Wow, what a load to put upon your daughter's shoulders. It is so sad how witnesses are so brainwashed and say things like that and they feel so justified. Sorry you have to deal with that. I second supervised visits!
meangirl
JoinedPosts by meangirl
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31
My mom to my daughter: "BD party might be fun but it will make Jah sad"
by SweetBabyCheezits inwe've allow a little freedom for my jw mom to visit our daughter at lunch at the school since we're df'd now.
um, because we're idiots, maybe.
so my daughter tells me this evening that she was chatting with mom at lunch today and mentioned a birthday party she's attending this weekend.
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48
Bible refers to women as "the weaker vessel" - you know why?
by sabastious inbecause it's a self fullfilling prophecy!.
if you keep women couped up and force them to have only limited contact with the outside world they are going to appear sheltered and unlearned.
therefore when these oppressed women do things that are unlearned or immature all the men go "well they are the weaker vessel.".
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meangirl
When I got married 15 yrs ago in a Kingdom Hall my brother walked me down the aisle just cuz I didn't want to walk by myself but he did not give me away! My father-in-law actually gave the marriage talk and I made sure to tell him to pronounce us "HUSBAND AND WIFE" AND NOT "MAN AND WIFE".....that one really pisses me off too. Yeah I don't get how grown women let their fathers give then away......so demeaning. Even if I was close to my dad I never would've allowed him to "give me away" but he is a sorry no good for nothing dead beat dad who was a self alcoholic growing up so I don't even have to worry about that! Anyways, one of my favorite lines from a song are Gwen Stefanie's "I'm just a girl" and in it she says "this world is forcing me to hold your hand" and "what I succumbed to is making me numb."..........So true. It is a shame that religion is one of the main ways women are held down and what is sad is that is how people in general want it to be including women. I remember one time during a watchtower study on marriage a sister raised her hand and said"Men think. Wome feel." Everybody was nodding their heads and I glared at her. My blood was boiling.
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Proper Arrangement for Providing Links to Shepherding the Flock book.
by RubaDub inas a reminder, non-believers and sisters should not be binding nor providing links to download the new book.
this should only be done by brothers.. rub a dub.
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meangirl
It's okay I ALWAYS wear a head covering when posting on this forum. I have a coffee filter on my head, I truly want to show the utmost respect. Also I asked my husband's permission before I posted on this forum and he has graciously allowed me to do so. I love the freedom he allows me in my "wifely subjection"
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48
Bible refers to women as "the weaker vessel" - you know why?
by sabastious inbecause it's a self fullfilling prophecy!.
if you keep women couped up and force them to have only limited contact with the outside world they are going to appear sheltered and unlearned.
therefore when these oppressed women do things that are unlearned or immature all the men go "well they are the weaker vessel.".
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meangirl
Oh and wanted to say excellent post Clarity!
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Bible refers to women as "the weaker vessel" - you know why?
by sabastious inbecause it's a self fullfilling prophecy!.
if you keep women couped up and force them to have only limited contact with the outside world they are going to appear sheltered and unlearned.
therefore when these oppressed women do things that are unlearned or immature all the men go "well they are the weaker vessel.".
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meangirl
Dysfunction I mean no disrespect but do you realize you just stereotyped what men are good at and what women are good at? I think that to move forward the stereotyping needs to stop. We are all individuals. Some women hate taking care of kids (me included) and would rather work outside the home while some men enjoy taking care of kids. There is nothing wrong either way. Also remember men compliment women and women compliment men. We are two EQUAL halves who when put together make a whole. Also I don't take a backseat when it comes to ideas and do not feel the need to play silly games such as that. I am who I am. Why are women expected to take a backseat anyway? Just saying.....again mean no disrespect.
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"That Letter" about sisters not allowed to spiral-bind the new elders manual
by freddo inyou know, the one from the usa branch/brooklyn.. well i ventured a question to a relative who is an elder here in the uk to see if a similar letter had been sent to elders here.
he knows i was an elder and he lets me joke with him to a certain level about how controlling the society is lately.. he confirmed that one has been received and he laughed because it says you can use a d-ring binder (which i guess is the equal uk term for the us "spiral bound" as long as you don't let worldly people do it and that you have to watch the brother do it.).
i asked whether sisters were allowed to do it and he said even the society wouldn't go that far and smiled.. sooooooo .... i am wondering if this uk letter has had the "sister" stuff pulled because it is such an embarrassment?.
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meangirl
Reminds me when I watched Clan of the Cave Bear and how the women were not allowed to touch weapons as they believed the weapons would loose power......so maybe if a sister touches the sacred elder janitor handbook it will loose its "power" or maybe the elders become impotent if a sister gets a hold of THE SACRED BOOK...........
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Bible refers to women as "the weaker vessel" - you know why?
by sabastious inbecause it's a self fullfilling prophecy!.
if you keep women couped up and force them to have only limited contact with the outside world they are going to appear sheltered and unlearned.
therefore when these oppressed women do things that are unlearned or immature all the men go "well they are the weaker vessel.".
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meangirl
Awesome thread and so many great points! I am a woman and I don't understand how some women really believe the weaker vessel bullsh*t and not only tolerate being treated like sh*t but think that is normal......
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first christmas
by serein inso its my first and im feeling uncomfortable, i want to go ahead and do it,.
all the trimmings everything but i havnt done it in 20 years and it still feels weird,.
anyone else ever had this prob when they first left jws,.
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meangirl
Me too!!!! I am soooo excited! I haven't celebrated Christmas for 23 years!!!! This will be my daughter's (who is 10) first Christmas ever!!! My husband is not going to participate. Even though he has not been to a meeting in three years Christmas is something he is not comfortable with right now. I respect that. Just as I don't want to be forced into NOT celebrating Christmas I will not force him TO celebrate it. I discussed it with my daughter and asked her how she felt about it and she liked the idea. We are going to decorate a small tree with a Disney theme and then I am going to go buy her some presents. I am planning on making homemade ornamets and basically it will be a bunch of craft projects for her and I to do together. I am leaving the religious aspect out as I do not feel comfortable with that. I am also thinking about me and her volunteering to help feed the homeless or something like that on Christmas day as well. I plan on making an awesome dinner on that day too.
Here is my reasoning. I gave a baby shower for a sister when I was an active witness. FOr the centerpiece I actually spray painted some tree branches white and put them in a vase. Then I hung silver baby spoons, forks, etc. with ribbon from the branches and it was beautiful. I had so much fun doing that. I knew that I was not worshipping that centerpiece when I did that. To me it will be the same with the tree this year. Just something fun to do with my daughter. Honestly, I think hubby will come around as time goes on. He is a born in and I know it is difficult for him. But hey we celebrated birthdays now and heck we were at the mall this past Saturday night and the mall started handing out candy for Halloween and I told my daughter to go get some candy. He had fun looking at all the costumes too. Even though my daughter was not dressed up she still had fun getting the candy.
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Email I sent to mom after huge fight today
by meangirl inwell my mom and i got into a pretty bad argument today over the phone.
it basically came down to the fact that she couldn't handle what i was saying about the organization, etc and all she could come back to me was that i "hated her?
" i guess i just wanted to share and vent a little too....thanks for letting me do so.. .
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meangirl
Debator it would be great if all witness parents were sure to have parties for the kids and give gifts, however, sadly alot don't. I think I did because I grew up going to a birthday party almost every weekend and of course getting gifts on my birthday and Christmas. When I had my daughter (who was not planned because me and hubby were the perfect little witness couple who pioneered together for the first 2 years of our marriage and were putting off children until the "new system") I made sure to make her life as "normal" as possible. She had a party every year and she received wrapped presents on our anniversary. We just basically made our anniversary like Christmas for our family. However, while throwing my "themed" kid parties the society did come out with an article warning against theme parties and my witness pioneer mother-in-law did mention that to me and the need to be "careful" as she had been in my hall previously and knew how they were. I was always waiting to get counseled for throwing my little parties but I think the only thing that saved me was that at that same time an elder and his annoited wife had family move in and they were helping to raise their nephews and neices who were around my daughter's age. So because their nephews and neices were benefiting from my "themed" parties (gasp) I never got in trouble.....I know that is the only thing that saved me from getting in trouble.
Debator I have a very good friend who is my age and she came to help out during one of my parties and she said how great it was that I was throwing the kid parties. She confided in me while raised as a witness she never went to a kid party and never dressed up in a costume. I thought that was so sad. I can see where many witness children grow up gong to "get togethers" at a park where everybody brings a covered dish, etc but that is not the same as a kid party with balloons, goody bags, a cake and kid games. A party where everything is geared towards the kids. My husband only had one kid party in his whole life growing up as a witness.
Also Debator there are things in my life I will probably never do that the bible clearly shows are wrong. I will not argue with the Bible but I will take issue with 12 men in Brooklyn who claim to be God's only channel on earth today who are making decisions about my life. If I choose to celebrate my daughter's birthday then that is MY decision and I should not be punished for it. If I choose to celebrate mother's day and father's day then again that is MY decision. I saw what happened with my mom when she allowed other people to think for her and the negative impact it had on me. I will not continue that way. My daughter's has attended a birthday party this year. My daughter is going to school dances. She made me a mother's day present in class and all those things have felt great. With that being the case we are not disfellowshipped but inactive. So you tell me Debator if we choose to go to a Sunday meeting next week how will be treated? Will will be pulled into the backroom? All these man made rules are ridiculous and there is no freedom to make one own's decision with our own conscious. Sounds like a cult to me.....
The trauma that was done to me when my mother became a witness is something I have to live with everyday. The trauma of being out in service and hearing my friend whose dad was an elder pick out houses they were going to live in after Armageddon when the inhabits were dead. I remember clearly being very new and being out in service and everybody in the car was picking out the biggest and nicest houses in a neighborhood we were working in and saying that was the house they were going to get after Armageddon......That is disgusting and so unchristian. I could write a book about my experience and I know what I went through is true. Debator deep down you know what I am saying is true......I understand your defensiveness, we've all been there. Just remeber you are claiming to be a witness for Jehovah and you need to remember to show compassion in your posts. Just because you didn't experience something does not mean it didn't happen......
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Email I sent to mom after huge fight today
by meangirl inwell my mom and i got into a pretty bad argument today over the phone.
it basically came down to the fact that she couldn't handle what i was saying about the organization, etc and all she could come back to me was that i "hated her?
" i guess i just wanted to share and vent a little too....thanks for letting me do so.. .
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meangirl
Wow I was surprised to see my post is active. Thanks for all the replies everybody.
Debator,
Of course parents will raise their children as to their belief system. I get that. What I don't get is the fact that my life changed so dramatically overnight. Literally in the 7th grade I was a cheerleader, had good friends, an honor student and very happy. That summer my mom had studied and gotten baptized. Then with no warning holidays snatched away, my birthday, cheerleading, all my friends gone. My father was not baptized and so this was all my mom's doing. So is that normal? Is it also normal to take a 13 year old who had never been to church maybe twice in her whole life and force her then to attend meetings three times a week and also not only to be in the car out in field service but smile. If I didn't smile my mom would pull me aside and say stuff like if you don't straighten up and smile I am going to give you something to really be unhappy about, etc. Instead she should have showed me God's wonderful qualities and that He is a God of Joy who wants his people to be happy. To force these unscriptural man made rules down my throat and force to completely change my life was not fair at all. I never had a choice. Debator you are ignorant and don't know what you are talking about. You are probably a pathetic looser pioneer who comes on here to count time. I know you. I have seen your kind before. You are a Pharisee who thrives on rules and regulations and have no fellow feeling. In other words you are going to make the perfect elder one day and that is why you are such a great pioneer right now!