Not sure if this will help you or not, but here goes:
As the son of an elder, born into the organization, I was always under the mcroscope. People would pick at every little thing, and though I never did anything wrong (even by JW standards) I was never doing enough. At the same time, I saw others getting away with whatever, things getting covered over, power plays, politics, and outright scandals. I struggled for a long time with things going on in the Hall. I would get discouraged and frustrated with what other people were doing, questioning how "Holy Spirit" could allow such things in the congregation.
Then one day, while doing some research, I came across some information that made me start questioning fundamental dates. That made me do even more research outside of the WT index and the WT Library CD-rom.
I started reading whatever I could get my hands on. I know the internet has been condemned by the society for years, so I went to the public library and started checking out references and following up on "facts" presented in the literature. What I found was astonishing.
10p posted a comment earlier about reading Richard Dawkin's works. Oddly enough, it was a reference in the Creation book that got me to start reading The Selfish Gene by Dawkins. That will change your perspective on a lot of things.
Don't let yourself feel inadequate. Work hard to really learn the facts, and weigh them carefully. The "truth" is not always the truth.