Posts by Imbue

32

Youths - How Will You Waste Your Life?

by Simon in

jw
friends

this was a bi-fold leaflet given out at the uk district conventions (and only available at the dc).

i guess the throw-away size stuff is handier to ... well, throw away).

edited by - simon on 11 july 2002 16:41:33.

Imbue

Zenpunk says:

I thought the WTS was downsizing....why are they still encouraging Bethel Service

Now, they want all the ones that didn't listen and went to college.

Zenpunk you are now be eligible for Bethel service with your degree.

21

...oh my head!

by dmouse in

jw
friends

...why is that clock ticking so loud, doesn't it know i have a king-sized hangover?.

ahem, i do apologize for that less than sober post yesterday.

you see i had been celebrating with my cohorts.. this was me yesterday afternoon, graduating with a ba (hons):.

Imbue

Congratulations!!!!!!

ahem...just stay away from the comp next time you celebrate.

53

I'm back!!!!!

by Jesus Christ in

jw
friends

jesus here.

i'm sure you've probably read a few books about me in the past or at least about my dad, god (or as everyone back home likes to call him "spanky").

this is just a quick note to say that dad and i are back home now.

Imbue

Jesus Christ it's time for your medication: Zyprexa 20 mg....

21

this board :)

by SpiderMonkey in

along the lines of joy's post on friends, i wanted to add my own 2 cents in praise of this board!

to put it all in a nutshell, i learned how to *drink* when i was at bethel, around late 89 to early 93. was disfellowshipped sometime just before thanksgiving 94, and have continued to be a heavy drinker ever since.

about a month & a half ago i discovered this board, and last sunday i quit drinking .

Imbue

Hey Spider

Congratulations! It's important to recognize when you have a problem with substance abuse. Rational recovery is possible but I suggest that you do some reading about alcohol abuse. Your not alone in you struggle with sobriety. You can learn from those that have traveled before you in this same journey.

Edited by - Imbue on 11 July 2002 22:51:20

22

Missing the Target for 125 Years!

by JanH in

jw
friends

missing the target for 125 years .

the organization that more than 5 million jehovah's witnesses believe to be "god's channel" of communication to mankind, is strangely also the organization with a monumental record of failed predictions.

after examining dozens of watch tower society (wts) predictions we failed to find a single one that was right.

Imbue

I observed a bethelite make this comment during a WT study: "There were some that put undue emphasis on the year 1975 but it was not instructed from the WT." He was a such a kiss a** and a true climber at Bethel. He wouldn't think of associating with someone that couldn't do something for his career at Bethel. This person thought he was spiritually superior but I didn't even believe he was Christian.

Jan, I really appreciate your observations and research ....Thanks for sharing!

31

Self esteem question (sorry, no boobs)

by safe4kids in

from what do you draw your self esteem, confidence, feelings of self worth etc.?.

over the years, i've drawn mine from being a good jw .

dana

Imbue

Dana I didn't want to hijack your thread with another topic. I wasn't going to post this but your thread encouraged me to post this writing exercise. You know what kind of writing exercise I'm referring...

Lyin Eyes post is directly associated with the topic of this writing.

You have to praise yourself, which is not easy when all your life you have been programmed to criticize every little minor flaw you may have.

http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=31876&site=3

Edited by - Imbue on 10 July 2002 22:47:54

5

Perfectionism is it controlling pain?

by Imbue in

i'm posting this writing exercise in response to dana's thread on self esteem.

http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=31816&site=3.

i have asked myself if perfectionism was a way for me to control criticism which is a source of pain.

Imbue

I'm posting this writing exercise in response to Dana's thread on self esteem.

http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=31816&site=3

I have asked myself if perfectionism was a way for me to control criticism which is a source of pain.

Perfectionism is it controlling pain?

Perfectionism is driven by the belief that if a person's behavior is perfect there will be no reason to be criticized and therefore no more causes of pain. However, perfectionism is a shame-based phenomenon because children learn that no matter what they do, it's not good enough. As a result, In their struggle to avoid pain, they constantly excel, to be the best.

Highly perfectionistic people are usually raised in a ridged environment. The rigidity may be in the form of unrealistic expectations that parents have for their children and for themselves. Also rigidity may be expressed as children feel the need to do things "right" in order to gain approval form their parents and lessen fears of rejection. Children perceive doing things "right" to mean there is no room for mistakes.

I've observed many ridged JWs parents in the congregations. The WT's social system seems to create or at least attract such families. It would break my heart to see parents correct their childrens answers to questions. When parents criticize their children and especially in public its painful for the children. Thus, they might become perfectionistic to avoid the pain of criticism. This type of criticism is an unhealthy shaming practice of many families. It seems to be common among JW families.

Perfectionist can never measure up because they always compare themselves with others. This inevitably leads to feeling lesser for the comparison. Its the primary way that people continue to create more shame for themselves. They continue to do to themselves from within what's been done form the outside. I have found that when comparing myself I always lose. Since comparison always results with my having a superior or lesser concept of self.

As an adult I've identified those areas where I once strived so hard for recognition, attention, and approval. I've come to understand that the lack of acceptance I felt is not about my self worth, but was a residue from those who judged and sought power over me by threatening to reject me. After I worked on my family issues it was apparent as to why I was attracted to the rigid and perfectionistic JW lifestyle. Our striving for recognition, attention and approval is a part of normal thought processes we all experience. However, the manner in which the WT criticizes the "flock" is an unhealthy shaming practice. This has brought about a level of perfectionism that is grossly unhealthy. At every meeting the JWs are continually reminded that all their striving for approval, recognition and attention is never good enough. I came to realize it was a comfortable environment for me because of my rigid Catholic upbringing. It was only when I became healthier with regard to my family issues that I could see the parallels of this reality.

Ive been asking myself if perfectionism was a way for me to control criticism, which is a source of pain. If I created a seemingly perfect life then noone could criticize me anymore. Since, criticism is a way of life for my family this may have been a real underlying objective of mine.

So it really doesnt help me when those raised in the troof criticize me for having been converted. You know who you are... LOL...

Edited by - Imbue on 10 July 2002 22:59:10

16

JANH TO PERISH TONIGHT!

by The_Bad_Seed in

jw
friends

tonight at the stroke of midnight*, the one who calls herself janh will be eaten alive; via an attack of a bag of savage, demonic, multi-colored kraft marshmallows that i have cast a powerful spell upon, for repeatedly accusing me in the chatroom yesterday of a bearing a multi identity on this site, as also being the one you have all come to know and love, father naeblis, the greek god of desire.. all i can do now, is hope to, and look forward to this much anticipated event!

tickets can be purchased directly through ticketmaster, or, given to you free of charge provided you do some sort of random act of kindness, without one, an event of such evil (albeit deserving) magnitude could very well throw off the balance of the earth.

transportation the responsibility of the attendee.. not responsible for lost or stolen socks.. in the words of my apparent 'alter ego':.