I agree with black sheep, to be careful what to say, otherwise holes in the argument are quickly spotted and the whole thing may crash.
Current policy regarding dfd ones is:
1) not related, if you continue having contact, despite (repeated) warning, you get yourself a JC with eventual dfd (happened in a case I personally know)
2) close relative not in the same household, no sanctions, if contact remains private (not being promoted), but no privileges in congo (and you will be considered weak by others, who know about it)
3) close relative living at home, privileges of servants may be reviewed, otherwise no sanctions. Strong advice, not to associate spirtually .
Still the argument of the Bethel speaker regarding the mother, shunning her son, being a private matter is deceiving. Granted, she is not threatend with dfd, if she would have contact, hwoever, there is lots of literatur, that stress the point, how more important loyalty to jehovah is than to a family member. The stance of the society is clear: To remain faithful you should (have to) shun dfd ones, whether they are related or not. Otherwise you loose relationship to God and endanger your eternal outlook. Mindcontrol at its best.