hi guys and gals,.
i am a hypocryte.
brought up in the "truth" but know its not.
Cantleave: Welcome, you are SO welcome here!! I am in a very similar position as you, and you will find so many others in the same boat. This is a great place to get perspective and support.
As others have said, Crisis of Conscience is a must-read. I'm going through agonies trying to decide what to do--and I have a child as well. Are you still going door to door? I'm trying the slow fade, but I have to be careful how far I take it. I am looking forward to your posts!
were they children?
ages?
.
Peak attendance on Sat: 11,900 (approx). Baptized: 41. Less than half a percent. I was sitting too far away to discern any ages--no one looked too young
my life has reached to a dead end...i'm stuck and there is no way out.
i was inactive for 6 years and i'm disfellowshiped for the past 3. i would never think that my life would have been in this terrible mess.. .
i wasn't planned to be disfellowshiped by my "wife" turned me in to the elders for apostasy 2 times!!!
JustHuman: You've got some good advice here--first, get professional help for the depression. Lifting the clouds even a bit will help you think more clearly. If you can find a good marriage counseller AND your wife will agree to go, that might be the next thing. Even going by yourself might help. You have a right to be happy, to make a happy life for yourself AND your kids have the right to see you do that and to be part of it. Just some thoughts--Please take care...
were you dfed, did you find out some lies about the org?.
what was the last straw?
Dishonesty over evolution--read the Creation book then looked up the references and just about had a breakdown over how much was taken out of context and/or twisted to mean something totally different than what the speaker intended. Then I discovered the UN fiasco and got angry. Started researching, especially the 607 nonsense and was stunned at the extent of the intellectual dishonesty. Haven't technically left, though--still doing a slow fade for the sake of family, like so many here.
i have been lurking on here for some time and i finally decided to join the fray.
i am 25 years old and was raised in the society.
fortunately when i was 8, my father left the organization and this allowed me to see the wrold from both angles, the jw (mom) and not (dad).. at first, i was strongly on the side of the witnesses and i even allowed myself to be convinced that getting baptised at 11 was a good idea.
Wordly: Wow, what an amazing story. I am so sorry for the tragedy you have endured, but so happy to hear you have a little girl to carry on the memory and genes of her father. Welcome, welcome. PS--"word-ly"--very funny though it took me a couple of re-readings to make it click!!!! We are all survivors here,in one way or another. This is a great place to get perspective...
i am still trying to recover from an experience that i had with a c.o.
reading other discussions has helped me to start getting other bad experiences into a better perspective and since the experience with the c.o.
was really the final straw i was hoping that reading that i am not alone would help me in moving on.
Onthewayout, it sounds like you have accomplished a very successful fade. When did you stop turning in time? Were you ever asked for it? I think its great you're being totally left alone and that's what I'm hoping for--so far so good for me, but I'm still turning in an hour or 2 each month for my elder husband's sake. Oops--not trying to hijack this thread or anything...
they are not your leaders!.
here it is, in print, on page 110 above the picture of "the nine".. "the governing body relies on god's holy spirit for direction.
its members do not regard themselves as the leaders of jehovah's people.
Passwordprotected: Not trying to hijack this thread or anything but..."Pete Tong"? What does that mean???
use of 1 enoch elsewhere in jude.
jude 4 = 1 enoch 48:8-10, 81:1-2, 108:6-7 .
jude 6 = 1 enoch 10:4-12, 12:4, 15:3-7 .
Leo: You are my hero. This is an amazing piece of scholarship. Surely you have had work published?
this is the watchtower media dept.
in 12 years, after they lose their minds and start killing their members.. then splinter sects will form, based on the degree of corporate punishment each sect believes in.. some will still kill their errant children.. others will believe in spanking and forcing all meeting attendance,.
and finally, there will be those, prodded by the holy spirit, who renounce all physical contact with other people, preferring punishment by various eye signals.
Just watched it: YIKES!!
please no sarcastic crap from mean members.. i had a family member kill herself over being raised by a c.o.
who told her that it ruined their life and that she was a mistake.. i have a 10 page report from a psychiatrist back, who was also a jw, in the eighties that is pretty incredible.. now, i was also born jw with a 100 year "truth" heritage to cause me the same guilt.. and it may be drivng me the same way.
i feel the same way my aunt felt.
5th Gen, I feel your pain, I really do. I have had the same thoughts, semi-suicidal thoughts, just last night because of feeling so trapped, and so lost, no matter what I do. I actually had a panic attack at the KH and went and sat in the car, even though I wanted to run. (I still go to keep peace in the fam, at least for now, slow changes happening). There's nothing worse than feeling helpless. I've been in therapy for the last year and it helps so much just being able to speak your thoughts out loud in a non-judgmental atmosphere. The point is, help is available. I feel so much better this morning. You will too, eventually. You will get through this, but don't try to do it alone.
