Posts by whathehadas

44

That's it......

by whathehadas in

this might be my last post.

i've had quite a few things on my mind over the past few years, mainly my belief in god.

i've tried to move on from the jw past but that's really being foolish.

I take “normal” as being a average person with every day problems. I do know that there are crazy people out here. Some even crazier than the witnesses. I do think that with making friends after having a past in the Borg. You should be open and honest about it. I don't have to tell them everything but letting them know a little of the background can make me more comfortable in future situations around them. I think it's hard to ignore it after recently leaving. That's my whole issue right now. The JW have made me what I am today.

@problemaddict I'm in the U.S, in California

44

That's it......

by whathehadas in

this might be my last post.

i've had quite a few things on my mind over the past few years, mainly my belief in god.

i've tried to move on from the jw past but that's really being foolish.

whathehadas

I appreciate all the advice and kind words. I've been really depressed these last few months. I have thought about suicide off and on. The death of Robin Williams has really kept that on my mind. Gladly, I'm too scared to end my life and I do want to see what another day will bring. I would hate for the JW to think that I couldn't take being away from the WT. That's why I will continue to fight on with my struggles. It would be nice to talk to some of you and hear your voice. Someone on here that lives near me, had DM their number to talk. I never called them and it's been a little over a year ago. Shame on me. I try to make friends but it would be easier to get to know ones that have had similar experiences to mine.

44

That's it......

by whathehadas in

this might be my last post.

i've had quite a few things on my mind over the past few years, mainly my belief in god.

i've tried to move on from the jw past but that's really being foolish.

whathehadas

Most people do find me likeable as a nice guy. I just find it hard to connect to other people because of the lack of "real world" experiences. I'll take some forms of therapy into consideration.

44

That's it......

by whathehadas in

this might be my last post.

i've had quite a few things on my mind over the past few years, mainly my belief in god.

i've tried to move on from the jw past but that's really being foolish.

whathehadas

@finally awake ugh I probably do. It might make me feel more weirder than I already do. That's the thing that makes me uncomfortable about that

44

That's it......

by whathehadas in

this might be my last post.

i've had quite a few things on my mind over the past few years, mainly my belief in god.

i've tried to move on from the jw past but that's really being foolish.

whathehadas

This might be my last post. I don't really know though. I've had quite a few things on my mind over the past few years, mainly my belief in God. I've tried to move on from the JW past but that's really being foolish. 26yrs of my life from birth inside a cult. That can't be erased unfortunately. Many on here have been in that thing longer than me and have a hard time moving on. I've tried to be a normal guy and make friends with normal people. Part of that is true but I'm not normal. I've realized that and I'm facing that reality. I'm trying to heal. Maybe I need some therapy but I don't have the time or energy to deal with that. I barely feel like writing this shit. Funny, I look at my friends and co-workers and I envy their "normal" lives. Even though they have problems of their own. It's hard for them to relate to feeling like a Ex-Jw, because I've told them about the life and they're shocked by the ridiculous beliefs. This is the shit that gets to me with making new friends that are not Ex-Jw. I would really like to be normal and blend in the crowd, so to speak, but I can't do it with the black cloud of my past over my head. I burn with anger......sometimes over that damn religion. I don't think about my experience in it all the time but thinking of how other people have had their lives damaged by that religion. I try to socialize with some of the friends I've made but this JW shit keeps coming up. It's the past that can't stay away! I CAN'T be normal....when I've haven't had any normal experiences for most of my life. I don't know folks. This recovery is harder than I thought.

13

What was YOUR First Worldly Experience?

by Yondaime in

while i was in florida during the spring visiting my oldest sister.

i had the time of my life with my brother in law.. you see my sister married a non-believer and my parents viewed him as the scum of the earth, so i was terrified to ever talk to him.

turns out he's one of the coolest people i have ever met.

whathehadas

Always had them when I was around my older brothers who left the Borg in their early years. It felt good to have some freedom while being around them. That is looking at R rated movies and talking about politics and dirty jokes. Felt guilty afterwards though, when I went back around the JWs.

74

Robin Williams passes

by designs in

don't know quite what to say.

just stunned at the news.

comic genius and actor.. share your favorite robin williams moments.. .

whathehadas

I remember seeing him in the movie, “What Dreams May Come”. It was the first dramatic film I seen of his. In the movie he dies due to accident and he goes to heaven. His wife commits suicide later because of the grief from his death. I remember seeing this and I told one of the brothers in my Congo at the time. He was like, “You seen that Hellfire movie". I didn't think of the movie so much as religious at the time. It was a emotional film to me. Robin will be missed.

robin