Do you take Responsibility

by kerj2leev 23 Replies latest jw friends

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  kerj2leev

  Usually the one that doesnt want to be friends anymore wont recognize his/her part in the failure.

  In JG wifes thread about being friends with your ex the above comment was made. In failed relationships it's usually both parties that share the blame.

  In the past three years since my divorce I have come to except my part in the break-up of our marriage. I have identified areas that I need to work on to be in a healthy relationship. I have actually grown and become a better person, father, and one day maybe husband.

  I'm not "friends" with my ex, but I feel we have a good relationship for my son's sake. I hope that she can do the same in recognizing her part in where things went wrong and become better from it.

  There is no growth in blaming.
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  free2think

  There is no growth in blaming.

  I totally agree with you Kerj, i try to apply this philosophy to all aspects of my life.

  Great post.
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  golf2

  Good post. Acknowledging blame and taking on responsibility is a must for maturity. My lady friend has a habit of pointing her finger, one day I said to her, have you ever notice that when you point, three fingers are pointing back at you? She laughed and said 'never.'
  
  
  
  
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  kerj2leev

  i apply this philosophy to all aspects of my life

  Thats why you're free2think.

  I should point out it doesn't happen overnight! LOL
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  free2think

  hehehe. I changed it to try coz it does take a lot of work and i thought hey that sounds a bit pompous and i didnt mean it to but you get what i mean right.
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  Finally-Free

  I grew up in a family where my dad drank excessively and would sometimes terrorize the entire family for days on end. I grew up believing that my mom was always the innocent victim and my dad was always the troublemaker. Once they separated I learned there was more to the story. My mom used to nag and nitpick without letup. Once dad was gone I became the target. When they were together, I didn't notice what she was doing. All I noticed was his explosive reactions, so in my mind he was the bad guy. I don't excuse his behaviour, but I eventually grew to understand it. Once they were apart his drinking slowed down dramatically. We actually became good friends, where previously we couldn't be in the same room together without it ending up in a blowout.

  When I look back at my own marriage, I can see both of us had legitimate grievances. There was an unwillingness to compromise on both of our parts. We both put more emphasis on our own personal "rights" than we did on the marriage. It takes two to make marriage a success, and if a marriage falls apart usually both must share the responsibility.

  W
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  kerj2leev

  We both put more emphasis on our own personal "rights" than we did on the marriage.

  Good point!

  Marriage and relationships are about compromise. When one puts their own "rights" over the union then it only opens the door for trouble.
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  aSphereisnotaCircle

  I can't say that I agree with that statement

  I'm not friends with my ex because he treats me like crap.

  It has nothing to do with my part of the break up of our marraige.

  He has stated that he would like to be friends with me, but why would I want to be friends with someone who does not treat me with respect?
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  kerj2leev

  I can't say that I agree with that statement

  How long ago was the break-up?

  At first I didn't think I did anything wrong either. But as time passes you realize there were things you could have done different.

  If it is recent I could see why you might think that way.
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  aSphereisnotaCircle

  It's