Wow, go away for a little while and look what happens! You got married? Well, if she has a grad degree in psych, what's to be afraid of? I'd think if makes it easier to have someone in your life who can tell you how to get the most out of college,and when you get stressed - you can talk to her and she can assure you whether or not you have some psychopathology or just need some more sleep. I know you've pretty tight about sharing your personal life, but I must say, I'd really like to know how you met and landed a such a smart girl.
startingovernow
JoinedPosts by startingovernow
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48
College
by AllTimeJeff ini know i have threatened to do this before, like when i first left.
but i am thinking of going to college.
this time, i feel determined.
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The Events That Caused Me to Start Pioneering (way back when...)
by AllTimeJeff ini was toying with the idea of re-writing my lifestory.
frankly, it would be long.
so i will just do some random experiences instead.
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startingovernow
Thanks for sharing. I can relate to much of your experience. I actually loved that video you referred to, although now that I've grown up, I would really like to know where all those interviewed are today, especially the ex-surfer dude. He would have been better off still surfing, and I would have been better off not believing that I wanted to be like him. It is amazing that a a full-time servant can have a mental disorder, not have health insurance, not makeenough money or the skills to really support themselves, and not have a weekly family study, but still be appointed by God's spirit and an example to all only as long as they continue their full-time status. Sad indeed. Look forward to hearing more of your story - you are not alone.
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shepherding visits.....were they?
by angel eyes inwe have friends who say that they have had some awful shepherdings,the things theyve been told in them were far from encouraging.. we havent ever had one so to be honest i cant comment...but would love to know if you had one?
were they regular and were they ever encouraging?
?.
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startingovernow
jookbeard - yes, in fact the only time I ever got a "shepherding call" was when I never missed a meeting and was a regular pioneer, go figure.
Now let me tell you what this visit was like...First off, the elder that was to "sherpherd" me gave me the day and time he wanted to come over. It didn't matter that I worked crazy hours just to be able to pioneer and support myself in the first place and that the time that worked best for him was during the time I usually got some much needed sleep. I thought shepherding calls were meant to discuss how I was doing and to get assistance if I needed it. So considering that I did not feel comfortable sharing such information with this particular elder I went to another elder and asked if I could get someone else to shepherd me, someone I felt comfortable with. Well, his reaction made it clear that I had some nerve to make such a request! He "assured" me that the appointed elder would be encouraging to me and if after his visit I still felt I needed to talk to someone, well then I could. So, new to the org and never having learned to stand up for myself, I agreed. So the elder brings a MS that is my age (in other words extremely young- remind me what the Bible says the qualifications of such people are - can someone in their teens or barely 20 really qualify?) So now I'm faced with 2 brothers I am uncomfortable telling my personal business and struggles to. But in the end it really didn't matter anyway. The elder had some kind of script he went off of. It was not a personal visit geared toward my needs at all. I don't remember anything discussed. Granted its been years, but I think I would have said the same thing the next day if anyone bothered to ask, which they didn't.
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Getting Offended: A Method of Control
by daniel-p ini was always frustrated with how much counsel and advice was given at the kingdom hall on how not to offend others.
it seemed like complete immunity was given to the person getting offended.
they were never counselled to just mind their own business, but if anyone had any reason to be offended about something you had done, the elders, or that person, would be sure to let you know about it.. most of the time it was nobody's business.
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startingovernow
Well, following the counsel to not do anything that might "stumble" others sure kept me controlled for too many years. I remember shortly after baptism when I saw the inconsistencies between all that I had been told that a JW was (and all the changes I would have to make to be approved by God) and what people who were raised in the religion were doing, when I spoke up, I was told that I was only offended because I was "so new." Should have ran right then.
Scully's right. JWs are not supposed to offend others, but whenever I was stumbled (and I'm talking serious offenses - the kind most people (non-JWs) would see as hypocritical and a unhealthy environment to keep oneself in) I was always given the whole "everyone is imperfect" and "don't let what others do effect your relationship with Jehovah" crap.
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My Story
by ~Jen~ ini was raised a jw by very strict parents who, in my early teen years were physically and then later emotionally abusive all the while with my dad being and elder (and he still is).
i didn't want to be a jw then but my life was all about making my parents happy which started with me being baptized at 13. my parents constantly drilled into my head that most things were "bad" and i was "bad" i constantly did whatever i could to avoid being bad.
i had no life but then met a nice jw boy when i was 17. against my better judgement, i stayed with him and married him when i was 20. i didn't have a lot in common with him but he was really nice and was safe - he was a witness and even though i wanted to be in the world so bad i chose to be with him because he would keep me grounded, in the truth and away from where i really wanted to be because it was the right thing to do.. we were married for 7 years and have 3 sons.. for the past few years i've known that i did not want to be a jw even more and was sick of being fake.
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startingovernow
Please read "Crisis of Conscience" and "Combatting Cult Mind Control."
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Went to District Convention this weekend with no Badge brother talks in 3rd person to Witnesses "Who's this guy? A study? WTF
by Witness 007 ina brother who's a friend of mine introduces me...but i have no "keep on the watch" badge so he stares at me...then where the badge should be...then back at me...turns to the brother with me ignoring me and says "who's this guy?
is he a study.." he had a smug ass#ole look on his face.
like people without badges can't talk.
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startingovernow
I am curious as to why you wouldn't be wearing a badge...and yet yes, even if you were visiting it only makes sense that the "brother" would talk to you directly, not to someone else as if you couldn't talk for yourself/
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So confused
by greenie inso i've been reading this board for a while but never posted.
so, go easy on me!
i have a lot of thoughts, but they're not going to be totally clear.. my story: i was dating a guy, not long, but totally fell in love with him.
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startingovernow
Wow. Please be careful. Even though you might think he agrees to let you live your life the way you want, if he still believes any of JW teachings he will be "head" of the household and over the "spiritual" teaching of the child. Please go out an get yourself a copy of "Crisis of Conscience" and read it with him.
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So confused
by greenie inso i've been reading this board for a while but never posted.
so, go easy on me!
i have a lot of thoughts, but they're not going to be totally clear.. my story: i was dating a guy, not long, but totally fell in love with him.
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startingovernow
I have to add, please read, "Combatting Cult Mind Control."
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My Story
by ~Jen~ ini was raised a jw by very strict parents who, in my early teen years were physically and then later emotionally abusive all the while with my dad being and elder (and he still is).
i didn't want to be a jw then but my life was all about making my parents happy which started with me being baptized at 13. my parents constantly drilled into my head that most things were "bad" and i was "bad" i constantly did whatever i could to avoid being bad.
i had no life but then met a nice jw boy when i was 17. against my better judgement, i stayed with him and married him when i was 20. i didn't have a lot in common with him but he was really nice and was safe - he was a witness and even though i wanted to be in the world so bad i chose to be with him because he would keep me grounded, in the truth and away from where i really wanted to be because it was the right thing to do.. we were married for 7 years and have 3 sons.. for the past few years i've known that i did not want to be a jw even more and was sick of being fake.
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startingovernow
Wow - time to get a copy of both "Combatting Cult Mind Control" and "Take Back Your Life" - both books that explain cults and the importance to realizing that fear of failure on the "outside" is just one of many tools cult use to control people. It may not work out with the new boyfriend. Even so, you can be free of the cult and be your own person!
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Watchtower study edition - "Find Joy in the gift of Singleness".....Oh Brother!!!
by Witness 007 injune 15 page 29.
40 year old carmen has her picture on the page...a plain looking girl but she says: "i enjoy what i have, and don't dream of what i don't have.
" also interviewed are loli and lidana who are good looking but also can't find a husband.
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startingovernow
Yeah I read this article. It isn't a study article, just one of the fillers. Sad to say there use to be a time when I believed what was said in such articles, and tried to allign my attititude to fit the mold. Now I question if the woman in the picture is really "Carmen and " if any "Carmen" actually said those words. The writing of the WT is so black and white it is sickening. I look back at all the single "sisters" I knew past the age of 25 in the organization, and I can't think of one that was happy about being single. And I'm not saying marriage would have made them happy, but I do think that being able to date without the pressure of marriage would have done a lot more for their happiness than being alone. I used to also have no doubt that marrying only another JW would be the best thing, but now I realize it's not because the couple could serve Jehovah happily together, but rather, its basically because it is the marriage or the religion that comes first - to serious JWs its the religion, to others, its the marriage.
This article is just futher shame material to be used against any JW woman/man who feels a better connection with a non-JW. And sadly, it something that will be referenced by others when any single person is feeling lonely - just more "trust in Jehovah" BS, along with the false promise of having many "spiritual mothers, fathers, and siblings" in the organizaiton.