself. When I was a more hard core J-dub a friend of mine who wasn’t baptized (however raised in it) but studying decided to grow a beard. Not really that big of a deal but I tried to reason with him (remember I was wearing my J-dub blinders at the time) about how bad it was for him to do that, the dangers of him stumbling others, yada-yada-yada! Now looking back I probably contributed to him not ever getting baptized because of how stupid I must have sounded trying to reason with him about the dangers having beard (I know it sounds stupid but remember I was wearing my J-dub blinders). BTW, him and I are still good friends (since I’ve become apostate) and we laugh about that story all of the time.
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WT to start download of Kool-Aid edition of WT soon.
by hamsterbait ini reckon that the wt is going to go down the line of giving publishers their own password so they can download specific litterature from the web.
the passwords will be doled out by the elders, to whom the bethell in each country will send them.
(each one will identify a specific witless) .
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superman
If they did give you a special code, I would try to get the PO's and use his to not only look at apostate literature but also a little XXX to, that way he would have the pleasure of sitting in the back room during a committee case and having to answer stupid questions like "So brother when you viewed this porn did you get off", or "Did you make conscientious effort to jerk-off to what you were viewing, or was it unplanned and accidental". What a bunch of bone-heads, that'll be the day.
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Real Good News
by superman inthis must be a sign of what will lie ahead for the j-dubs (at least in the united states).
this last weekend at the special day circuit assembly i went to, not a single person got baptized (zero, zip, nada) and the funny part was that they still had to give the baptism talk because it was already in the program schedule.
hopefully people are starting to catch on and we'll have a few more "zero baptism" assemblies.
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superman
You guys bet it was hilarious, the funny thing was that all of the hardcores J-dubs at lunch didn't really want to talk too much about it. I've been doing some undercover 'apostatizing' to a buddy of mine and I've told him about how the witnesses have the lowest retention rate of any religion, and now it looks like nobody from the outside wants in either. I was thinking about how great that must have been for any one who brought their study to the special day and what kind of impression that made on them. I'll bet they're thinking "F*ck this","If I do get baptized I'm going to be the only one in front of all of these people".