My sister recently wrote a short piece on the impact of our parents' becoming Jehovah's Witnesses in the 1950s. She was a teenager at the time. What is so striking and disturbing is that the same predicament faces so many teenagers to this day. I think my sister's reflections may be of some help to any who are currently facing the issues raised when a parent or parents become JWs. Here is her story:
"It was the middle of my junior year in high school. Academically I was doing very well. I
had been invited to join Alphas, the honor society, I was elected class
secretary, my boyfriend had given me his pin, I had joined Students for
Stevenson, my introduction to politics, I taught Sunday School at All Saints
Episcopal Church …. in other words I was the poster-perfect teenage girl of
1952 .… until I went home after school.
"My father had become a Jehovah’s Witness and my mother was
seemingly following in his footsteps.
Almost every night I had to attend
Bible studies to learn the “truth.” As my biblical education progressed, I became the unwitting
victim of their manipulative abuse as one by one, I was separated from my
activities, some friends, and even certain visits with my grandmother,
especially if they were church-related.
"Although I might have been considered a child,
I had experienced almost sixteen years of a contradictory belief system. When I offered an opinion, it was
trumped by their black and white interpretations and was considered resistance
and negativity. I was being
steamrolled into agreeing with their point of view. I found their beliefs to be self-serving, blaming others for
their own failure. It was awful to have all those adult
things forced upon me and feel powerless to fight back. I begged them to allow our former
minister to come to one of our studies to strengthen my arguments. He came, and they treated him with
total disrespect, refusing to listen to him or even allow him to respond to
their pomposity. My parents were
cutting off all possibility of real communication between us and I was left
afraid and anxious about my future.
"I was ashamed of my parents as they went door
to door preaching, and so for months, I kept my fear and anger to myself until
I felt I would burst. Finally, I
tearfully shared everything with my boyfriend, Bob, and my closest friend,
Lorraine. It was an immense relief
to reveal what I had been living through.
They had difficulty understanding what it all meant, but were both
completely supportive and urged me to speak with the Dean of Girls at
school. As a result, I made an
appointment to see Romaine Pauley and found her to be a compassionate and
wonderful listener.
"I explained how I had been ordered to resign
from my class office and my membership in Students for Stevenson because the
only government in which one should participate was Jehovah’s theocracy. I could no longer belong to the honor
society because its project was to assist at the Red Cross blood bank serving
juice and cookies to donors, and the Witnesses did not believe in blood
transfusions. I was no longer
allowed to attend church. But the
biggest blow of all was that their Bible studies took precedence over
education. I could only prepare
for my classes if there was time after I studied with my parents or attended
their meetings. I would not
be allowed to go to college because only the study of Jehovah was
important. Armageddon was
looming and the world was about to end.
"By the time my junior year was complete, Mrs.
Pauley had urged me to continue taking college required classes, explained that
I would always be a member of the honor society even if I didn’t participate in its project, that
I should go ahead and apply to colleges and would probably receive scholarship
offers, and that after I finished high school, I might consider leaving
home. She invited me to come and talk
with her at any time. It was this
wonderful support, her encouragement, suggestions and her availability to me,
that guided and inspired me throughout my senior year.
"At home, I had to attend bible studies, our
family social life revolved around the Witnesses, I had to attend their
meetings, listen to their inflammatory
rhetoric and go out in the service, knocking on doors and passing out
Watchtowers on street corners. I
was only allowed to see my school friends when it didn't conflict with Bible
studies or meetings.
"I made the decision that I would leave home as
soon after graduation as I could work out a plan. The summer after graduation, I had an unforeseen and
wonderful visit from a cousin who understood and witnessed my plight, and agreed
to drive me to Denver where I had an offered home with my aunt and uncle. I had not applied to any colleges
because I couldn’t picture a scenario that
would make it possible. Yet, a
year later, with the help of all those who had supported me, I had a new home
and a new vision. I did receive a
full scholarship and I did go to college."My sister has had and is having a wonderful life, having obtained a college education, having nurtured two children to productive adulthood, having traveled the world and being married to an adoring husband. She used her brain, her sense of right and wrong, her optimism and whatever support she could find to have a successful and fulfilling life. I hope her thoughts give support to others.
