Big Wobble WELCOME to you and Mrs Twisty.
Your experience is so similar to my own, so I can empathise with you all the way. if you want any advice please ask the experts on here, if you wish to keep certain details off the site, and out of sight, then PM me or any on here, we are here to help and support.
Just one small piece of advice, do not do anything in a hurry, even trying to talk with your wife, you may wish to ask advice first.
There is no hurry, you are now free, and can do what you like at your own pace.
At first when I was at the stage you are now, I was on the verge of Disassociating myself, I am now very glad I did not, I also came close to being DF'd, becase I was too outspoken, again, I am now glad I did not go down that route.
Welcome again, you are now on the right road, the turnings you decide to take are up to you. We will happily be your SatNav.