milligal

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Posts by milligal

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  37

  NECESSARY LOSSES

  by compound complex in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  the loves, illusions, dependencies and impossible expectations that all of us have to give up in order to grow.

  judith viorst.

  in the first chapter, the high cost of separation, viorst discusses our absolute need for a mother in our early years, and what a challenge it is for children to become distinct individuals, separate from their mothers.

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  milligal

  In your first post about children needing their mothers I think it is important to view this issue scientifically. Yes, children need their mothers, but separation from a mother is not the sole cause of distress in these people. If this were the case, then every single person separated from their mother would display the same signs of distress, but all do not display the same symtpoms. You also have to account for personality and biological disposition towards anxiety, depression and other abnotrmalities.

  I'm not trying to shoot down a good thing that you are saying, but there are situations out there that exist contrary to the natural theory of a mother/child bond. When this happens people need to be aware that it is not the end of the world, many people go on to live happy productive lives....Moms are important-yes (I am one : ). But people have a wonderful way of healing and adapting that can make any life situation turn out beautiful.
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  34

  Homosexuals are human also...

  by zeroday in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  pretty much living my entire adult life in jw land i had such a one sided biased against the world including gays...in my own family there were a number of gay members that i thought i was so above them and better than them because the bible said so...i had a cousin die of aids in the early 80's and felt no remorse at all...since my departure 4 years ago i have redirected my priorities in life to include those of not my way of life...i currently have a gay cousin about my age and see the world in a whole new light...i no longer feel superior to anyone and accept those for who they are...this has been a long and hard road back to simplicity i'm just sorry it took so long...

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  milligal

  I agree, there is no reason to bias anyone. Just because I choose to live a given lifestyle does not make it the only right one.

  I have promoted gay rights in the military setting (not a popular conversation in the US let me tell you) but I have heard stories of homosexual soldiers who served alonside heterosexuals and there was never any problem.....I think gay rights is the next civil revolution waiting to happen....
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  36

  Loneliness

  by B_Deserter in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i wasn't sure i was ready for it, but i did it anyway...i put out a personal ad.

  i've gotten a few responses, but nothing seems promising yet.

  i get the feeling that internet dating is more about quantity than quality, but i think that's what i need right now.

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  milligal

  I highly reccomend vacationing near a military base. Now a days there are plenty male and female soldiers (not sure of your gender or preference). These people are lonely also, many of them looking for friendships with the opposite sex and if they are just back from deployment or have another in their future they are looking for some fun.

  I met my husband on my way out of JW, he was df'd the same time I was, now he's in the military (thus the information above ). I wish you the best!
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  16

  Apostasy "seeing oneself as a victim denied"

  by whereami in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i found this on a pro-witness site http://pastorrussell.blogspot.com/2008/07/seeing-onself-as-victim-denied.html.

  do you think this is a fair assesment of "apostates"?

  i think he fails to see the whole picture.. .

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  milligal

  A) this doesn't take into account those who were raised inside the religion and had no choice but to join

  B) there is not a fair description of what an apostate is; is it someone who has left the religion and joined another (or maybe none) or is an apostate as described one who deposes the teachings and leadership of the religion?

  This is not a fair assessment because it is poorly written and leaves some major issues unclarified.
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  133

  Is there a Christian message without the element of fear/perceived threat?

  by nvrgnbk in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so many christians highlight love and mercy as the main point of their religion.. that's undeniably appealing.. but is it true to christianity?.

  in the end, isn't the belief all about escaping god's violent wrath?

  aren't those that are unable to accept the system's contradictions and absurdities promised suffering and eventual destruction as punishment for their disbelief?.

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  milligal

  Christianity has been historically one of the least loving religions out there. It is riddled with God's 'accountability' (including burnings at the stake and the crusades come to mind) It's a control issue. In America the constitution is based in part on the idea that religion (christianity) will enforce social rules that the government does not want to legislate...'control the masses'. That is one of the reasons it is allowed.

  People can interpret christianity any way they want to, but in the end the Bible is a viscious, violent book filled with the punishment for acting against God. Anyone who says otherwise is not being fair or using the entire Bible as the western christian base has designated it.
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  14

  Help/Advice

  by andrrea in

  1. social
  2. family

  i've been lurking here for a while, reading and learning.. i'm not jw, nor have i ever been.

  recently however, my younger brother (he's 25 years old) began dating a girl (she's 27) who is jw.

  she has succeeded in completely converting him, to the point where any discussion about jw turns into a screaming match.

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  milligal

  I just wanted to mention one thing: if this girl has reformed your brother, and his reformation has deeply affected his relationship with (you) his family WHILE she is sleeping with him -a huge no-no for JW's you might consider there are mental issues on her part. This behavior sounds very manipulative and could totally be blamed on the JW's- up until you mentioned the fornication. She is manipulating both your brother and her so-called friends at the kingdom hall-she's screwing with everyone's brains!

  I would bet that even if this girls gets the boot from JW's-if your brother chooses to stay with her he is in for quite a ride. She will most likely find other ways to manipulate and cause trouble. I'm sorry to be a downer : ( good luck with this one!
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  45

  Lurker for a long time, finally decided to take the plunge!

  by Momma-Tossed-Me in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i say this because i have been helped so much by the many posts that represent the way i feel about the wtbts.

  it is good to know that there are so many people that feel this way.

  i am currently inactive and dont comment but do attend meetings for the sake of the family.. my wife is still in and i have a daughter and one on the way.

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  milligal

  Welcome. It's a big step coming forward and saying out loud how you really feel. Everyone is not so brave.....
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  59

  I've been studying JW for 6 months. Please help..

  by fb130 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i'm still trying 2 figure out if this is a pro or anti jw forum but here goes..

  i started studying jw 6 months ago & i do feel i'm growing.

  i think at the rate things are going i'll b babtised in another 6 months.

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  milligal

  Well you've already gotten a lot to think about and I'm not even sure you will read this far, but if you do:

  Welcome; you are smart to investigate. I was raised JW and never questioned any of it, as I was taught until I saw things happen that could not be reasoned away. You will grow as a person through your association with JW's but what you will sacrifice in order to acheive that kind of growth will be your personal freedom to choose any number of lifestyles or ideals and ethics that you might hold dear.

  You can find personal growth in many ways, JW's are not the only ones offering you something more....
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  13

  Why is something, anything, too "far fetched?"

  by feenx in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  first off with the contents of this post i am not here to upset anyone, nor am i promoting any singular (or collective) idea, thought or belief.

  there have been some recent posts on the board the last couple days regarding ufo's, government coverups, etc.

  such topics always spark the debate between what can be proved, what hasn't been proved but is "realistic" and what is too "far fetched.

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  milligal

  I also agree with the thought that we do not know or understand everything that is 'out there' whether you are referring to ghosts or UFO's. Who are we to say? Now I wouldn't go bringing up those topics on a job interview....although many people believe in those things or the possibility of those things existing, most of them want to do so in the privacy of their homes....
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  9

  "don't worry everyone will get theirs at armagedon"

  by milligal in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  this was written in a letter to me from one of my active jw brothers (biological brother).

  he was referencing the ex-husbands of myself and my other df'd sister, both of whom have been guilty of 'slipping under the radar' (an elder's words) by doing such silly things as getting arrested for spousal abuse and stealing a vehicle....they're both still in good standing.

  i digress, let me say that i was shocked to hear from my brother.

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  milligal

  It's kind of double indemnity once you think about it. I mean if you are punished now by being df'd then why would God punish you again by killing you at armageddon? I know the argument they give about protecting the congregation, but ironically there are plenty of people still attending who are waiting on god's time to be ousted....(you know when you challenge the fairness of why you were df'd and someone more guilty than you was not, you are told that in god's time that person will be brought to justice). The congregation isn't protected from those folks.

  I don't subscribe to their idea about morality anyway, but I find the logic so faulty that I wonder how I ever lived my life by it.....