freewilly01

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Posts by freewilly01

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  10

  Why am I Renouncing My JW Faith...Part 3

  by tjlibre in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  describing your personality in writing is a challenging task.

  they say that body language represents 85% of our communication, obviously you cant see my face as i give this account.

  the following might probably make me sound like a prideful person, but ill like to say that im far from that.

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  freewilly01

  sent you a PM
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  11

  Panic attacks + "You had another nightmare last night": Part 2

  by sd-7 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  ever since i got married and had to return to cult activities to keep peace in my home, i've been having panic attacks.

  i think i'm having panic attacks.

  ... anyone else go through panic attacks?

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  freewilly01

  What helped me with Panic Attacks was a Psychiatrist who used cognitive therapy, therapy that deals with the hear and now. This kind of help doesn't dig into your past but just deals with the here and now. I was able to get immediate help without any prescriptive drugs. It took quite a bit of therapy didn't happen overnight but was very beneficial..

  My first panic attack was when I was 16 and I din't get therapy till in my 30's............ years of attacks while in the BorgOrg. Can't believe I put up with it over all those years was amazing to conquer it and quite a relief.

  I really feel that it is a result of an inner turmoil of unresolved issues that you feel you have no control over. The feeling is very similair to being lost as a young person.

  Some people are just hard wired for this and it tends to run in families. It is the fight or flight reaction on steroids for some of us. It really helps to be able to recognize the triggers. For me the largest trigger was being part of the BorgOrg that was half my problem. I really understand where your at it takes quite a bit of effort but the result will be totally worth it. Good luck!
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  16

  Richard Dawkins forum

  by zoiks in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  are there any posters here who also read and/or post on the forums at richard-dawkins.net?

  it seems as though a large number of xjws post there.

  there are some really good and thought provoking points made, from a slightly different perspective.. just wondering!.

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  freewilly01

  Just reading the God Delusion very meaty reading, love his perspective that being an Atheist is a very honorable thing. Considering how many people have been affected negatively by religion.

  I particularly like his view on children that there is no such thing as Muslim children or Christian children, they are way too young to decide where they stand on religion...................I know that's one of the reasons I left. I just couldn't stomach manipulating a little mind like I had to it just felt wrong!

  Proud to say at this time that I am Atheist................ how about U?

  P.S. You read my mind I was going to post a similair Post........ interested in the replies
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  18

  Is 'truth' a red herring?

  by bulgogiboy in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  this is a question for all, but especially ex-jws who may have transferred their piety over to another religion, and come to believe in another faith:.

  is 'truth' regarding the meaning of life something that can ever realistically be obtained by human beings?

  what is your idea of what 'truth' is?

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  freewilly01

  The bible is a book of parables not to be taken literally hardly ever..........how can that be truth?

  I really enjoyed the latest National Geographic special on the Genome and Evolution and some of the breakthroughs. I compared some of the findings of Darwin and some of the latest scientific findings of genes and the evolutionary switches they contain.... really a mind blower check it out!

  The deeper we dig the more complex, one thing for sure it has taken millions and millions of years to get to this point.

  If there is a God its not a"small" god that is all bichy and judgemental but something larger I think I am becoming more Panthetic the more I ponder and research.

  I have been way to naive in this life and naivety is ignorance.
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  20

  Why Would Someone Like me Leave the "Truth"? Part 2

  by cantleave in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  as stated in part 1 the latter part of the 1980s and 1990s were very good for my wife and i. we are doing well spiritually and both had good jobs.

  our increasing income allowed us to move at a relatively young age to a nice area.

  we wanted to stay in our old congregation but i was told as an appointed man i should support the congregation in my new territory.. this new congregation had a completely different feel about it to our old one.

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  freewilly01

  In my ex cong we had some of the most influential and wealthiest elders in North America who influenced the CO and bought them trips to Hawaii on a regular basis. They would never stay with anyone else in the congregation I think it was because he had the best wine and stocked bar! Its not the HOLY SPIRIT that appoints elders its POLITICS in the local congregation...........

  Why would someone like you leave the truth? maybe cause you can see through the veneer, fakness of performance.

  I remember moving back totally broken financially from a move to where the need was greater and being told by an elder who just didnt plain like me that "if you think your going to be appointed as an elder in this congregation you have another thing comming!" HOLY SPIRIT in action!
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  161

  What Are You Reading?

  by zoiks in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  ok, here's my current list:.

  i just finished the greatest show on earth by richard dawkins, and am almost finished crisis of conscience by...some guy.. currently in hand, i have:.

  the power of myth, joseph campbell and bill moyers.

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  freewilly01

  The God Delusion

  Richard Dawkins
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  27

  JW's a RELIGION based on PERFORMANCE! How dangerous is that???

  by freewilly01 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have come to realize that this religion is based almost solely on performance and that is the most dangerous.. i always felt that as a person or jw (while an active witness)that i was always just as good as my last assignment, comment at the watchtower meeting, feild service report.. this left me with a huge identity crisis in the borgorg......... i really didn't know who the hell i was?.

  did any of you feel similair?

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  freewilly01

  I have come to realize that this religion is based almost solely on Performance and that is the most dangerous.

  I always felt that as a person or JW (while an active witness)that I was always just as good as my last assignment, comment at the Watchtower meeting, feild service report.

  This left me with a huge identity crisis in the BorgOrg......... I really didn't know who the hell I was?

  Did any of you feel similair?
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  25

  Faded 10 years ago, now considering DA'ing!

  by NutFlush in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  long-time occasional lurker, first-time poster.

  cliffs notes version: i'm thinking of da'ing in order to shake my family up a bit, even though i haven't been involved with jws in more than 10 years.

  longer version: i was raised as a jw but never got baptized.

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  freewilly01

  From reading your post it seems that you are really pissed off by the negative influence that the BorgOrg had on yourself and your family over all those years. I honestly feel the same with a similair story, without the college education glad you had the perception to pursue that.

  Is your motivation out of revenge? or well intentioned and purposeful? I have to admit that there are times when I feel exactly the same. I have even ponderd the thought of plackarding at the summer assemblies with a sign that reads.......................JW'S A DANGEROUS RELIGION THAT RUINS FAMILIES CONTROLS MINDS .....BREAK FREE ASK ME HOW! (so I got it bad also)

  What helps me to get those feelings under control is to put myself in their shoes , If I was still in what would I still think?Probably that I wouldn't give a damn about what you said personally of if you were DA'd.

  Its also a no win situation, a one in a million how did we ever get into this situation with the whole BorgOrg, I guess we can thank our parents for their really bad decision making. When we are away long enough and are older we really appreciate how much family really does mean , so I guess what I am getting at is that a little disfunctional family contact with our members who are braindead is better than none at all (in most cases). The main fact is that we show our integrity to those who are close to us and that we are honest about why we left.... make sense?
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  7

  Attended a funeral for a JW

  by Shepherd Book in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  a friend of mine ended his life two weeks ago.

  hadn't actually talked to him in years, as we lived over an hour from each other and, since i'm an ex-jw, i assumed he wouldn't want to talk to me anyway.

  his mom called to tell me the sad news and to give me the time and location of the visitation, which i thought was a very kind thing to do considering she knows my 'status'.. anyway, on the way out of the funeral home, i came face-to-face with an elder from my former hall.

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  freewilly01

  I just consider that it way too much hassle to be at funerals. I look at it as my being there actually distracts from the importance of the one who has passed . Hey look there is so and so psst psst. Witness funerals are always geared toward more converts and hardly about the person anyways . Its just more respectful not to show.
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  29

  Is there a way of saying to my family....

  by wobble in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  is there a way of saying tactfully to my superdub family that we do not want anniversary presents this year ?.

  our 39th is on saturday the 12th and my wife says that as the family only have the minimum to do with us since our fade she feels it is the height of hypocrisy to buy us presents.. she also does not like my super-smug sister (who does ?

  ) who will come to our place bearing gifts we do not want from persons who will not entertain our point of view.. i cannot think of away that is kind, to get out of this, heeelllpppppp !!!!!!!!!!.

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  freewilly01

  I agree with you it is totally fake etc. They don't deserve a huge explanation and things have changed in a large way now that our (our) eyes are opened!

  A suggestion:

  BTW were just not into the gift thing this year (with kindness ) ................that way you state how you feel and don't have that sellout mentality or that your being at their whim or will.

  Then if they still give gifts accept them what the hell!