Posts by cognac

14

Following your heart not right according to JWs?

by cognac in

jw
friends

i heard in a talk recently that following your heart was one of the worse advice a person can get.

is this because the bible says the heart is treacherous?.

anybody else hear that in jw land?.

cognac

lol, outlaw...

Thanks for the reference theclar. Now, I have a better understanding of why they are so against my parenting style. Because I'm not "disciplining properly" evidently...

14

Following your heart not right according to JWs?

by cognac in

jw
friends

i heard in a talk recently that following your heart was one of the worse advice a person can get.

is this because the bible says the heart is treacherous?.

anybody else hear that in jw land?.

cognac

I heard in a talk recently that following your heart was one of the worse advice a person can get. Is this because the bible says the heart is treacherous?

Anybody else hear that in JW land?

I have noticed A LOT in raising my baby that I've gotten a lot of unwanted advice to let my "baby cry it out" when she's upset, "don't hold her to much", let her "go to sleep on her own", and on spanking (when she gets older.)

I decided to follow my heart in raising my child and have gotten a lot of critism and been really looked down upon for it by JWs.

I happen to follow the attached parenting method where I don't let my baby cry or fuss, I hold her a good amount, and pick her up if she wants to be held when it's time for bed.

My baby rarely cries or fusses and goes to everybody. She can fall asleep on her own laughing and playing with the video monitor and does extremely well at night. She happily plays in her crib and makes a specific noise which means its time for me to get her. She also plays on her own very well.

I'm told the she's "just a really good baby" and "a miracle baby" basically despite my parenting skills and everything I say regarding child rearing is thereby dismissed. She is a very well natured baby but I don't believe that it is despite me.

Anyways, off my rant. What do you think about this?

19

On spanking your children...

by HintOfLime in

i posted about this on my own website, but i'd like to get thoughts here as well, since jw's are big proponents of the 'violence is the answer' side of this debate.. new research is suggesting that spanking children may result in lowered iq's.

(la times article) one hypothosis i've read elsewhere as to why this may be is because when faced with an unexpected result (the glass broke) the non-spanked child wonders why the glass broke and how much abuse a glass can take before breaking (essentually, the problem-solving/scientific parts of the mind find the unexpected result interesting, and want to learn more).

the spanked child immediately enters fear mode - he's in trouble, his parents will be dealing him pain soon.

cognac

This happens when excessive force is used in disciplining children. And this is all too common in the Kingdumb Hells--spankings and beatings for not sitting still for 2 hours straight, threats of more beatings when they get home, and having to stay out in field circus all vacation from school (which I have myself seen).

I must say... I have not noticed this in halls unless the parents are foreign. Growing up, there were a lot of beatings. Now, I think our culture has changed so I notice a lot more kids playing and moms chatting in the back. The only people I've noticed spanking is moms and dads who are from other countries. When that happens, all hell breaks loose and we have about 10 sisters flipping out at the parents who are spanking and telling the elders. This is what I've noticed in the few halls I've been to over the past 8 or so years.

49

Handy ladies

by beksbks in

jw
friends

i'm curious how many of you gals get excited about tools?

i just love having the right tool for the job.

i got an excellent socket set and tool box full of stuff for xmas a couple of years ago, but i keep discovering cool stuff that i want.

cognac

hmmmm, never dawned on me to actually try and fix something myself around here... Let me try it and I will get back to you.

19

On spanking your children...

by HintOfLime in

i posted about this on my own website, but i'd like to get thoughts here as well, since jw's are big proponents of the 'violence is the answer' side of this debate.. new research is suggesting that spanking children may result in lowered iq's.

(la times article) one hypothosis i've read elsewhere as to why this may be is because when faced with an unexpected result (the glass broke) the non-spanked child wonders why the glass broke and how much abuse a glass can take before breaking (essentually, the problem-solving/scientific parts of the mind find the unexpected result interesting, and want to learn more).

the spanked child immediately enters fear mode - he's in trouble, his parents will be dealing him pain soon.

cognac

Josh - when you say "spank" what exactly do you mean by that? How hard do you spank? Does it leave a red mark? Where do you spank? Are you mad when you spank?

Bluegrass - Some say spank when really it's a small tap that doesn't hurt the child. Hopefully, that's all he means by spanking. But even at that, isn't 2 a little young?

72

Sh*t. I got busted...

by cognac in

jw
friends

at least it was by an apostate.

not sure if he's going to rat me out or not.

he wrote me an email saying, "is this who i think it is?

cognac

No problem josh!

19

On spanking your children...

by HintOfLime in

i posted about this on my own website, but i'd like to get thoughts here as well, since jw's are big proponents of the 'violence is the answer' side of this debate.. new research is suggesting that spanking children may result in lowered iq's.

(la times article) one hypothosis i've read elsewhere as to why this may be is because when faced with an unexpected result (the glass broke) the non-spanked child wonders why the glass broke and how much abuse a glass can take before breaking (essentually, the problem-solving/scientific parts of the mind find the unexpected result interesting, and want to learn more).

the spanked child immediately enters fear mode - he's in trouble, his parents will be dealing him pain soon.

cognac

I'm am EXTREMELY against spanking in my own household. Everyone says I'm going to spoil my child but I believe that they are wrong. I was also told that my child wouldn't sleep through the night or self sooth if I didn't let her cry it out. I refused to let her cry it out and used my own (in my eyes) a much more nurturing, loving method. I have a baby that has slept through the night at 2 1/2 months and has put herself to sleep at about 3 months or so. I believe this is because she goes to sleep content and happy...

I will discipline consistantly, but I will not spank.

Joshnaz - You could do other things besides spanking. Google "attached parent forum". That will give you a lot of ideas on how to deal with a toddler besides spanking.

72

Sh*t. I got busted...

by cognac in

jw
friends

at least it was by an apostate.

not sure if he's going to rat me out or not.

he wrote me an email saying, "is this who i think it is?

cognac

Well, Joshnaz, you are definately putting yourself in a position to have a jc and possible d'fing if the elders find out your on here. If you don't mind that, then it's not a big deal then.

72