Posts by freddo

54

The Big Announcement..this week

by designs in

have you heard what the "big announcement" is to be this week.

supposedly the bethel homes will get some announcement today and the congregations will announce the new something by the end of the week..

freddo

Instructor:

"Welcome to the "thrilling" new Kingdom Evangelizers School!"

"This new and exciting school shows how the glorious chariot is moving forward at an ever increasing pace in these critical times! We now warmly welcome all you single sisters joining us for the first time!"

"Will all the single sisters please leave by the door to my right and assist in the kitchen as we will need lunch in about three hours, thank you."

"Married sisters are of course sanctified by their husbands and can stay in and listen quietly until this afternoon when they can join the single sisters on cleaning duties."

142

CO Disfellowshipped in UK

by konceptual99 in

jw
friends

so, i have it on very good authority that a co has recently been disfellowshipped in the uk.

he has just finished serving the north west london area.

i don't know any details but perhaps there is someone who does know what happened.

freddo

Drage didn't have to report him. Porter had already turned himself in to the Police in Somerset.

29

Most entertaining platform misdeed.

by Slidin Fast in

many years ago before assembly halls we used to hire large halls for circuit assemblies.

the public talk, always after lunch on the sunday was always the big (though boring) event.

the chairman sat on the stage all the time whilst the speaker for the hour long talk droned on.

freddo

District Convention in Cardiff UK in the 1980's.

During the sessons one of the assistants on the sound team bicycles out of the "tunnel" onto the running track in full view of ten thousand JWs, goes to a loudspeaker, dismounts and adjusts something - gets back on his bicycle and goes back!

29

More Elders than MS's For First Time in WT History

by FrankWTower in

have you heard the good news?.

i heard from a reliable source that for the first time in watchtower history, there are more elders now than ministerial servants.

this is not just a regional issue either, it's worldwide..

freddo

No Sir82 - he's describing my congregation!

"Can you fog a mirror?" ROFLMAO!

172

re-enforcing the shunning of immediate family - WT 7-15-11

by undercover in

july 15th wt study edition (regular dumb edition, not the dumber one).

god's rest - have you entered into it?.

subheading, when someone we love leaves jehovah.

freddo

God; I wish the Watchtower would crumble more quickly!

I draw comfort from the fact (I hope) that they are tightening the grip because they must be seeing people ignore them.

51

The strangest looking (and acting) nut jobs you have ever seen at the KH!

by new boy in

jw
friends

there are so many after after 52 years in the "borg".. my top two would have to be at my last hall tigard oregon.. one lady slept in her pickup truck with 30 parakeets, sometimes in the kh parking lot.

people tried to help her with accommodations but she like the truck.

she really dressed up for the meetings......feather boa's, big hats, looked like may west from the 30's.

freddo

Not a nutjob but a funny situation.

In the 1980's a blind guy in our area becomes a witness - nice "normal" chap, holds down a job and paid his way - and brings his guide dog (officially provided dog in the UK to help him get about). So he always sat at the front of the hall so there was space for his dog to lie at his feet.

Anyway this professionally trained dog which is so good and obedient just lay there and occasionally yawned (didn't we all?) or breathed heavily.

Circuit Overseer turns up and halfway through one of the evening talks the dog lets out this massive loud fart which went on for several seconds and the blind brother pipes up "Sorry brother, that's never happened before!"

The CO doesn't miss a beat and says "Oh it was the dog was it? - I thought it was Bro. _______ , your Presiding Overseer!"

Everyone in the hall collapsed laughing.

46

is this site dominated by americans and canadians ?

by the max in

im new to this forum, most topics up for discussion are usa centric, and thus for us euro,s are boring, like whats on your tv chanels, wtf, who cares what your watching on tv,i dont come here to listen to that, either promote something intresting, or shut the hell up .

freddo

This site was started by a Brit from Manchester who moved to Canada.

81

How Many JWs Have You known Who Have Commited Suicide?

by Was New Boy in

jw
friends

james olsen and richaed wheellock both bethelites.. rich templet.

rich and james out of guilt, richard out of depression.. james and rich were both under 30 years old.. after richard wheelock (a bethel heavy) killed himself the society changed it's stand on whether suicides could be resurrectioned or not..

freddo

In our cong - one

Oh plus one brought up by a deranged mother and who was abused as a kid by an older boy and who never got baptised but who was removed as "an approved associate" later in his teens (remember that phrase from pre 90's witnessdom?) who got into drugs and booze and later took an overdose - accidental officially but makes me go hmmmmmmm?

And another who never got baptised but whose deranged mother (yes another one) dragged up around the truth and who became a prostitute first.

There is a certain kind of susceptible person that the truth does not help. (understatement)

Also knew of a serious attempt at it but thankfully failed.

23

What % of your Congregation is Pioneering in April?

by Open mind in

our family is part of the 32% unappreciative spiritual loser class.

not regular or auxiliary.. .

our congo has 51% aux pioneering in april.. .

freddo

Yeah 50% here - I expect they'll read em out this Thursday at the announcements (if they remember - oh of course they will cuz for once the hotshot elders are doing it and will want their names read out) - yawn.

My forecast for the January 2012 km:

Can you Auxilliary Pioneer this Memorial Season? (10 mins Q&A To be handled by overzealous elder with great freeness of speech)

1. After the bounteous thrilling spiritual blessing from Jehovah last memorial month the FDS (tm) (Matt 24 v 45-47) are offering the same privilege this memorial and as it is so close to the turn of the month between March and April you can choose which month to do your 30 hours in! How thrilled we are at this wonderful opportunity to zealously join in this great shout of praise.

Q) Why are we thrilled?

2. One elderly sister who we will call Martha aged 103 who auxilliary pioneered last year said "I was so excited at this thrilling opportunity to have one last thrilling opportunity to auxilliary pioneer that I zealously took the opportunity to join the ranks of pioneers. It wasn't easy, being in an oxygen tent an'all but four strong ministerial servants carried me to all the householders so that I could join in this thrilling opportunity! I am so pleased that although I may never see Armageddon (I've only been waiting 60 years, God is not slow etc ...) that I have had this thrilling opportunity to join in this great shout of praise!" If Martha can do it then how about you you slacker?

Q A) Why was Martha thrilled? B) Can you Auxilliary Pioneer, you slackers?

3. Damien* who has no arms or legs and who is encased in an Iron Lung signs using American Eyelid Language - his carers are a willing source of thrilling opportunity for Damien to witness. We should not infer that Damien was winking at the pretty nurse but understand that he was innocently offering the thrilling opportunity of everlasting life to her.

*Name has not been changed

Q) Why was Damien thrilled?

4. Let us consider our circumstances and see if we can join in this thrilling opportunity and be thrilled at having the great privilege to bear witness in Memorial Season 2012! If you cannot manage 30 hours what can you do - you faithless and useless bloodguilty slave!?

Q) What should we do to be thrilled and therefore not be bloodguilty and a subject of Gehenna?

Or sumpin' like that!

20

Regular Pioneers: How low will the WT go?

by Alfred in

so i just came across an article in the watchtower (december 1, 1959 page 726) where it mentions that pioneers (or should i say culportuers?

) in the 1930s had to put in a minimum of 150 hoursper month in field circus with the phonograph (i'm guessing the record being played was rutherford's "millions" speech).

i have to wonder how many pioneers the wt would actually have nowadays if this were still the minimum monthly quota and if they'd still have to stand on a street corner with some sort of audio system... in today's economy, i really don't think they'll find much more than 2 potential candidates per circuit... which is obviously the reason that the gb keeps lowering the bar... .

freddo

There will be mega hoopla afterwards about Jah's blessing with this new loving provision of 30 hrs. How a zillion new auxiliary pioneers joined up. It will be repeated next year in Memorial month.

I just hope they get off their backsides and reduce the wt study to 30 mins or even 45 mins would help. But they won't because they never have to sit through it. The one meeting bonus for the CO's and DO's is that they only have a 30 min paragraphs not read wt study.