Posts by heather613

40

Please help non jw in love with a studying jw

by heather613 in

jw
friends

i was engaged to a man and was pregnant last year we lived in different states for awhile when he started studying jw without even telling me.

he lied to me about why he couldn't move with me and after 5 months he finally did then out of nowhere he went back to georgia and hid his relationship with a female jw needless to say they got married.

when i ofund out by calling around he told me it was for convience not love and that he would divorce her he was having alot of problems and didn't want to hurt me.

heather613

ok I finally got through to him the elders in Kentucky told him that the decision is up to him and that he is not baptised or pioneering just studying they could only give him spiratual guidance. I sent him a link to this forum I think he now fully understands what I was telling him he thought he was changing for the good had no idea about the rest of the rules, he wanted to go by the bible now, but we have talked and by doing so he has decieded to leave the jw studying and we are talking about choosing a religion that our whole family can go to. He is still getting a divorce and we are planning on getting married soon after. I will definately keep in touch, snf I want to think all the posters on here you've all been a huge help/

Heather

40

Please help non jw in love with a studying jw

by heather613 in

jw
friends

i was engaged to a man and was pregnant last year we lived in different states for awhile when he started studying jw without even telling me.

he lied to me about why he couldn't move with me and after 5 months he finally did then out of nowhere he went back to georgia and hid his relationship with a female jw needless to say they got married.

when i ofund out by calling around he told me it was for convience not love and that he would divorce her he was having alot of problems and didn't want to hurt me.

heather613

he's going by the bible about the whole adultry thing but honestly we'd been living together for many years without thoughts about the bible now he wanted to become a better person so he's all into it now. I'm not sure what the jw teaches you if you were to leave and you don't go by the bible what will happen to you, and I am by no means sin free. I am hoping that if he chooses our family he will stop hiding things and stop acting like a drone "your information is flaude" "your trying to hurt me" "I'm a better person like this" "thats what the bible says" I swear I repeated myself like over 100 times before I got the message threw to him. I honestly do love him I'm a very forgiving person thats why I've stuck by him through all of this.

40

Please help non jw in love with a studying jw

by heather613 in

jw
friends

i was engaged to a man and was pregnant last year we lived in different states for awhile when he started studying jw without even telling me.

he lied to me about why he couldn't move with me and after 5 months he finally did then out of nowhere he went back to georgia and hid his relationship with a female jw needless to say they got married.

when i ofund out by calling around he told me it was for convience not love and that he would divorce her he was having alot of problems and didn't want to hurt me.

heather613

I have finally gotten him to understand that we cannot live together and not be married, and I don't want to just be a friend after our past together it would almost be impossible. He has now told me that he has been seeking guidance from elders in kentucky. We are both hoping that his wife has moved on since she and her family have decided not to talk to him. He has told me that he is faced with the tough decision to leave his religion to be a family with me and our son or to choose his religion. He knows now that his marriage in gods eyes is permanent and the only way out is if she has not been true to the marriage but since she will not communicate with him or the rest of her family witch are also jws he can't count on knowing the truth. I told him I will give him some time to think this over and that if he wants to make this right with god that he will have to do some hard soul searching and ask for forgiveness and mean it if he chooses to be a family.

Thank you so much everyone for your kind words

Heather

40

Please help non jw in love with a studying jw

by heather613 in

jw
friends

i was engaged to a man and was pregnant last year we lived in different states for awhile when he started studying jw without even telling me.

he lied to me about why he couldn't move with me and after 5 months he finally did then out of nowhere he went back to georgia and hid his relationship with a female jw needless to say they got married.

when i ofund out by calling around he told me it was for convience not love and that he would divorce her he was having alot of problems and didn't want to hurt me.

heather613

no we use to live in ga we are both from michigan he wants me with him in kentucky but I know unless we were married or he quit jw that we couldn't technically be together even though the world including god will know we've already been. My son need some surgurys and kentucky has a childrens with special needs program to help with the medical cost. He's a sweet angel and by no means do the medical problems make him any less. We do want to get married still but aren't quite sure if god will approve of our marriage or if he would be df.

40

Please help non jw in love with a studying jw

by heather613 in

jw
friends

i was engaged to a man and was pregnant last year we lived in different states for awhile when he started studying jw without even telling me.

he lied to me about why he couldn't move with me and after 5 months he finally did then out of nowhere he went back to georgia and hid his relationship with a female jw needless to say they got married.

when i ofund out by calling around he told me it was for convience not love and that he would divorce her he was having alot of problems and didn't want to hurt me.

heather613

I have forgiven him for what happened while I was pregnant what I'm wanting to know is when he gets his divorce can he marry me if he is still studying jw? I don't plan on joining him in religion but I have asked here in oklahoma and they will allow it with certain conditions so I'm asking any elders out there can you tell me if we can get married or not. He's been studying real hard trying to find out if there is a way for us to be together.

40

Please help non jw in love with a studying jw

by heather613 in

jw
friends

i was engaged to a man and was pregnant last year we lived in different states for awhile when he started studying jw without even telling me.

he lied to me about why he couldn't move with me and after 5 months he finally did then out of nowhere he went back to georgia and hid his relationship with a female jw needless to say they got married.

when i ofund out by calling around he told me it was for convience not love and that he would divorce her he was having alot of problems and didn't want to hurt me.

heather613

I really appreciate all of your advice and I have been reading every post I can find on here and other forums and sites. I will always put my son first no matter what. He is the only thing that is important to me now. Thanks again for all the advice and comments I will think about all my options and figure out what is best for me and my son.

40

Please help non jw in love with a studying jw

by heather613 in

jw
friends

i was engaged to a man and was pregnant last year we lived in different states for awhile when he started studying jw without even telling me.

he lied to me about why he couldn't move with me and after 5 months he finally did then out of nowhere he went back to georgia and hid his relationship with a female jw needless to say they got married.

when i ofund out by calling around he told me it was for convience not love and that he would divorce her he was having alot of problems and didn't want to hurt me.

heather613

I went to see along time best girl friend in michigan and we were living in georgia at the time. I found out I was pregnant when I was up there so we decided to move there, however he told me he got into some trouble dui and had court and probation and couldn't leave meanwhil he had been studying with another lady from his work and they would go out and go to the kingdom hall together. She is not baptised either. I had my suspisions when he finally came up by different comments he would make to me but I didn't have any proof I believe they were living together while I was in michigan in my house and he told her that he came to see me to get a divorce but I set her straight when I found her new cell phone number which I thought was his but he bought it for her after they were married. They are still married but she wants nothing to do with him and he says he loves me and never loved her that it was a place to stay while he was trying to get help finding god and becoming a better person for our son and me. I have stuck by him for so long we were like one person now I don't even feel like I know this new man. I am trying to be patient and understanding with him. they got married at a court house.

40

Please help non jw in love with a studying jw

by heather613 in

jw
friends

i was engaged to a man and was pregnant last year we lived in different states for awhile when he started studying jw without even telling me.

he lied to me about why he couldn't move with me and after 5 months he finally did then out of nowhere he went back to georgia and hid his relationship with a female jw needless to say they got married.

when i ofund out by calling around he told me it was for convience not love and that he would divorce her he was having alot of problems and didn't want to hurt me.

heather613

how can I get him to believe that I am not telling lies. I know very little about all this, but from all that I've read I know its not for me

40

Please help non jw in love with a studying jw

by heather613 in

jw
friends

i was engaged to a man and was pregnant last year we lived in different states for awhile when he started studying jw without even telling me.

he lied to me about why he couldn't move with me and after 5 months he finally did then out of nowhere he went back to georgia and hid his relationship with a female jw needless to say they got married.

when i ofund out by calling around he told me it was for convience not love and that he would divorce her he was having alot of problems and didn't want to hurt me.

heather613

thanks everybody

I know right now he has not been able to attend any meetings but still studys and is not yet baptized. I have asked him to read everything about this religion hoping that he will realize that we won't be together if he stays with it. I'm guessing the way that he was taught that he hasn't been told everything yet. He thought that he could marry this woman and just get a divorce and we could be happy now he doesn't know what to do he tells me that he has given him something to believe in and this has made him a better person.

40

Please help non jw in love with a studying jw

by heather613 in

jw
friends

i was engaged to a man and was pregnant last year we lived in different states for awhile when he started studying jw without even telling me.

he lied to me about why he couldn't move with me and after 5 months he finally did then out of nowhere he went back to georgia and hid his relationship with a female jw needless to say they got married.

when i ofund out by calling around he told me it was for convience not love and that he would divorce her he was having alot of problems and didn't want to hurt me.

heather613

I was engaged to a man and was pregnant last year we lived in different states for awhile when he started studying jw without even telling me. He lied to me about why he couldn't move with me and after 5 months he finally did then out of nowhere he went back to georgia and hid his relationship with a female jw needless to say they got married. When I ofund out by calling around he told me it was for convience not love and that he would divorce her he was having alot of problems and didn't want to hurt me. I forgave him, I had our son in october last year without his father instead his family was there none of them are jw either. I finally bought him a bus ticket to come be with me and his son he came december 24 . We had decieded he would divorce and that we would be together. Our plan was he would move to kentucky get a job and a house for us, and thats what he did but about a few days ago I started wondering if his faith would approve of us getting married or even living together since we already have a son together. I love him so much I don't want to lose him but I'm so afraid that his mistake marring this women won't allow him to remarry unless she cheats on him. They don't talk anymore since I told her the truth about me and him. I talked with the kingdom hall here and they told me as long as the divorce is a legal document and he writes a letter and goes before the brothers and attends regular meetings showing or proving his faith that we could get married. I have found all these rules that jw's must go by I'm not sure if they are all true but I have asked him about thenm and he keeps telling me to stop bad mouthing his religion, I'm not trying to I just want to know the truth. We use to be so close now I don't know what to do. We've been together for about 9 years it would be 10 but the whole year in another state. Even when I got him to come up we still respected his wishes he was completely faithful I've been told now that we aren't suppose to share the same bed well we did that but we had seperate covers and we weren' close anymore. I'm not sure if it was my mistrust in him or his beliefs. Can someone please help me I really do want to marry him so much like we had planned.