It finally got to the point that I realized if we were going to stay married we were going to have a very superficial relationship. This is exactly what happened. We grew further and further apart although we remained married for several more years. Finally I couldn't stand it anymore and ended the marriage.
Well, I hope you're not actually me from the future. But this definitely sounds like a possible future for me, though I suppose I had a chance at ending it and just couldn't keep my finger on the button. It's not easy to be close with a person with the belief systems being so opposed to each other. It does often feel like you're pretending all the time. From jokes and personal opinions on the news or what you read, all of it becomes impossible to be open about.
It can be really hard to feel unable to tell your spouse everything. It actually reminds me of a discussion my wife and I were having a couple of days ago, about how Hitler was able to do what he did. What was it that made these folks turn off their conscience? I asked her. I was telling her about that movie 'The Wave' where the teacher does a social experiment on dictatorship. It got to a point where she didn't want to talk about it. I wondered if cognitive dissonance was at play there, too. In this case, for once, I was careful to avoid involving religion in any way, but the point was there in a subtle way. (Sneaky wolf-like kidnapper apostate that I am, I've got to be subtle! )
But it's interesting to see people telling stories like this. How come I crashed and burned so badly? Oh, right. Kurtbethel's sage advice to me nearly 4 years ago was foolishly ignored:
One important bit of advice. Stay away from those melodramatic women or those whose life is a train wreck. It will bring you way down.
...Wow, was he ever right...
--sd-7