So many interesting experiences here! Thank you everyone for sharing. For my part, I remember being super little--like kindergarten age maybe--and not being able to figure out why women couldn't do everything men could do in the organization. That never left me, and as I grew older, I finally told myself that if God is sovereign and made everything, then he had the right to decide who got to be boss. Of course, that never *really* set well with me but I was a super-pious 20-something pioneer, Bethel commuter, ultra flirt and just too busy have a great time socially to really worry about it (and yes, that is totally possible as a young JW, depending on where you are!). It was one of those things that I just shoved to the back of my mind, where it quieted down but later, started jumping around and waving its arms until I couldn't ignore it any longer.
When I finally started thinking about it, the whole idea of man being head and woman being obedient, which never made sense to begin with, just became more and more nonsensical. It made me furious to show up for service on a weekday when it would be me and a handful of incredibly mature sisters, one of which would take the group with a scarf on her head but her 10 year old newly baptized son would have to say the prayer. Looking back on it now, it is is actually laughable, it's so crazy.
What's worse is how it affected me on the job. I'd be in a meeting and notice something or have a good idea but couldn't bring myself to speak up because there was this horrible feeling that one of the men should be the one to say it, or that I would be out of place to bring something to their attention. And then a few minutes later, someone would say the exact same thing I was thinking and be roundly complimented or whatever for their great idea! It's taken me a long time to get over that (which I now have, thank goodness). But the scars are real.