I remember when I like a real stupid ass went to a committee meeting for enjoying committing so called immorality, when in my view I was making love and I enjoyed every dam minute of it. Well any way those stupid elders whom I knew personally for many years wanted to know every juicy (no pun intended) tid bit of what went on between me and this good friend of mine, a long time sister in good standing, I told them What The Hell, you guys don’t know what Sex is! You stupid ass’s! Do You have to have ever thing spelled out! I told them, You perverted assholes. So then one of them says well now brother, we need to know what each step lead up to, so they ask me again we need to know did you or her initiate blah blah or was it you that started blah blah blah. I finally told them do what you want with me I don’t give a rats ass about your procedures, as far as I am concerned you four elders will form a circle jerk after I am gone if I was too tell you in detail all the stupid answers to your questions, anyway and I am not participating in this BS. It was more like what a bunch of good old boys would be talking about down at the corner bar. It was then I told the watchtower society to shit in their hat, and I haven’t been back since!
Leprechaun
JoinedPosts by Leprechaun
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44
Committee Meeting Wants Details, oh BS
by Leprechaun ini remember when i like a real stupid ass went to a committee meeting for enjoying committing so called immorality, when in my view i was making love and i enjoyed every dam minute of it.
well any way those stupid elders whom i knew personally for many years wanted to know every juicy (no pun intended) tid bit of what went on between me and this good friend of mine, a long time sister in good standing, i told them what the hell, you guys dont know what sex is!
you stupid asss!
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Have you ever done something to show your disgust with the Kingdom Hall?
by Leprechaun inthis one time, the night they disfellowshipped my sorry ass from the christian congregation smerk smerk,i came strolling back from a beer bar and had to pee in a major way so i stumbled my way next to the entry door of the hall and let loose with at lest a picture of rolling rock beer after it was filtered through me kidneys, it still makes me proud..
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Leprechaun
Lady Lee, will you please poor me one more glass of Rolling Rock beer, while your at it have some brew your self.
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Meet my friend Hank
by Leprechaun injohn: "then come kiss hank's ass with us.".
john: "of course not, hank doesn't allow it.".
john: "hank has certain 'connections.'".
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Leprechaun
This morning there was a knock at my door. When I answered the door I found a well groomed, nicely dressed couple. The man spoke first:
John: "Hi! I'm John, and this is Mary."
Mary: "Hi! We're here to invite you to come kiss Hank's ass with us."
Me: "Pardon me?! What are you talking about? Who's Hank, and why would I want to kiss His ass?"
John: "If you kiss Hank's ass, He'll give you a million dollars; and if you don't, He'll kick the shit out of you."
Me: "What? Is this some sort of bizarre mob shake-down?"
John: "Hank is a billionaire philanthropist. Hank built this town. Hank owns this town. He can do whatever He wants, and what He wants is to give you a million dollars, but He can't until you kiss His ass."
Me: "That doesn't make any sense. Why..."
Mary: "Who are you to question Hank's gift? Don't you want a million dollars? Isn't it worth a little kiss on the ass?"
Me: "Well maybe, if it's legit, but..."
John: "Then come kiss Hank's ass with us."
Me: "Do you kiss Hank's ass often?"
Mary: "Oh yes, all the time..."
Me: "And has He given you a million dollars?"
John: "Well no. You don't actually get the money until you leave town."
Me: "So why don't you just leave town now?"
Mary: "You can't leave until Hank tells you to, or you don't get the money, and He kicks the shit out of you."
Me: "Do you know anyone who kissed Hank's ass, left town, and got the million dollars?"
John: "My mother kissed Hank's ass for years. She left town last year, and I'm sure she got the money."
Me: "Haven't you talked to her since then?"
John: "Of course not, Hank doesn't allow it."
Me: "So what makes you think He'll actually give you the money if you've never talked to anyone who got the money?"
Mary: "Well, He gives you a little bit before you leave. Maybe you'll get a raise, maybe you'll win a small lotto, maybe you'll just find a twenty-dollar bill on the street."
Me: "What's that got to do with Hank?"
John: "Hank has certain 'connections.'"
Me: "I'm sorry, but this sounds like some sort of bizarre con game."
John: "But it's a million dollars, can you really take the chance? And remember, if you don't kiss Hank's ass He'll kick the shit out of you."
Me: "Maybe if I could see Hank, talk to Him, get the details straight from Him..."
Mary: "No one sees Hank, no one talks to Hank."
Me: "Then how do you kiss His ass?"
John: "Sometimes we just blow Him a kiss, and think of His ass. Other times we kiss Karl's ass, and he passes it on."
Me: "Who's Karl?"
Mary: "A friend of ours. He's the one who taught us all about kissing Hank's ass. All we had to do was take him out to dinner a few times."
Me: "And you just took his word for it when he said there was a Hank, that Hank wanted you to kiss His ass, and that Hank would reward you?"
John: "Oh no! Karl has a letter he got from Hank years ago explaining the whole thing. Here's a copy; see for yourself."
From the Desk of Karl:
- Kiss Hank's ass and He'll give you a million dollars when you leave town.
- Use alcohol in moderation.
- Kick the shit out of people who aren't like you.
- Eat right.
- Hank dictated this list Himself.
- The moon is made of green cheese.
- Everything Hank says is right.
- Wash your hands after going to the bathroom.
- Don't use alcohol.
- Eat your wieners on buns, no condiments.
Kiss Hank's ass or He'll kick the shit out of you.With this, John dragged Mary to their waiting car, and sped off.
Me: "This appears to be written on Karl's letterhead."
Mary: "Hank didn't have any paper."
Me: "I have a hunch that if we checked we'd find this is Karl's handwriting."
John: "Of course, Hank dictated it."
Me: "I thought you said no one gets to see Hank?"
Mary: "Not now, but years ago He would talk to some people."
Me: "I thought you said He was a philanthropist. What sort of philanthropist kicks the shit out of people just because they're different?"
Mary: "It's what Hank wants, and Hank's always right."
Me: "How do you figure that?"
Mary: "Item 7 says 'Everything Hank says is right.' That's good enough for me!"
Me: "Maybe your friend Karl just made the whole thing up."
John: "No way! Item 5 says 'Hank dictated this list himself.' Besides, item 2 says 'Use alcohol in moderation,' Item 4 says 'Eat right,' and item 8 says 'Wash your hands after going to the bathroom.' Everyone knows those things are right, so the rest must be true, too."
Me: "But 9 says 'Don't use alcohol.' which doesn't quite go with item 2, and 6 says 'The moon is made of green cheese,' which is just plain wrong."
John: "There's no contradiction between 9 and 2, 9 just clarifies 2. As far as 6 goes, you've never been to the moon, so you can't say for sure."
Me: "Scientists have pretty firmly established that the moon is made of rock..."
Mary: "But they don't know if the rock came from the Earth, or from out of space, so it could just as easily be green cheese."
Me: "I'm not really an expert, but I think the theory that the Moon was somehow 'captured' by the Earth has been discounted*. Besides, not knowing where the rock came from doesn't make it cheese."
John: "Ha! You just admitted that scientists make mistakes, but we know Hank is always right!"
Me: "We do?"
Mary: "Of course we do, Item 7 says so."
Me: "You're saying Hank's always right because the list says so, the list is right because Hank dictated it, and we know that Hank dictated it because the list says so. That's circular logic, no different than saying 'Hank's right because He says He's right.'"
John: "Now you're getting it! It's so rewarding to see someone come around to Hank's way of thinking."
Me: "But...oh, never mind. What's the deal with wieners?"
Mary: She blushes.
John: "Wieners, in buns, no condiments. It's Hank's way. Anything else is wrong."
Me: "What if I don't have a bun?"
John: "No bun, no wiener. A wiener without a bun is wrong."
Me: "No relish? No Mustard?"
Mary: She looks positively stricken.
John: He's shouting. "There's no need for such language! Condiments of any kind are wrong!"
Me: "So a big pile of sauerkraut with some wieners chopped up in it would be out of the question?"
Mary: Sticks her fingers in her ears."I am not listening to this. La la la, la la, la la la."
John: "That's disgusting. Only some sort of evil deviant would eat that..."
Me: "It's good! I eat it all the time."
Mary: She faints.
John: He catches Mary. "Well, if I'd known you were one of those I wouldn't have wasted my time. When Hank kicks the shit out of you I'll be there, counting my money and laughing. I'll kiss Hank's ass for you, you bunless cut-wienered kraut-eater.
((( I know you may say why didn't you just post the link, well I don't know, I just now relized I could and it looks so nice so I sent it. )))
http://www.jhuger.com/kisshank.php
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Have you ever done something to show your disgust with the Kingdom Hall?
by Leprechaun inthis one time, the night they disfellowshipped my sorry ass from the christian congregation smerk smerk,i came strolling back from a beer bar and had to pee in a major way so i stumbled my way next to the entry door of the hall and let loose with at lest a picture of rolling rock beer after it was filtered through me kidneys, it still makes me proud..
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Leprechaun
Loosie - - : public speaking, flyers, decorating the KH pine trees, putting stickers on magizines, or even peeing outside, doesn't hurt anyone, like shooting them would. (Yeah, and besides my pee is mostly cheap beer, unless I go with a friend to our favorit bar and drink Rolling Rock now thats good brew.)
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Have you ever done something to show your disgust with the Kingdom Hall?
by Leprechaun inthis one time, the night they disfellowshipped my sorry ass from the christian congregation smerk smerk,i came strolling back from a beer bar and had to pee in a major way so i stumbled my way next to the entry door of the hall and let loose with at lest a picture of rolling rock beer after it was filtered through me kidneys, it still makes me proud..
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Leprechaun
Oh my goodness Ontario, you reamed me a new one. You must give me credit that I did not pee during the day in front of onlookers but rather chose 2:30 AM. I like your tenaciousness at passing the cards and stuff, I don’t hate the Witness’s I just know they have been Jacked Up" by the governing body who quite frankly don’t give a rats ass about anyone, that is why I get sick when I hear someone say the loving acts of the governing body.
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Where do you stand?
by vikesgirl101 inhi guys!
i love reading everybody's posts on here.
it's neat to see where the journey has taken them.
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Leprechaun
Dub’s but mostly the governing body are real Wack Jobs, if you think you have found lasting good friendships in the so called truth well Forget About It,”
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Have you forgiven your parents for bringing you up in the JW cult?
by Gayle ini had to sort through that for some years ago.
i concluded my parents were victims of the watchtower society too.
dad was a prisoner of war, under nazis at 19 yrs of age, almost died there due to no medicines or antibiotics and lost almost half his weight, his nerves were shot and he was drawn to the jws promise of a new world without war.
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Leprechaun
A little bit, I missed out on having Christmas with my family each year, I love Santa, I light my house up like freekin Casino during Christmas time. Marry Ho Ho
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Have you ever done something to show your disgust with the Kingdom Hall?
by Leprechaun inthis one time, the night they disfellowshipped my sorry ass from the christian congregation smerk smerk,i came strolling back from a beer bar and had to pee in a major way so i stumbled my way next to the entry door of the hall and let loose with at lest a picture of rolling rock beer after it was filtered through me kidneys, it still makes me proud..
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Leprechaun
Well frankly, I don’t give a dam what the Witness’s think concerning apostates or disfellowshipped ones at all, they can do damage to people’s lives and want them to have no life at all except to just buy their dam magazines and going from door to door spewing their dogma. I think if I could have taken a dump at the time I would left it also in front of their door at the Hall, like they say” business men do these things.
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Have you ever done something to show your disgust with the Kingdom Hall?
by Leprechaun inthis one time, the night they disfellowshipped my sorry ass from the christian congregation smerk smerk,i came strolling back from a beer bar and had to pee in a major way so i stumbled my way next to the entry door of the hall and let loose with at lest a picture of rolling rock beer after it was filtered through me kidneys, it still makes me proud..
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Leprechaun
This one time, the night they disfellowshipped my sorry ass from the Christian congregation smerk smerk, I came strolling back from a beer bar and had to pee in a major way so I stumbled my way next to the entry door of the Hall and let loose with at lest a picture of Rolling Rock beer after it was filtered through me kidneys, it still makes me proud.
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I Finally Feel I'm Ready to Move On (some adult themes)
by neverendingjourney ini havent been a regular contributor to this forum, although ive been an avid reader for nearly 3 years.
because of my limited contribution, i havent really created a bond with anyone here, so i really appreciate you taking the time to read my story despite that.
my oldest brother had moved away by then, so my mother turned to me for support.
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Leprechaun
Wow Nancey, I give you permission to go on with your life, I had to go down at the corner store and by more Miller beer just to finish your thread.