Posts by milligal

19

thinking vs. feeling.. must we choose just one ?

by caliber in

jw
friends

thinkingthinkers decide based primarily on logic, and when they do so, they consider a decision to be made.

they tend to see the world in black and white and dislike fuzziness.

feelingfeelers decide based primarily through social considerations, listening to their heart and considering the feelings of others.

milligal

Critical thinking is an aspect of logic that gives you access to 'both sides'. I prefer that major decisions be driven by logic, but there is no singular way of coming upon knowledge. You HAVE to include all aspects of a given situation and emotion is part of that.

Interestingly, emotional intelligence is listed as a type of intelligence you can have or obtain. People can also be emotionally stupid. So whether emotion or logic drives you, doesn't it all boil down to how good you are at either one?

8

Perfect Love

by Aculama in

let me run this by you all and see what you think.

it seems to me that every individual has their own ideas about everything from religion to politics.

these ideas are formed and shaped by many things ( station in life, parents, social background, education, ect.).

milligal

Although I applaud your self scarificing spirit, I completely disagree. Difficult people definitely exist, but so do educated people, who base their opinions on sound theories and scholarly references to prove their points. Someone has to be right, or at least someone has to take the lead and be able to prove why they should be allowed to.

Growth comes from productive disagreements. While I agree that competing to win an argument can be counter-productive, when both parties of the argument adhere to singular standards then when one 'wins' it can simply mean that person proved his or her point successfully. Our entire legal system (US) is based on this premise. Many companies train their employees in 'interpersonal skills' to be able to disagree and have discussions that end with some spark or brain storming that promotes the business goal.

I would never be happy surrounding myself with people who did not challenge me. While I'm sure you are a very nice person who has helped many, I don't think your theory is relevant to many aspects of life. I hope this doesn't come across sounding harsh, but hopefully this helps you to understand those that you may interpret as being 'difficult'.

5

Whos to blame ? Have we learnt?

by cluless in

jw
friends

being lied to by the watchtower hurt.

it hurt because when i exposed these lies to members of the congregation i discoverd they preferd the lie to truth.

that they would compromise there family there integrity and friends to continue living a lie.

milligal

Maybe I misunderstood your post, I thought you were blaming someone for getting you hooked on cigarettes and implying that we (as individuals) are led to our decisions by more powerful people-people who sell things and advertise things to us. Was this a wrong impression of what you were saying? If so I apologize (either way I respect your opinion even as it may differ from mine).

I was trying to respond that; I don't feel led along. I know when my kids watch tv they want to go to the store and buy what they see on the commercials, if someone tells my 9 yr old a story he is inclined to believe it. I am not at that stage in my life, I am critical and I don't buy into products, choices or ideas even under heavy pressure. Does that make more sense?

35

Are you Racist?

by Warlock in

jw
friends

well, are you?.

warlock .

milligal

I'm not a racist but sometimes I am culturally biased (or bigoted?) certain sub-cultures within the US, I find hard to tolerate. I don't hate people within those cultures, but let's face it, JW's are a sub culture and I can't stand them....just being honest here. (with that being said I make it a point TO tolerate those that I don't like)

12

Who was your childhood hero or she-roe?

by zagor in

jw
friends

ok boys and girls something light tonight.

ive been talking to someone the other day who is studying psychology and she tells me you can tell a lot about a person based on who their childhood hero was.

im not sure if i subscribe to the idea at all, kind of reminds me of horoscope or tarot archetypes but on the other hand, ive been thinking tonight, she might be onto something there at least partly.

milligal

Queen Elizabeth I, she ruled Britain for 50 of it's most prosperous years, never married and knew how to stroke men's egos to get what she wanted....all good lessons

20

A practical lesson on shunning.

by strawberry cake in

today i decided to visit a friend of mine who i met when she was my study.

(she has no intentions of making a commitment, but still continues studying with old pioneer 'friends' of mine.

well it just so happens that these 2 sisters were there.

milligal

Recently I have decided that because I was baptised at the ripe old age of 13 and basically entered a contract with the JW's which they severed and df'd me, that THEY presumed to have a contractual agreement with a minor and that I (also) will no longer accept the terms of the shunning. They can do what they please and look like jerks (as I'm sure you're 'friends' did). But I'm not accepting the shunning....

so there! I think what you did was the absolute right thing to do.

16

more women jds than men

by John Doe in

jw
friends

now, i haven't been to meetings since i was about 20, but in my congregation the sexes were pretty much evenly split.

however, i've seen the statement several times that there are "not enough brothers to go around," so i can only assume that my congregation was atypical.

so, if there are more women jws, what is the reason for this?.

milligal

Here's my theory:

JW's offer a social/emotional acceptance that many women crave, of course men are emotional and social creatures also, but are they as inclined as women to seek out social accetpance (blanket statement)? Obviously, I'm a woman and I don't fit into this mold, I didn't think keeping my friends and family's approval was worth staying in the borg but I would submit that more women than men would have those feelings-thus more female than male JW's....

2

What are the options here....

by milligal in

jw
friends

i see that some are sharing contact information, i am creating an email for this now.

what other options do we have, are there other sites?

is anyone thinking about creating another jwd?

milligal

I see that some are sharing contact information, I am creating an email for this now. What other options do we have, are there other sites? Is anyone thinking about creating another JWD?

Like everyone else here I have found this site helpful and I am really dissapointed!

14

Defending others

by JK666 in

hey everybody,.

i have tried in the past to defend others when i thought they were being abused.. case 1: a gay poster was banned, and i lobbied to get him reinstated to this board.

eventually, he was able to come back on.

milligal

hillary-I've seen it on other 'non' ex-Jdub boards too. There are some people who enjoy drama and will promote it and others who will jump on the bandwagon because it is exciting to them. I appreciate that the administrators on this board keep close tabs on the threads.

Personally, if I feel too strongly about an issue I will likely avoid it since my viewpoint is not the be-all end-all. That's really what these boards are: a bunch of people expressing themselves, and as wonderful as I think that is; let's face it folks, most of what we post is not scholarly material Nor have any of us passed background checks to find our place here so take it for what it's worth.

23

Do you take Responsibility

by kerj2leev in

jw
friends

usually the one that doesnt want to be friends anymore wont recognize his/her part in the failure.. in jg wifes thread about being friends with your ex the above comment was made.

in failed relationships it's usually both parties that share the blame.. in the past three years since my divorce i have come to except my part in the break-up of our marriage.

i have identified areas that i need to work on to be in a healthy relationship.

milligal

Shamus-I have to disagree with you, I don't find it offensive or inappropriate when people give details of their relationships breaking down. It is healing to share these things, and the internet is a 'safe' environemnt for many. Let's be real here, there is no use pretending that we are something we are not and it is liberating to many people to be themselves and say what they think.

Is it really about assigning a percentage of responsibility or justifying actions? I thought is was more about expressing the way I view things and sharing that with others who have been through a divorce or break-up also. I am volunteering this view as is everyone else on this thread, I don't think anyone feels coerced.

Thanks for your thoughts.