hey Dmac - i hope you stay a while and just look around - there's lots to see here, and you might learn a lot. if you are truly seeking answers, there's no harm in reading everyone's struggle...at least then you can make an informed decision. i wasn't given that opportunity. take care.
Incense_and_Peppermints
JoinedPosts by Incense_and_Peppermints
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109
Pathetic JW Web Site
by DevonMcBride in.
this guy needs a friend...and a life.
definitely a few fries short of a happy meal.. http://www.flyinhi.freeservers.com/.
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Eddie Izzard is a God!
by Wild_Thing ini can't be the only eddie izzard fan out there!
some of his bits: .
"here we go: don't do bad things, only do good things.
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Incense_and_Peppermints
apparently you have yet to discover the zen of Mitch Hedberg, comic genius...
My apartment is infested with koala bears. It's the cutest infestation ever. Way better than cockroaches. When I turn on the light, a bunch of koala bears scatter, but I don't want them to. I'm like, "Hey... Hold on fellows... Let me hold one of you, and feed you a leaf." Koala bears are so cute, why do they have to be so far away from me. We need to ship a few over, so I can hold one, and pat it on its head.
You know that Pepperidge Farm bread, that stuff is fancy. That stuff is wrapped twice. You open it, and then still ain't open. That's why I don't buy it, I don't need another step between me and toast.
This product that was on TV was available for four easy payments of $19.95. I would like a product that was available for three easy payments and one complicated payment. We can't tell you which payment it is, but one of these payments is going to be hard.
You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don't want to eat the fish, they just want to make it late for something.
I would imagine if you could understand Morse Code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy.
I went to the park and saw this kid flying a kite. The kid was really excited. I don't know why, that's what they're supposed to do. Now if he had had a chair on the other end of that string, I would have been impressed.
At my hotel room, my friend came over and asked to use the phone. I said "Certainly." He said "Do I need to dial 9?" I say "Yeah. Especially if it's in the number. You can try four and five back to back real quick."
I bought a doughnut and they gave me a receipt for the doughtnut... I don't need a receipt for the doughnut. I give you money and you give me the doughnut, end of transaction. We don't need to bring ink and paper into this. I can't imagine a scenario that I would have to prove that I bought a doughnut. To some skeptical friend, Don't even act like I didn't buy a doughnut, I've got the documentation right here... It's in my file at home. ...Under "D".
My friend was walking down the street and he said, "I hear music." As if there is any other way of taking it in. I tried to taste it, but it did not work.
A minibar is a machine that makes everything expensive. When I take something out of the minibar, I always fathom that I'll go and replace it before they check it off, but they make that stuff impossible to replace. I go to the store and ask, "Do you have coke in a glass harmonica? ...Do you have individually wrapped cashews?"
I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.
It's very dangerous to wave to people you don't know because what if they don't have hands? They'll think you're cocky.
Someone handed me a picture and said, "This is a picture of me when I was younger." Every picture of you is when you were younger. "...Here's a picture of me when I'm older." Where'd you get that camera man?
I want to be a race car passenger: just a guy who bugs the driver. "Say man, can I turn on the radio? You should slow down. Why do we gotta keep going in circles? Can I put my feet out the window? Man, you really like Tide..."
I don't own a cell phone or a pager. I just hang around everyone I know, all the time. If someone needs to get ahold of me they just say, "Mitch," and I say, "what" and turn my head slightly...
Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only one you can get yelled at for having. Goddamn it Otto, you are an alcoholic. Goddamn it Otto, you have Lupis... one of those two doesn't sound right.
I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, "You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit." As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.
I like cinnimon rolls, but I don't always have time to make a pan. That's why I wish they would sell cinnimon roll incense. After all I'd rather light a stick and have my roommate wake up with false hopes.
People teach their dogs to sit, it's a trick. I've been sitting my whole life, and a dog has never looked at me as though he thought I was tricky.
My friend said to me, "You know what I like? Mashed potatoes." I was like, "Dude, you have to give me time to guess. If you're going to quiz me you have to insert a pause."
An escalator can never break. It can only become stairs. You would never see an "Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order" sign, just "Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience."
I used to be a hot-tar roofer. Yeah, I remember that day...
I think foosball is a combination of soccer and shishkabobs.
That would be cool if you could eat a good food with a bad food and the good food would cover for the bad food when it got to your stomach. Like you could eat a carrot with an onion ring and they would travel down to your stomach, then they would get there, and the carrot would say, "It's cool, he's with me."
I have an underwater camera just in case I crash my car into a river, and at the last minute I see a photo opportunity of a fish that I have never seen.
I had a velco wallet in a casino. That sound annoyed the hell out of me. Whenever I lost money, and I opened the wallet, it was like the sound of my addiction.
Sometimes I fall asleep at night with my clothes on. I'm going to have all my clothes made out of blankets.
I wish I could play little league now. I'd be way better than before.
I had a bag of fritos, they were texas grilled fritos. These fritos had grill marks on them. They remind me of something, when we used to fire up the barbeque and throw down some fritos. I can still see my dad with the apron on, better flip that frito, dad, you know how I like mine.
I opened-up a yogurt, underneath the lid it said, "Please try again." because they were having a contest that I was unaware of. I thought maybe I opened the yogurt wrong. ...Or maybe Yoplait was trying to inspire me... "Come on Mitchell, don't give up!" An inspirational message from your friends at Yoplait, fruit on the bottom, hope on top.
The next time I move I hope I get a real easy phone number, something like 2222222. People will ask, "Mitch, how do I get a hold of you?" I'll say, "Just press two for a while, when I answer, you'll know that you've pressed two enough."
My lucky number is 4 billion, that doesn't come in real handy when your gambling. I'm gonna need some more dice, 4 billion divided by 6, at least.
A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.
You know they call corn-on-the-cob, "corn-on-the-cob", but that's how it comes out of the ground. They should just call it corn, and every other type of corn, corn-off-the-cob. It's not like if someone cut off my arm they would call it "Mitch", and then re-attached it, and call it "Mitch-all-together".
I like buying snacks from a vending machine because food is better when it falls. Sometimes at the grocery, I'll drop a candy bar so that it will achieve its maximum flavor potential.
I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. There's a large out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside.
I wrote my friend a letter with a highlighting pen, but he could not read it, he thought I was trying to show him certain parts of a piece of paper.
I use the word totally too much. I need to change it up and use a word that is different but has the same meaning. Mitch do you like submarine sandwhiches? All-encompassingly...
I think pickles are cucumbers that sold out. They sold their soul to the devil, and the devil is dill...
I got my hair highlighted, because I felt some strands were more important than others.
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Incense_and_Peppermints
Has Bush ordered Air Strikes in retaliation for the tsunami yet?
lol
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35
Benny Hinn - DO YOU BELIEVE IN MIRACLES?
by William Penwell injust watched a documentary about benny hinn ministry, i can't believe anyone is that gullible to believe this crap.
not only is he a fraud but he is also a crook, taking money from poor susceptible people.
he also sure likes to live the high life to.
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Incense_and_Peppermints
hmm... i guess those starving people in the Sudan got lost in the cosmic shuffle...
Praise the name of the Lord for He has done good things yet again. I requested prayer from you for a property deal, which has been under litigation the past four years. A neighbour claimed to have a share in our parent's property. Nothing worked out. Yesterday, as a result of God?s mercy and answer to prayer, the case was resolved out of court and everything is settled. Thank you again for your prayers. Shibu Kerala, India I was praying and believing God for a car, and I planted two separate seed-gifts into Benny Hinn Ministries, in faith. Last week, God blessed my family with not one, but two brand new cars. I am so grateful to God?to Him be the Glory. Marie Lake Grove, New York I asked for prayer from Benny Hinn Ministries, that I would be able to retrieve the money from travelers? cheques that had been stolen from me during a recent trip to another country. After agreeing with you and through the grace of God, I was contacted today and told that the entire amount would be returned to me. Thank you, everyone at Benny Hinn Ministries, for your prayers. Juvanka Sidney, Australia Recently, I submitted a prayer request to you for a financial breakthrough. For over a year, our house had a lien against it through a legal error. It was a tough year, not knowing if it would be corrected or not, but I kept holding onto the Word of God for strength. After the agreement in prayer with you, we petitioned the court to have the lien released. When we stepped into the courtroom, we felt such a presence of the Lord. Within a few moments after being there, the lawyer for the other side told the judge he was releasing the lien completely! God bless you for standing with us. Nadine Orlando, Florida I requested prayer for my daughter, concerning permanent employment at a banking instituition. Today, I am happy to report that God answers prayers. This is her first day at the exact bank she wanted to work at. I thank God for moving in such a mighty way. Palesa Johannesburg, South Africa Recently, I asked a Benny Hinn Ministries prayer partner to agree with me for a financial breakthrough. The very next day, I received a notification by mail that I would be receiving a check for $3000. I know there is power in prayer. Kristian Asheville, North Carolina I requested prayer for a job. I planted two separate seed-gifts for your special day of prayer and believed for a miracle. Today I got a call from the general manager of the company who had interviewed me here in India, and they told me that I was selected for the job. I know it happened because Jesus reserved this position for me, and your prayer of faith helped unlock it. I have been a Benny Hinn Ministries partner for two years, and we continue to love all you are doing here and around the world. Alan Bangalore, India All weekend God told me to put a check in the mail for the financial breakthrough offering. This morning before work I sat down and wrote out the check. When I got to work, I was asked to speak with my supervisor. I had applied for a better position. My supervisor told me the position was already filled, but wondered if I would consider transferring to another location where I would be making more than $15,000 more per year. I thank God for this financial breakthrough! Kimberley El Paso, Texas I planted a seed-gift for financial breakthrough, asking the Lord to deliver me from the fear of driving. The Lord provided me with a new car and has delivered me from that fear. I?m now driving back and forth to work with no problems. Elizabeth Plantation, Florida -
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Asian tragedy: not the "end of the world"...
by observador in... as i am sure some jws will spin it.
as i told my mother once, exagerating a little, they love when tragedies like these happen, as these seem to validate the beliefs they hold so dear.
as tragic and sad as these events in asia are, it's not any signs of times; it's a natural ocurrence that humankind has to learn and prepare to.
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Incense_and_Peppermints
I remember in the days right after 9/11, many JWs were in a "we told you so" pattern in their door to door work.
witnesses typically don't come around too much in my neighborhood. but the very next day (september 12th) they were out in droves . how opportunistic...
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WITNESS MENTALITY TOWARDS THE TSUNAMI DISASTER
by Mary ini feel like screaming right about now...........the dickhead who takes our bookstudy group just came over and said "...i wonder how many brothers and sisters died in the tsunami disater.
" while that's a natural concern, his next comment blew me away "....it figures that the media hasn't bothered mentioning jehovah's witnesses helping out in this disaster!
" i looked at him stunned for a minute and said "and why on earth would they mention jehovah's witnesses?
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109
Pathetic JW Web Site
by DevonMcBride in.
this guy needs a friend...and a life.
definitely a few fries short of a happy meal.. http://www.flyinhi.freeservers.com/.
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Incense_and_Peppermints
i felt sad looking at his photo album...
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what sin is facial hair supposed to lead to?
by little1 ini am curious as to why jws aren't allowed to have facial hair.
and why, then, was it okay for jesus?.
inquiring minds want to know.. l1
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Incense_and_Peppermints
Facial hair leads to beatnic-ness...
beatniks are cool, daddy-o...
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WITNESS MENTALITY TOWARDS THE TSUNAMI DISASTER
by Mary ini feel like screaming right about now...........the dickhead who takes our bookstudy group just came over and said "...i wonder how many brothers and sisters died in the tsunami disater.
" while that's a natural concern, his next comment blew me away "....it figures that the media hasn't bothered mentioning jehovah's witnesses helping out in this disaster!
" i looked at him stunned for a minute and said "and why on earth would they mention jehovah's witnesses?
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Incense_and_Peppermints
I know things about some prominent people in the congregation and de elders know that I know..........They don't want it coming out so I figure that's why they keep their distance and don't give me (too much) grief........it's nice to be able to hold stuff like this over their heads.
o0o, what kinda things? inquiring minds wanna know... -
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message to my new friend
by Incense_and_Peppermints in.
it appears as if the pm's are a tad sluggish today... on days like that, you can write to me at the address in my profile.
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