Is there only the one elder who wants to meet with her? and where? in the hall? In a closed door room -- nope! Not alone! Who knows what the point of the meeting is?
There will be 2 at least - will she feel intimidated? I think willy is right -- you are the spiritual head -- she is to defer any questions about you to you....... as you are not df'd or da'd....yet but then again, maybe they do want to talk to you and are using your wife to get to you and find out what is in your mind....
I am not an elder but as a woman I would not allow myself to be put into that position without my hubby there -- witnesses, witnesses -- some can be real p.............