Don't any of you forum dorks, (you know who you are again) remember back in the day when you were young and inexperienced with girls, how you would want sooo bad to get somehting going with one, but were too chicken? It's kinda like that. Plus the situation is compunded by the 'all seeing eyes' that never seem to sleep.
I think Spike wants to talk, and express his interest in her but keeps himself in check for many reasons.
Boysone is right, you can do what your heart tells you and NOT a bunch of Bethel ass kissers who are trying to police your every move.
Is there anyone, and I mean ANYONE you can trust in that congregation you can talk to to see if maybe a liason can be formed first with her by a third party...just to see where her head is at? It would really suck if you climbed over your proverbial wall just to find she is not in the least interested in a relationship like you'd want her to be. Test the waters. Seek out a good friend. If she is not interested in a man/woman relationship, then, then we'll go from there.