Alexia

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Posts by Alexia

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  21

  Not sure what to do - Not "in" and not "out"

  by Alexia in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  long story short: forgive my grammar, im in a hurry!.

  i grew up as a jw by my mother who was baptized about two years before i was born.

  my dad studied but was a severe (really severe) alcoholic and my older brother studied but was never really into it.

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  Alexia

  And though I was never "really" a Witness, I still believed it. I couldn't control some of my urges. I definitely though I was going to be destroyed if I didnt straighten up and fly right. Feeling trapped in that way was definitely one reason why I stupidly got married, ha ha!
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  17

  An interesting discussion with my wife

  by 10p in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  last night i had an interesting talk with my wife in bed.. oprah had a show on recently about gays.

  now i don't normally watch oprah, but she was watching a taped one in the evening, so i was just overhearing stuff.

  anyway, i think my wife puts more faith in oprah than in the gb :).

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  Alexia

  I can relate to the "friendship" issues. When I left, I had NO friends. No one to call or hang out with. That was difficult. Thankfully, I found real friends out side the organization though - but for a lot of people, that can be very hard and horribly isolating at first.
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  12

  hey

  by Mrs_R in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i'm new so thought i'd say hi.

  been thinking about the witnesses alot lately and have a had a good search online and found this place.. was born into the ahem 'truth' and left when i was 17, baptized at twelve i think.

  i couldnt answer something covered in the baptism questions and all 3 elders who did my questions mentioned that this was their only doubt.

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  Alexia

  Welcome! I'm new here too, and its interesting to finally know there are other people who are (almost) just like me.
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  21

  Not sure what to do - Not "in" and not "out"

  by Alexia in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  long story short: forgive my grammar, im in a hurry!.

  i grew up as a jw by my mother who was baptized about two years before i was born.

  my dad studied but was a severe (really severe) alcoholic and my older brother studied but was never really into it.

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  Alexia

  Thank you everyone for your thoughtful responses. I didn't expect the elders to send my ex husband to jail, but I did expect them to at least ask him about it - they didn't. Later, I learned the society doesn't acknowledge sexual abuse, rape, domestic, child abuse, etc. In terms of my mother, its been years since I been back to the meetings. I do have to think about whats best for and and for her as well. It would be harder if we were closer. If we get married and/or decide to have a baby, then she will need to know about all of this. I'm not concerned about the congregations, my only concern is my mother. She will shun me, try to get me back in and grieve because according to her, she will have no family members who will survive Armageddon since she is the only one who is in "the truth". I am her only hope. (Sorry again about the lack of paragraphs. I havent figured out this forum yet)
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  21

  Not sure what to do - Not "in" and not "out"

  by Alexia in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  long story short: forgive my grammar, im in a hurry!.

  i grew up as a jw by my mother who was baptized about two years before i was born.

  my dad studied but was a severe (really severe) alcoholic and my older brother studied but was never really into it.

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  Alexia

  "I am still not understanding -- what would the elders have to do with a criminal matter?" Of course they have nothing to do with a criminal matter. When this happened between me and my ex-husband, I was too afraid to go to the police. I _did_ have to explain to the elders why I was divorcing him. "But why didn't your mom call the police about the sexual assaults when you were between 9 and 12???? " She did, but they boys left the area (for a few years) when they found out they cops were after them. Thus, they got away with it. I have no idea what my ex is doing. I havent seen him or since before I filed for divorce.
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  21

  Not sure what to do - Not "in" and not "out"

  by Alexia in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  long story short: forgive my grammar, im in a hurry!.

  i grew up as a jw by my mother who was baptized about two years before i was born.

  my dad studied but was a severe (really severe) alcoholic and my older brother studied but was never really into it.

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  Alexia

  Sorry about the lack of paragraphs and spacing. I cant figure out how to keep the proper spacing/paragraphs in the post when its published.
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  21

  Not sure what to do - Not "in" and not "out"

  by Alexia in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  long story short: forgive my grammar, im in a hurry!.

  i grew up as a jw by my mother who was baptized about two years before i was born.

  my dad studied but was a severe (really severe) alcoholic and my older brother studied but was never really into it.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Alexia

  "I am still not understanding -- what would the elders have to do with a criminal matter?" Of course they have nothing to do with a criminal matter. When this happened between me and my ex-husband, I was too afraid to go to the police. I _did_ have to explain to the elders why I was divorcing him. "But why didn't your mom call the police about the sexual assaults when you were between 9 and 12???? " She did, but they boys left the area (for a few years) when they found out they cops were after them. Thus, they got away with it. I have no idea what my ex is doing. I havent seen him or since before I filed for divorce.
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  21

  Not sure what to do - Not "in" and not "out"

  by Alexia in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  long story short: forgive my grammar, im in a hurry!.

  i grew up as a jw by my mother who was baptized about two years before i was born.

  my dad studied but was a severe (really severe) alcoholic and my older brother studied but was never really into it.

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  Alexia

  LONG story short: Forgive my grammar, I’m in a hurry!
  
  I grew up as a JW by my mother who was baptized about two years before I was born. My dad studied but was a severe (really severe) alcoholic and my older brother studied but was never really into it.
  
  
  She did not divorce him despite the alcoholism, verbal abuse, driving us children around while stone drunk and having minor accidents with us in the car (SOMONE was looking after us). The elders told her that that she had to remain with him. Years later when I was 16, he started using crack and steeling from the home and stole thousands of dollars out of my mom’s checking account one time. The brothers in this new congregation we started attending told her she can divorce and still be free to marry if she wanted (which after 27 years of Hell, she didn’t!).
  
  I was sexually assaulted when I was 9-12 many times by some boys the went to a middle school. One of then just was the son of an elder. I told my mother and we went to the brothers and they pretty much blew me off because I didn’t “scream” like some account in the Bible were Taymor? Taimor? did or didn’t scream when was raped by her brother. I was scared to death during those years. I couldn’t run, let alone scream. My case was essentially dismissed by them. That has left a horrible scar on me.
  
  
  I got baptized when I was 17. I didn’t know what I wanted out of life though. I had already started to slip away a couple years back, had boyfriends and sex, experimented with weed and alcohol (just occasionally), but still attended all meetings and FS because my mother was my influence. I pretty much got baptized for my mother.
  
  By 19-20, I really wanted to get married. Mostly because I wanted to stop committing fornication! At 20 I married a ministerial servant who I later found out didn’t want to work, wanted me to support him, owned guns (secretly but legally). I found out later that he had this horrible dark side that wanted to murder women. I know this sound odd but I was practically married to a potential serial killer. He said Jehovah was the only thing keeping him from acting out.
  
  I stayed with him for three years. I supported him financially and emotionally. Then he started to physically abuse me. I woke up one night with his hands around my neck for no reason. We also had an argument where he attacked me in the same way. Stupidly, I didn’t leave him until 6 months later. When I told the elders why, they pretty much blew me off and asked why I didn’t tell them sooner. They didn’t believe me because I waited almost six months to report him. They didn’t ask me if I went to the police, filed a report or anything. I was told if I divorce, I wouldn’t be free to remarry. They never questioned him about his actions. That was the end of that discussion. This was summer of 2002.
  
  I left him, filed divorce, got my own place and never went to another meeting except the Memorial which I stopped going last year.
  
  I’m in another relationship with a sane man and we have the upmost respect for each other. I had other relationships and flings but there were not long-term. This is.
  
  So here is the problem:
  
  My mother, who is still very active in the congregation, knows nothing about this. “This” meaning my not attending meetings, not going to the memorials, I have no publications; she doesn’t know I have relationships, sex, nothing.
  
  I don’t want disassociate myself because I love my mother (despite her past faults) and it would crush her to know end. We are not very close but we talk about 2-3 a month by phone. Whenever she brings up the society, I pretend I know what she’s talking about. I get most of my information about what’s going on like the Watchtower changes and the new “Bible Study” arrangement from sites such as this one.
  
  Any advice? I know this is a hard one, but any experiences or words would help. If it wasnt for her, I would have DF myself long ago.
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  32

  Falling Asleep at Assemblies

  by LouBelle in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  yes i have dozed off many times when i used to attend.

  most of the time kept the shades on as we used to have outside assemblies.

  the thing was not to slide off the chair, drop your head forward or snore.. i've seen some brothers/sister hitting a serious lean to the left or right as they slept and then they'd jerk awake, only to lean again.. some people had sneaky methods.

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  Alexia

  Our assemblies and conventions were indoor (San Francisco Bay Area) so it was pretty hard to hide (no shades, no umbrellas, etc). Sit as close to the rear as you can was pretty much all I could do!
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  8

  Political references from the Podium? / Patterson pump me up

  by kzjw in

  1. watchtower
  2. scandals

  for you who may attend the "talks" on sundays..is anyone noticing the "political neutrality" doctrine is being used quite a bit?

  5 out of the last 7 weeks at my wife's cong...also i heard of "pump me up" sessions for elders in patterson?

  any "troof"?.

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  Alexia

  Well since we lived in 8 years of Bush hell and the fact that may have our first Black or woman president – I’m not surprised that it’s a hot topic, even among the JWs; so the elders have to keep them in check, lol.