Tell us a little about yourself and your family.
Born in the early 50’s in London England to non
JW parents and when I was young we moved to Adelaide South Australia
and there my brother was born .
I contracted TB on the ship over and was treated in
hospital for months with a antibiotic which is banned for humans
here now . My father would tell me tearfully over the years how
horrible it was for me and them .Even then ,dad was told by doctors
I may have nerve and brain damage from the treatment and an unstable
temperament.
My parents had difficult lives themselves and never
got on or talk, I thought this normal, my brother and me never got
on well either and basically it was a house of hate but we got on
with life ,all the time I watched other families and wondered why we
were different. Dad was in WW11 in the RAF as a bomber on Lancaster
planes and such for the full term of the war and it damaged him
terribly – I have written on here before about him and how his
attitude toward war affected my thinking growing up. He had PTSD ,as
a child I was inquisitive and would go over his old RAF photos and
ask countless questions which he struggled with but was patient. One
day he broke down as I was going thru the photos again and explained
like never before the things that happened in that war personally to
him ,all of theyoung men in the photos died back then, and I
realised he was riddled with guilt for being the only one to survive
the war .I was 10 and came closer to understanding dad from that
time on. Before, I could not understand why he would send me into
shops for tobacco and his chewing gum for instance.
My mother was a nut job if ever there was one ,born
out of wedlock to poverty ,her mother died when my mother was 12 and
then she was on the streets .An aunty died and left her a massive
amount of money and some slimy relatives took her in only then and
spent all her money ,only to throw her on the streets again. But
that was not before she suffered sexual abuse and torture at their
hand. So she was twisted and ill prepared to marry and have children
and as a result her past was passed onto myself and my brother as I
have written about on this site before. She became a mormon when I
was about 3- 4 ,which dad hated and we had American missionaries
around contantly with their religion and brags of America as “Gods
own Country” ,I always wondered as a kid why would God select
these braggers as special people. Well she was booted out of the
Mormons ,as I found out years later for having a relationship with a
young boy at the church who I new well ,he was about 4 years older
than me.
Things were pretty bad at home by the time I was 12
.My brother and me experienced sexual abuse and I was abducted from
outside a public swimming pool and raped in a car and left to
struggle home ,I kept all my secrets till I was 40 and lived daily
with them till I told my father then – he was crushed and I lived
with the guilt of telling him till his death.
Amongst all of this my mother pushed me to develop
skills of divination etc saying it was good and the skills I learned
over the years ,even before I was 12 ,made me a nervous wreck,
foretelling terrible events in others lives confused me (from what
source was this power?) By the time I was 20 it was eating away at
my sanity ,I was convicing myself this was all imagined and I was
making this up .The trouble was the people were still in my life and
knew what the truth was . It scared me so much as to where this
power came from so I forced myself away from the people and doing
the divination amongst other things .
Met my first wife who was terrified by my past and
would’nt talk about it ,which suited me. Finally I thought ,a bit
of normal life ,get a home raise kids and forget the past .Her
mother was a JW and so in the early 70’s I began discussions about
her beliefs and accepted a study with an elder in the local
congregation ,I asked him if the big A was coming in 1975 and he
said he thought so ,which was contrary to the mother-in-laws
thoughts so I quit the study and we moved away but the sisters
caught up with my wife in the late 70’s.
Sorry if that was lengthy but I thought a bit of
background might be helpful.
Were you a born in or a convert?
.No
Are your parents / family Jws?
No
How many generations have been Jws?
None
Did you hold any position in the WTS? (MS, Elder etc…)
About 1980 I studied and gave it up again ,then one
day a brother came around and I liked his manner so I started again
,baptised early80’s and became a MS a few years later ,told the
body I won’t be an Elder because of work/family/and the the number
of bible studies we had, my wife was a full time pioneer for years
and we brought many into the org.
Did you *really* believe in the bible, in spirits
(angels, demons)?
Well by the time I did my last study I thought I
had found the truth ,here was an explanation for the spiritistic
practises and the source of powers I had used !
Also a world of peace and love was possible with
Satan gone nobody would be hurt like me and my family had
experienced and I wanted the best for my kids
Did you get baptised? When and why?
Yes 1983 .I thought this has to be the answer to
mankinds woes ,I studied the blue “TRUTH” book
What was the initial trigger that made you start
questioning things?
Being so busy
teaching others I learnt empathy for people and fealt for there
plight.
Over time I saw
the hypocrisy of so many brothers and especially Elders who would
not really help the people once they camein. They were left to their
own troubles, and some of them I studied with ,and they had been
alchoholics and drug addicts, or simply like myself had tough things
happen in their lives. They needed on going help not meetings field
service and such. They
were supposed to be shepherded and comforted not ignored ,they were
broken and hurt people .
Of course this
came to a head when the elder body confronted me about “going
around to the brothers and sisters”. I had already been thru a
similar situation with helping a young brother ,an elders son, turn
back from fornication and return to Jehovah. The body said I was
usurping their headship when in actual fact they had alredy
conspired to DF him because they despised the young mans father . He
actually did turn back when I met with him and took another brother
as a witness ,but this was not good enough and they DF’d him
anyway – where was the love that Christ taught?
This I guess
started my questioning and I continued being a thorn in elders sides
ffrom then on.
Where did you find information? Internet sites? Books?
My marriage broke up and I was left a single father
at the beginning of the 90’s ,my delusion of the truth holding the
marriage together smashed (3 fold cord BS etc),I’d stopped being a
MS earlier to save the marriage, and stopped studying with people
and had more time to look at the Org more and keep my kids in ,but
there was too much BS at the meetings going on . People treated me
with suspicion now because I was a single father ,rumours amongst
the brothers that I was an adulterer which were lies, and when I
sought help from the brothers it was’nt there. I wanted to look
into the JW org but there were no books at the library and it was
pre internet days for me.
I married again to a sister who after our wedding
night revealed her elder father had molested her for years ,and so
began 15 years of fighting the Watchtower for justice ,he denied it
of course and in time the internet came to my life and the Silent
Lambs web site which helped me greatly. Along those years I saw how
HUMAN the WTS is ,there was no holy spirit directing this lot!I wore
out and so did our marriage ,it had survived so much ,what with my
kids becoming addicts and helping them clean up ,I was broken and my
wife was lost because the WTS had not been there for her and her
father is still a JW today, she left me and the org. ,she could’nt
cope. We remain friends.
But before she left the 2 witness rule came to a
head with an event we had in Queensland Australia before we moved
back to Adelaide because my dad was dying. While in Queensland an
elder there had purchased an item from me about a year before we
left there and it was faulty so I replaced it with a brand new model
which was more expensive ,this was because his item had been sent
back to the company who supplid me with it to repair ,but they went
into liquidation so I thought I would take the loss and give him one
of my more expensive new models to settle the situation . Oh no
that was’nt good enough and with all sorts of threats made clear
was a ******* prick. Shortly after this I was to move states to my
father ,but to keep my work liscence continuing I needed written
evidence from a brother who I had done work for to prove I was still
in the business and did good work so they could liscence me in the
stste I was going to . We agreed to meet on a job of his to sign the
papers but lo and behold it was the new house of this complaining
elder ,and when I got there this elder came out and accused me of
cheating him etc but was using the most filthy language and the
brother who I had come to see ,his fleshly brother and another JW
witnessed the whole scene . When I tried to sort this mess out
“theocratically “the Elder and his cronies shut me down . So I
got written testimony from the 3 brothers of what they had
witnessed and then was on my way to my new home state. From there I
contacted by mail the Bethel in Sydney Australia and they now had a
3 witness account of the event with this elder .
Of course all that happened was the elder sent a
letter to me ,at the order of Bethel, but this letter did’nt
acknowlege any error on his part ,no apology just a limp excuse for
his behaviour – but that was what I needed to see the WTS for what
it is ,that was the final nail especially since all the years of
fighting the WTS over my wifes rapes and no 2 witnesses.
How difficult or painful was the process of leaving?
I guess it was a long painful exit
Was it a big dramatic exit or a careful quiet fade?
Before my wife left we stopped going to meetings
after the letter came from Bethel. I have written on here before how
I exposed pedophiles in our congregation ,but it was painful for the
elders involved but probably not dramatic for the others in our
congo as the details were hidden from them. But I continued to
expose the pedophiles and the WTS reasing on how to handle these
cases. As far as I know they dF’d me remotely.
Did you convince anyone else to leave with you?
No idea
How were your family relations affected by your
decision?
My children are grown into adults into good working
lives and they were thrilled at me leaving
Were you or are you still being shunned by those who
didn't leave?
I was well known in this area as an MS ,pioneered
from time to time and any old timers run like rabbits. They totally
shun me ,don’t come to my door unless theres a mistake made
How long have you now been out?
About 12 years
.
Was there anything you looked forward to doing when
you left?
Freedom of my mind
What are you most proud of achieving since you left?
Warning others of the pedophile situation when I
left ,I so fear for the children in there.
Is there anything you miss about life in the
congregation?
Yes there was some really good genuine friends but
they would think I am possessed now
Red pill or blue pill? Do you regret waking up to
reality at all?
Never ,so thankful for Silent Lambs and this site
which helped me find my way to the truth about the WTS!!
Did you become an atheist or transfer your faith
elsewhere?
I wish I could believe in a truly active merciful
god and son but the reality of religion destroys that hope.
How do you now feel about religion in general?
The opium of the masses just about covers it.
Do you feel any guilt celebrating xmas or birthdays or
doing any other JW "no-no"s?
Never did put much stock in that bullshit – no
guilt
Have you attended any face-to-face meetups of ex-Jws?
Yes once years ago with an ex sister and a gay ex
brother ,met them thru this site
Describe your circle of friends - mostly other ex-JWs
or regular people?
Regular people
Do you tell people about your JW past?
Yes at an appropriate occasion
Do you feel animosity or pity toward current Jws?
I have moved on from wanting to help them see the
real truth and don’t feel I have anything special to offer ,once I
got the understanding of cognitive dissonance I did’nt feel I
could really help anyone leave because I am cut off from them.
How do you respond to witnesses when they call at your
door?
If it is ones I know, I am the same friendly person
I have always been and they run,
newbies I will tell them the horror they are in
Storm the barricades or tend to the wounded? (do you
favor activism or support)
Did the activism to a degree in the past but would
gladly help a wouded soul
What do you think is the most effective approach to
reaching people still in?
Let the WTS fuck with their lives long enough and
watch ‘em leave
Do you think the WTS can or should be destroyed, will
continue on as-is or grow / change?
They will survive in some form as we have seen in
the last 20 years even with all the revealing of their BS after all
they are an American corporation well lawyered up.
How has your life been impacted by your JW past?
Hey I learned to do public speaking ,and human
organisations that pretend to be from god are clearly identifiable
to me now!
Are there things in your life you blame the WTS for?
.Probably but looking back it was just part of life that I
learned from
JW upbringing - a protection or a curse?
I can’t say ,some might gain from the morals
taught but then there is a heap of born ins who learned to be utter
hypocrites like elders children
.
How do you fill your time now it's not filled with
meetings and field service?
Living a retired life looking forward to working on
my old motor bikes and seeing my 8 grand children
Do you still have an interest in JW beliefs and
doctrines?
Guess I do ,I want to witness the crumbling
American religion fulfill all my expectations of hypocrisy and I
admit to a certain pleasure watching the top brass squirm as another
piece of shit they pass gets destoyed by time.
How much of your time is still spent on JW related
matters?
Not much just check in on how things are going and
the ones here are not getting over taken by life and the past.
What do you think of the ex-JW community?
Only come on here don’t see any
Do you see yourself still being associated with the
ex-JW community in 5 or 10 years time?
No idea maybe I will have moved on
Do you fear the future?
Probably no more than anyone else
What advice would you give to anyone starting the
journey of leaving the WTS?
Here’s the relgion I was baptised into – here
is what it is today ,RUN
What would you change in your life if you could go
back and talk to yourself?
Don’t trust organisations
Do you have any regrets about life since you left?
I’am proud of what I did supporting my 2nd
wife and challenging an evil organisation
Can we read your life-story anywhere? (links to online or
books)
Bits and pieces on this site when contribting to discussion mostly
