Giving details about the marital problems and whining about how awful one's wife is - I understand that you fell, like most of us regretfully do, that oneself is the centre of the entire Universe, but these intimate whinings - why don't you DO something in stead of sounding like a selfish little spoilt child.
Actually, I do not believe I am the centre of the entire Universe. I'm just a man who is interested in fair and equal treatment in his life. And sometimes, there are those of us who, particularly lacking in people to talk to about issues, turn to, well, computer people who display characteristics of the original apostate, Satan the Devil, to bounce ideas off of them. Doing something is usually the end result of a thought process, at least in important decisions. So strictly speaking, I am doing something.
If I was a selfish, spoiled child, I would've thrown her out sometime ago instead of wanting to find a way to make it work. That's what a person interested only in himself would do. I sure as cuss wouldn't be wasting time doing diddly for her if I was as selfish as you imply. Frankly, I wondered if I was, but it's just hard to reconcile with reality.
I'm seeing a lot of conflicting advice here, and I think probably I've crossed the line once more into the real of 'too much information'. So...I'm thankful most of the responses have been extremely helpful. I'm not going crazy, after all, there is something wrong here and it's not just me. Which begs the question, if everybody said, yeah, you are selfish, sd-7, would I be as thankful? No, I'd be sad to think I was right in feeling guilty.
I don't believe in backing out of the situation--what I plan to do is find ways to properly establish and defend my boundaries in the relationship, if it's possible. That in itself will bring it to a head one way or the other, I think.
Leaving her would be the quick and easy path. But I volunteered for this because it looked insanely impossible. If I quit because of that, I'll be going against my vow and my duty and the love I held onto for 5 years and still hold onto.
I want to apologize again for talking about these things here. I'm still lacking close friends on the outside, but I'm working on building connections a little at a time. I'll try harder to keep such matters off the Internet and inside my head, where they belong.
Sorry again. Take care.
