Posts by looking4peace

10

How to Keep Nosy JW Relatives at Bay

by Open mind in

jw
friends

my family is in the process of reaching out to establish friendships outside the jw religion.

at some point we will likely be ready to fade into total jw inactivity.

when we do that there will inevitably be numerous well-intentioned attempts to snatch us from the jaws of satan.

looking4peace

Thankfully for me, I have avoided most one-on-one interaction so that I haven't had to defend myself as of yet, but I have practiced it in my head a lot of times. If the conversation is such that probing questions are being asked about why I am inactive by people who I fairly recently had intimate friendship with (so I know their questions are sincerely an effort to reach out to me) I plan to tell them how much I adore them and how much I appreciate that their questions are out of sincere interest in helping me, but that I don't want to discuss my spirituality with anyone. I am hoping that even if I have to just repeat that phrase a few times, followed by redirecting the conversation to another topic, it will keep me from saying something I might regret. I don't want to hurt anyone anymore than my fade does hurt them and I don't want to say anything that will cause me to be placed in a category by the friends my comments might be shared with. If I give any reason for my inactivity, I'll either be labeled as depressed, discouraged, stumbled, apostate, faithless, etc., and I don't want to give them anything to repeat that would plug me into one of those labels. I also want to be careful to avoid saying anything that communicates that I want helped out of my slump or that if they care they will continue to reach out to help me. I don't want to give them the impression that on another day, I would feel like talking about it. It is a tricky issue. I play it out in my head a lot. Hope it goes well for you O.M.

L4P

52

Facebook condemned

by straightshooter in

my wife told me that at the last meeting, the elders announced that youngsters going to the skateboarding park were no longer to have any privileges in the congregation.

this is to prevent jw youngs to be rounded up if a drug raid was made at the skateboarding park.. also because of individuals requesting that they be friends on facebook that contain bad pictures, that anyone with a facebook account will automatically have their privileges removed.. sounds like the pharasees protecting the people by adding additional traditions upon them.. .

looking4peace

This has to be a very localized thing because every day I see JW friends' recent activity showing that they are now friends with even more JWs. Some of them are in the circuit and district work too, so it can't be a Watchtower mandate. Instead of cutting back, it seems that the active JWs are getting more involved with Facebook.

35

The phrase "The Truth"

by lepermessiah in

jw
friends

so, i am curious..... how many of you have a hard time getting that phrase out of your vocabulary?.

i have been conscienciously trying not to use it at all, so now when i am in a conversation with a jw, its amazing how often they use that phrase.

i look back and wonder "god, did i say that that often?

looking4peace

I catch myself saying "the truth" when referring to whether or not a relative or acquaintance is still active as one of Jehovah's Witnesses and it frustrates me and makes me back up every time. Hopefully it won't take me much longer to purge that term from my vocabulary.

L4P

28

It's Been A While...

by tall penguin in

jw
friends

two years i think.

life has been moving forward for me post-jw.

i just wanted to share a really great thing that happened recently to me.

looking4peace

Beautiful retelling of a beautiful moment. Thank you for sharing!

L4P

16

For all dog owners....One happy dog!

by restrangled in

jw
friends

i have resisted buying a dog bed, just because they are too expensive.

i can slap together some old blankets, sheets etc., and pile them up, and the old boy will happily lay down on them.. today at sams wholesale, i found a bed for $29.00 with a zipper so i can wash the cover.

it was a monster to get into the car, stuff in the back seat, and it obstructed all vision.

looking4peace

I love buying my dog toys and gifts. He is so excited and happy with things I bring home for him. Those $29 Sams and Costco beds are as good or better than the pet store versions that sell for up to $300! It's crazy. Dogs definitely leave their blanket and pillow to snuggle on their own fluffy, comfy bed. Money well spent for sure!

6

Finding Normality, Common Ground & Community

by dh in

jw
friends

hi,.

it's been a long time since i posted on here, but i find myself at a point in life where the input of others who've been through a similar experience would be nice to hear.. i'm 32 years old, was born in the jw and left when i was 18, so it's fair to say the bulk of my adult life has been spent out, but the bulk of my adult life i have been pretty much working, and i'm often told i am a 'workaholic'.

i suppose now looking back in perspective, i have always kept myself very occupied with work, surface friends and surface experiences, but never really allowed anyone or anything in any deeper.. now i look at it an identify that there are some massive barriers still up, and i have developed a person who is successful in real life in terms of whatever real life percieves as doing ok, but is deep down completely isolated from other people 'like me' if that makes sense.. i do not believe in the idea of god, or religion in general, i've always said it is just a crutch and a control mechanism, but it brings me to the thought of how i feel right now, that i have lacked for most of my life anyone to share common ground with, common views and community etc, and that most people turn to their church for that, but for a person such as myself, there is no such place.. it doesn't make me want to go anywhere near a church or reconsider anything but it does make me think sometimes that it would be nice to have an alternative, with real life interaction and sharing of ideas, i miss that in my life, and i think because of how i am wired and how my experience has been, it is becoming a negative thing, and is probably the beginnings of the path to implosion.. anyways, would be interested to hear if anyone has had a similar experience.. dh.

looking4peace

dh,

One idea that comes to mind is to find a "cause" that you do believe in and to reach out to meet people who believe in that same cause so you have a basis for connection. Are you fired up about the environment? Volunteer for some type of clean up effort and meet people who are also dedicated to making a difference in that area. Are you concerned about poverty? Volunteer at a homeless shelter and meet the people who work to better the circumstances of those less fortunate. There are websites that show volunteer opportunities in various locales. Look up those in your area and see if you connect with any of the ideals behind them. Reaching out to a group that is trying to make a difference in the world (apart from religion) might just give you the sense of community you are craving. That is what I am starting to do. I have connected with some women's groups and am meeting some fascinating people that share some of my concerns and ambitions.

Meetup.com is a really cool resource for starting a group or for connecting with a group that is involved in things that mean something to you. It is a networking site that connects people for social reasons based on a common interest like hiking or for causes. It's pretty cool just to browse the groups and check for meetings you might want to pop in on. For me, work doesn't always provide the resource for social relationships that are as close as I wanted, so I am still looking for ways apart from work to meet new and interesting people.

I am a new fader and have found it a very lonely process. I can't put much energy into relationships that I know are short lived once my fade is complete, so I am just now starting to build a network of associates outside the congregation. It takes some time and a lot of effort, but I am really enjoying the connections that I am making. All the best to you!

L4P

17

Is Jehovah's Witnesses a religion of confusion?

by asilentone in

looking4peace

"Can't accept blood but allowed to accept blood fractions. Cannot donate blood but allowed to accept blood fractions that come only from blood. Able to take medicines made with blood but cannot donate blood to help hospitals make this medicine. Cannot store blood for surgeries but are allowed to have blood pump around outside your body and back in during surgery"

Well stated! (God forbid the tubing come loose during the procedure...now you've broken God's law while you were unconscious because the circuit was broken! What a crock!) This issue is one that really started bothering me about a year ago and was the straw that broke the camel's back for me. Either blood is sacred and should only be poured out on the ground to Jehovah or it isn't. Picking and choosing how it can be used and whose can be used under what circumstance based on nothing in the Bible but just because the GB said so and might say something else next week was just too much for me. It was over the top. Couldn't deal with it. Over and out.

~l4p

38

Husbands/Wives, Do you share passwords for each other's email account?

by asilentone in

just wondering.

.

looking4peace

I have willingly given my passcode to my husband and he has given me his, but honestly, I didn't write it down and only got it for one specific purpose when he needed me to log in for him. I don't remember his specific e-mail passcode and it makes me no difference. I have no intention of ever checking his e-mail account. It seems a huge invasion of privacy.

110

According to bookstudy, it's ok to beat wife.....occassionally

by JWinprotest in

jw
friends

i apologize if this has been mentioned, but i don't have the time to come on here as often.

yesterday's bookstudy on divorce got my shorts in a bit of a knot.

apparently, according to the god's love book, a wife could consider legal separation from her husband if she is physically abused, but (get this) only in the case of extreme physical abuse, and if the wife's life is in danger.

looking4peace

This is precisely the very point that infuriated me and started my realization that JWs are not teaching the truth. Such an idea could not at all come from a loving God and anyone who grew up around abuse or has experienced it personally is not willing to accept such a ridiculous notion. It is disgusting and evil. That is putting it mildly in my opinion. I cannot even begin to relate how upset it makes me to know some will view this as a requirement for life because the "faithful slave" said so. It puts me over the edge.

110

According to bookstudy, it's ok to beat wife.....occassionally

by JWinprotest in

jw
friends

i apologize if this has been mentioned, but i don't have the time to come on here as often.

yesterday's bookstudy on divorce got my shorts in a bit of a knot.

apparently, according to the god's love book, a wife could consider legal separation from her husband if she is physically abused, but (get this) only in the case of extreme physical abuse, and if the wife's life is in danger.