This might be my last post. I don't really know though. I've had quite a few things on my mind over the past few years, mainly my belief in God. I've tried to move on from the JW past but that's really being foolish. 26yrs of my life from birth inside a cult. That can't be erased unfortunately. Many on here have been in that thing longer than me and have a hard time moving on. I've tried to be a normal guy and make friends with normal people. Part of that is true but I'm not normal. I've realized that and I'm facing that reality. I'm trying to heal. Maybe I need some therapy but I don't have the time or energy to deal with that. I barely feel like writing this shit. Funny, I look at my friends and co-workers and I envy their "normal" lives. Even though they have problems of their own. It's hard for them to relate to feeling like a Ex-Jw, because I've told them about the life and they're shocked by the ridiculous beliefs. This is the shit that gets to me with making new friends that are not Ex-Jw. I would really like to be normal and blend in the crowd, so to speak, but I can't do it with the black cloud of my past over my head. I burn with anger......sometimes over that damn religion. I don't think about my experience in it all the time but thinking of how other people have had their lives damaged by that religion. I try to socialize with some of the friends I've made but this JW shit keeps coming up. It's the past that can't stay away! I CAN'T be normal....when I've haven't had any normal experiences for most of my life. I don't know folks. This recovery is harder than I thought.
That's it......
by whathehadas 44 Replies latest jw experiences
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finally awake
Hang in there! You sound like you need professional help, and you should make it a priority no matter how unmotivated you feel. Getting over the cult craziness is a tough battle, but you can do it.
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Finkelstein
It takes time to find yourself after a high controlling cult defines and tells you who you are .
There's a lot of stupid nonsense in the world, I just try to stay away from as much as it as I can , this includes certain people.
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whathehadas
@finally awake ugh I probably do. It might make me feel more weirder than I already do. That's the thing that makes me uncomfortable about that
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happy@last
I don't think it'll make you feel more weird, it should help get things into perspective for you. Don't worry, I'm sure a lot of us experience the same anger and frustrations at times over the hold they had, other people have difficulties to deal with too.
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LoisLane looking for Superman
Between flip flop doctrines and an abusive ex, I thought LoisLane was losing her marbles. lol
After a divorce, and therapy, I am happy to say my marbles are just fine. and
Anyone involved in WT/JW.org has been abused and needs help. There is no shame or embarrassment in that.
We all want you to succeed. Post like you are doing tonight and tell us what is on your mind and what is happening to you. Okay???
You need time to metamorphose into the beautiful butterfly, all of us, are. Let us help.
LL
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Mum
If you don't feel comfortable with getting professional help at this time, you should read some self-help books, such as Steve Hassan's Combatting Cult Mind Control. When I first exited, I did not speak of having been a JW for many years because I didn't want to talk about it.My personal recommendation for a self-help book to get you started and in a non-cult frame of mind is Your Erroneous Zones by Dr. Wayne Dyer. It helped me immensely.
Don't give up on yourself. You're the person you have to live with no matter what. Don't expect things to smooth out too quickly. It takes time, Be patient with yourself.
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Dis-Member
Why where is it exactly that your going? Back to meetinigs?
Hi Whatthehades, seeing the truth about the truth is one thing, leaving and stepping away is another thing.. clearing ones head is the real big one. The alternative which is living a life that you know not to be real or true and no longer believe in is the biggest and hardest thing of all and I'd say more damaging than anything you could ever possibly do to yourself.Clearing this stuff from my head has been going on years now for me and I'm still not quite done and I was not even born in! Hang in there.
This helped me..
Don Cameron's 'Captives of a Concept'
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NAVYTOWN
Sorry to hear about your troubles with 'fitting in' and 'trying to be normal'. I felt exactly like that YEARS before I ever associated with the JWs. Luckily for me, it was the WITNESSES who seemed to live the most abnormal lives. Don't give up hope. You are very likely a lot more 'normal' than you might think you are. I think most non-Witnesses won't be all that bothered that you were a Witness. No need to tell them all the gory details, but just be upfront about your past. You will find that most people will find you very likeable, and won't see you as being 'weird' for having been a JW. My personal advice to you is to find a good group therapy where the people accept you just as you are and will allow you to discuss all your concerns. I have been in several therapy groups and I always feel very accepted by the other people. This will give you practice in being around non-judgmental people and allow your 'normal' persona to come out more fully. Most psychologists can steer you toward such a group. Please look into it. Best of luck to you.
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whathehadas
Most people do find me likeable as a nice guy. I just find it hard to connect to other people because of the lack of "real world" experiences. I'll take some forms of therapy into consideration.