Posts by ImFreeatlast

60

Well I'm Out!!!!

by ImFreeatlast in

it took a long time, but i can finally say i'm out and i took my family with me.. this is my first post but i have been reading here for a while.

i was brought up a witness, in a family that was very 'strong' (or so everyone thought).

i didnt have a relationship with my perents at all other than the 'family study'.

ImFreeatlast

Hi All,

I have added a bit more detail on another thread. http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/7/157525/1.ashx

7

More on how I got my family out.

by ImFreeatlast in

sorry for the delay in posting back all, now that im a worldly materialistic person work keeps me busy j. due to all the welcoming comments and the requests from my first post (http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/7/157384/1.ashx) i thought i would elaborate on how some of the ways i got my family out the way i did.

(i will try and keep this reasonably short j).

because i had already decided just after we got married that i didnt believe the crap anymore i started fading straight away, and i almost made a huge mistake, i was getting on quite well with an elder at the time and mentioned to him that i was a bit disillusioned with it all.

ImFreeatlast

Sorry for the delay in posting back all, now that I’m a worldly materialistic person work keeps me busy J

Due to all the welcoming comments and the requests from my first post ( http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/7/157384/1.ashx ) I thought I would elaborate on how some of the ways I got my family out the way I did. (I will try and keep this reasonably short J )

Because I had already decided just after we got married that I didn’t believe the crap anymore I started fading straight away, and I almost made a huge mistake, I was getting on quite well with an elder at the time and mentioned to him that I was a bit disillusioned with it all. That mistake taught me a lot. For the next couple of months I was bombarded with shepherding calls, drop in visits and ‘encouraging’ invites to dinners to elder’s houses and out witnessing. My wife was also told so there were a few interesting discussions at home as well. Needless to say I started pretending that I was ok again after a few months of all that…..

After the dust had settled and everything was back to normal again I decided to take things a lot slower and put a bit more thought into it. I started by very slowly reducing the number of hours witnessing, as well as very rarely answering at the meetings. I used to use any excuse I could think of from back aches to extra work to feeling sick.

Eventually my wife came and asked me what was going on. At this point I took a different approach. I told her that she ‘was right, I haven’t been as active as I should be’. I suggested restarting our family study and see if that would help. I said that maybe because I had been in the ‘truth’ for so long I was getting bored with it. So I suggested that we make the family studies interesting by picking topics and studying them together instead of just going through a book. I started the suggested topics by picking a nice easy one, I can’t remember but I think it was something to do with the memorial (I think it was around that time). The important thing here was that I was trying to make it seem as if I was trying to work at it. So I picked a topic that wasn’t going to get argumentative, and I made sure to go along with whatever the publications said.

Then I got her to pick one and so on for a couple of weeks. At the same time I increased my hours witnessing and going to meetings. Then when I felt the time was right I introduced a topic I really wanted to discuss. I did a lot of research on my own (instead of studying the watchtowers J ) until I had all of the GB’s arguments on dates looked at. Then to start the discussion off I said that I was out witnessing and someone asked the question about the witnesses use of 1914. I said that I had found it really difficult to answer and that the householder had asked some really tricky questions.

That way when I brought up arguments it wasn’t ME saying it, it was a ‘householder’. It took a lot of studying but she finally admitted that it didn’t make sense. That was the start. From there I brought up another topic, this time I think it was birthdays because one of the girls asked about it from a conversation with her friends at school. At the same time I started the slow fade again. This time my wife started it as well. And the rest is history.

I hope this helps some of you out there, I know it won’t work for everyone, but it did for me. The one piece of advice I can offer, is never directly say you don’t believe it, try you don’t understand it, or you couldn’t explain it.

Cheers,

ImFreeAtLast

259

What will you do when the Great Tribulation Begins?

by Malkiel in

i've always wanted to ask this question to those that have decided to leave the organization.. what will you do when the great tribulation begins?.

right now folks, a lot is happening in the political world.. gordon brown (prime miniter of england) last week gave a speech to the un stating that it is time for the un to step in and solve the world's problems, (specifically mentioning the economy and hunger crisis worldwide.).

barrack obama is shaping up to be the next president, a fellow who sure knows how to persuade and lead great crowds.

ImFreeatlast

Malkiel,

First let me say that I respect your commitment to the forum. I cant say i agree with you view points, but I am a firm believer in everyone having the right to their own point of view.

I used to be a very 'strong' witness, I was a pioneer for 5 years and gave my first talk at a convention when I was 17. Why did I add that bit? Because I know what it is like to think you have every answer to 'appostate' thinking. Personaly i dont class myself an appostate (you might disagree here but refer to the first sentence ), so you can talk to me :)

Just to bring the thread back to 2 things you said previously, (I know you have tried to answer a lot of questions and I commend you for trying).

On page 8, of this thread, you said

The problem is that NO one can argue with God's word, it is perfect.

My question here is, if the word of god, the bible, is perfect, why did the GB decide to rewrite a perfect book? now you might say 'because it put it in todays language', BUT you said the word of god is PERFECT. It should not need to be in the perfect language to be understood, correct?

Secondly on page 10 you said,

i've heard this remark before in this thread, that Jehovah is preparing to murder innocent children in Armagedon, why would he do that?

Do you really need me to relate you to the number of times in the bible god commanded the israelites to kill every man woman AND CHILD, of the apposing group?

60

Well I'm Out!!!!

by ImFreeatlast in

it took a long time, but i can finally say i'm out and i took my family with me.. this is my first post but i have been reading here for a while.

i was brought up a witness, in a family that was very 'strong' (or so everyone thought).

i didnt have a relationship with my perents at all other than the 'family study'.

ImFreeatlast

Thanks Gopher and Gerard

Re

PS can anyone tell me how to copy parts of a post to reply to it?

60

Well I'm Out!!!!

by ImFreeatlast in

it took a long time, but i can finally say i'm out and i took my family with me.. this is my first post but i have been reading here for a while.

i was brought up a witness, in a family that was very 'strong' (or so everyone thought).

i didnt have a relationship with my perents at all other than the 'family study'.

ImFreeatlast

WOW, thanks for the warm welcome everyone, I look forward to participating in many more posts.

For those that have asked about getting my family out, I dont claim to be an expert at it, but if there is any way I can help please let me know.

60

Well I'm Out!!!!

by ImFreeatlast in

it took a long time, but i can finally say i'm out and i took my family with me.. this is my first post but i have been reading here for a while.

i was brought up a witness, in a family that was very 'strong' (or so everyone thought).

i didnt have a relationship with my perents at all other than the 'family study'.

ImFreeatlast

Thanks BFD and Irkr.

Maybe I should start a new topic on how to help get spouses out... I was 'blessed' (if you can call it that) by having a family that was very 'spiritual' so we spent a lot of time studying, that helped to know what sort of questions to ask. The biggest piece of advice i can give is not to say you dont believe it but to say I dont understand it, that way they dont clam up and shut themselves in the 'its from the governing body mode'. If you get them to help you understand it the way they do, then you can start to ask questions that normaly would scream 'appostate' to them. even better they start to ask themselves questions. Well my wife did anyway.

Now we just have to work on her family too.

PS can anyone tell me how to copy parts of a post to reply to it?

60

Well I'm Out!!!!

by ImFreeatlast in

it took a long time, but i can finally say i'm out and i took my family with me.. this is my first post but i have been reading here for a while.

i was brought up a witness, in a family that was very 'strong' (or so everyone thought).

i didnt have a relationship with my perents at all other than the 'family study'.

ImFreeatlast

Thanks oompa. Well I'm not going to say it was easy or quick, but it started with knowing an elder who was a pedophile. And then the final clicher was admiting to her that I was really confused over the GB's use of the dates to and from 1914, and then asking her to help me in a family study to review them.... It took 2 months of study for her to admit they made it all up, but it was worth it.

63

WHAT MADE YOU LEAVE? Doctrine or people?

by chuckyy in

hi.. just wondering what made you take the final leap out of the org?

was it doctrinal in that certain things just didnt add up or was it because of the actions of people in the org.

that made you leave?

ImFreeatlast

For me it was people, mainly my family. I was brought up in a family of elders, pioneers and bethelites, I saw so much hypocrisy and 'we are better than everyone else' thinking that I couldnt stomach it. Then i started looking at the doctrine

60

Well I'm Out!!!!

by ImFreeatlast in

it took a long time, but i can finally say i'm out and i took my family with me.. this is my first post but i have been reading here for a while.

i was brought up a witness, in a family that was very 'strong' (or so everyone thought).

i didnt have a relationship with my perents at all other than the 'family study'.

ImFreeatlast

It took a long time, but I can finally say I'm out and I took my family with me.

This is my first post but I have been reading here for a while. I was brought up a Witness, in a family that was very 'strong' (or so everyone thought). I didnt have a relationship with my perents at all other than the 'family study'. When I was 14 I got baptised because it was 'the right thing to do', and I even started pioneering at 16 because everyoine in my family did and it was expected of me. But I never really believed it. Isn't it amazing that they can make you think its the only way to have friends?

When I was 20 got married to an awesome girl and there the problems started. My perents refused to support the wedding because we were 'too young', even though the rules on sex mean that you have to get married early if you want to have a proper relationship (no that that stopped us ). My dad even got up on the platform during a service meeting and gave a talk on the dangers of getting married young and how the congregation shouldnt support such young weddings... Needless to say my relationship with my family went madly downhill from there.

I would of been happy to leave at that time but I was just married and my wife was still a believer and was, and still is very close to her family. I was determined that while I wanted out I wasnt going to lose my family (being my wife and 2 daughters) over any religion. S I started a slow fade... to cut a long story short I managed to get my wife to see reality and then we successfully managed to fade while living next door to an elder (Im proud of that bit). We havent been to a meeting for 2 years now and are celebrating xmas and birthdays with our girls, and my wife's family still associates with her. While it may come crashing down at some point, at this stage it is looking good.

Sorry for the long post, but I just felt the need to share my story after reading everyone else's encouraging posts here.

34

When you look back do you wonder how the hell you believed it all ?

by karter in

any takers

ImFreeatlast

I never really believed it, I was brought up in it, and was baptised because it was expected but nerver really believed... i was just too scared to break out