cognac

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Posts by cognac

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  18

  We are switching halls...

  by cognac in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i think that means that we are going to go to even less meetings and just generally have less to do with the jws because the hall we are at now is where all his friends are... unless somebody tries to take him under his wing and screws everything up.... btw, this was his idea.

  thoughts?.

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  cognac

  Hey Sham! There you are!!!

  YKNOT - Don't even think I can do that. I've already said so much I don't even think they would believe me anyways...
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  36

  I need help in facing our abuser...

  by cognac in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  the thought of it scares me so much i can't even think straight... just writing this makes my heart race like you wouldn't believe.. i need to face my dad and mom.

  my dad abused us, my mom allowed the abuse.

  i need to face him with my two older brothers - the ones who got it the worst and who never faced them about it.... i know my mind will go blank so i'm simply going to write out what i have to say and read it to them.

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  cognac

  "The reason he did that was because we weren't having intercourse during our marital problems."

  I don't even know what to say. That's so disgusting... I'm so sorry...
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  36

  I need help in facing our abuser...

  by cognac in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  the thought of it scares me so much i can't even think straight... just writing this makes my heart race like you wouldn't believe.. i need to face my dad and mom.

  my dad abused us, my mom allowed the abuse.

  i need to face him with my two older brothers - the ones who got it the worst and who never faced them about it.... i know my mind will go blank so i'm simply going to write out what i have to say and read it to them.

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  cognac

  Thanks for your reply Lady Lee...

  What are your thoughts or anyone here's thoughts on what was going through there minds when there own husbands were actively abusing there child? Did they not feel anything? Did they want to step in and stop it? Did they think there own child deserved it???

  You know, just as I typed this question out, I remember my mom uncompassionately stating my brother was bad and that he deserved it. I don't understand this from her because she also has the capability to be extremely loving, compassionate, and understanding person. I just don't get how she can be two such completely different persons...
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  10

  I need some assistance!

  by lepermessiah in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i have been posting on here this week, and all i can say is this has been the best form of therapy!

  there are some amazing people on here, many who have been through the same thing, if not much worse.

  there are so many of you that i would love to converse with, but understand why this format is for the best at this time.. i am in the early stages of breaking the chains that bind, and i need some suggestions on reasoning on these 2 points.

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  cognac

  This is how I feel about the preaching work. The idea was to preach the resurrection and Jesus coming to the entire inhabited earth. - That was already done - In the first century. That's how we got Christianity in general. Out of that was formed different sects that we are not supposed to follow. There is a scripture that says that people will come and say "I am the Christ. Do not follow them." The Greek word for Christ is "annointed".
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  36

  I need help in facing our abuser...

  by cognac in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  the thought of it scares me so much i can't even think straight... just writing this makes my heart race like you wouldn't believe.. i need to face my dad and mom.

  my dad abused us, my mom allowed the abuse.

  i need to face him with my two older brothers - the ones who got it the worst and who never faced them about it.... i know my mind will go blank so i'm simply going to write out what i have to say and read it to them.

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  cognac

  wow, Lady Lee... You story is so sad... I will never understand why people would deny something both people know happened. Did they really convince themselves these things didn't happen??? Thank-you for your advice. It is really appreciated.
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  33

  Does everyone else get this reaction from their JW family when discussing objections to the religion?

  by jambon1 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  when pointing out my objections to the jw religion with my wife, i have noticed a worrying trend which even after 3 or 4 years shows no sign of relenting.. after speaking calmly for an hour or so and logically pointing out my objections, my wife starts to put forward outrageous assertations about my points.

  for instance, if i am refering to the fact that disfellowshipping is a form of extreem punishment & i mention the terrible effects that being d/f'd can have on people, she will eventually retort with something like "so what you are saying is that we should tolerate paedophiles, rapists & thieves in the organisation then?".

  of course, i've never at any point said anything of the sort.. or if i have been overly critical of the amount of control the society wants over peoples lives, she would reply "so what you are saying is that we should all just go out & do what we want, get drunk & live an immoral life?

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  cognac

  I've noticed that. However, I've taken a bit of a different approach with hubby...

  I just become as lazy as possible and he follows suit... Suggest sleeping in, going out, etc instead of meetings. That way, if they do less, more then likely there in less of "cult mode"...

  Then, I read old mags and show him stuff. Or, bring things up that I know he won't take offense to and let him do most of the talking.

  Works wonders for me!
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  36

  I need help in facing our abuser...

  by cognac in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  the thought of it scares me so much i can't even think straight... just writing this makes my heart race like you wouldn't believe.. i need to face my dad and mom.

  my dad abused us, my mom allowed the abuse.

  i need to face him with my two older brothers - the ones who got it the worst and who never faced them about it.... i know my mind will go blank so i'm simply going to write out what i have to say and read it to them.

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  cognac

  Thank you so much for all your imput. It has helped a lot...

  Mickey - It was physical abuse...
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  32

  Give Your Advice To Anyone Planning To Fade

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  list some thoughts and suggestions for anyone thinking about fading from the organization..

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  cognac

  1. Try to switch halls if you can, then Fade from the new hall.

  2. Move outta state.

  3. Make it as low key as possible.
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  36

  I need help in facing our abuser...

  by cognac in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  the thought of it scares me so much i can't even think straight... just writing this makes my heart race like you wouldn't believe.. i need to face my dad and mom.

  my dad abused us, my mom allowed the abuse.

  i need to face him with my two older brothers - the ones who got it the worst and who never faced them about it.... i know my mind will go blank so i'm simply going to write out what i have to say and read it to them.

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  cognac

  I'm sorry heartbreaker. Do you think you would ever say something to them?

  I will make a follow up post to this. Although it might take a bit of time in putting all my thoughts together to present to them...
• 
  36

  I need help in facing our abuser...

  by cognac in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  the thought of it scares me so much i can't even think straight... just writing this makes my heart race like you wouldn't believe.. i need to face my dad and mom.

  my dad abused us, my mom allowed the abuse.

  i need to face him with my two older brothers - the ones who got it the worst and who never faced them about it.... i know my mind will go blank so i'm simply going to write out what i have to say and read it to them.

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  cognac

  The thought of it scares me so much I can't even think straight... Just writing this makes my heart race like you wouldn't believe.

  I need to face my Dad and Mom. My Dad abused us, my Mom allowed the abuse. I need to face him with my two older brothers - the ones who got it the worst and who never faced them about it...

  I know my mind will go blank so I'm simply going to write out what I have to say and read it to them. I'm going to say how it affected me, how I see it affecting some of my brothers and sisters, and that my mother is just as much to blame.

  I'm going to give them a chance to try to explain. I hope out of all this for us to have some closure and healing.

  I will also bring up the JW thing. I will keep that part of it brief though. I will say how I don't know how to believe the JWs as a true religion when the abuse never seemed to affect there conscience and how they never felt the need to have a JC. How my father was the PO during all this and nothing was done. How in recent years the holy spirit supposedly reappointed him even though he did these things and nothing was done about it. I will say I that I've been told Jehovah will take care of things in his own due time and I believed it. But, how could Jehovah reappoint you through his holy spirit when this was never addressed?

  Anyways, what are your thoughts or suggestions on approaching my parents?