I hate this so much. It feels like I can't function when I don't have my meds. I'm the mother of five children and a wife. It feels as though, when I start falling, the kids and husband are looking down on me as though this is my fault and sometimes I think it is. I can't do my chores at home, I can't deal with people at work, my husband cant understand he says he tries, but it ends up being an argument or discussion about what this is doing to him. I have to try real hard to be sensitive to his feelings and the kids feelings and to everyone around me. I want to scream so loud "what about my butt", but then I feel selfish, they aren't the ones who have this , I do and I feel like a freak, in fact that's what a brother of mine and his wife call me. I don't know how long I am willing to let everyone go through what my depression is causing them. I don't want anyone to go through this. I have no one to talk to about it, no one to tell me that they understand, nothing. It's been like this for years. I've tried taking myself off of the medication before, because my brother told me that it was all in my head. I couldn't handle life off my meds. I run out of them due to lack of money and I try so hard to hold it together and fake a smile, but it's getting harder and harder. It sucks.
earthshouldstopspinning
JoinedPosts by earthshouldstopspinning
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49
Why Depression Sucks.
by shamus inbecause you can make jokes and appear "happy" at the drop of a hat, meanwhile, you're being chewed up from the inside out.
because you can't learn to take one day at a time because your good days are always overshadowed by knowing that you're going to just slip back down again.
it's inevitable.
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