Posts by greenie

32

Your views of the headship

by greenie in

i've heard a little about this business, but i'm curious as to what you all think about it.

jw and exjw women - do you/did you believe it and abide by it?

jw and exjw men - do you still believe it?

Lady Lee, this is the exact kind of thinking that is funny to me: "He is taught that it is his responsibility to instruct the children spiritually and bring them up as JWs which rules out holidays and birthdays and after school activities and most sports. The beliefs of the wife if she is not a JW will be ignored. The WT teachings are the only ones that will be followed in the home."

Maybe on JW island that would work. But the vast majority of humans on Earth wouldn't abide by that, myself included. I have no idea how a JW man would plan to actually be able to enforce any of that with someone who wasn't a JW woman.

21

Don't want to celebrate holidays even with my daughter...

by cognac in

jw
friends

i feel like its so much work, stressful, commercialized and since i never formed the habit of it i hate the idea of celebrating them.

i wouldn't mind buying presents for my daughter on christmas and maybe doing a treasure hunt for halloween (i don't want her taking candy from even my neighbors) and things like that so she doesn't feel left out or like she's missing something.

just something easy and informal...

greenie

I agree with what most have been saying, and this is coming from a non-JW who has celebrated holidays my whole life. Holidays and celebrations are only as commercial as you let them be. We never had much money growing up, so all of our gifts were VERY well thought out for the person we bought them for on Christmas and birthdays. On Thanksgiving and Christmas, a big thing also was getting all the family together. Most of my very warm memories involve the kitchen. So many good smells and yummy things being cooked. You could totally start your own traditions, letting your daughter bake/cook with you, etc. If you've never made a gingerbread man, or even a gingerbread house, it could be a fun adventure for both of you.

And I could not agree more with what BlueCanary said: "We would tell people that we could give presents at any time of year, but we never did." I NEVER see my Dub or his family give each other gifts. Just once a year on the parents' anniversary. Boy, that once-a-year thing sounds a lot like how everyone else celebrates holidays and birthdays.

32

Your views of the headship

by greenie in

i've heard a little about this business, but i'm curious as to what you all think about it.

jw and exjw women - do you/did you believe it and abide by it?

jw and exjw men - do you still believe it?

greenie

So interesting! It's just hard for me to read the scriptures, understand the "speak" they're written in, and glean historical context from them. I know that it's there, it's just very hard for me to decipher. Sometimes I feel like Paul sounds like a mean old man, then others, it seems like he is actually giving very specific instructions to a very specific group of people.

I'm told the bible will never contradict itself. First, I don't know if that's true, but then, if it is, I don't understand how in Galatians they say in Christ everyone is equal, yet in 1 Corinthians, they talk about the headship and who is under whom. That would appear to be a contradiction to me, until you explained it so. Do you have some examples of where he is stating their practices and NOT giving instructions for how Christians are to behave? And is there somewhere that the letter Paul is responding to is available?

Thanks for all this fantastic information.

32

Your views of the headship

by greenie in

i've heard a little about this business, but i'm curious as to what you all think about it.

jw and exjw women - do you/did you believe it and abide by it?

jw and exjw men - do you still believe it?

greenie

Thanks for all the information everyone!

Joseph, sorry to be dense, but what exactly do you mean? Do you mean that Paul didn't mean all the things he wrote to the Corinthians? I'm really not a bible scholar and get lost in all the verses, etc. sometime. Can you explain in laymans terms? And how do you figure all this out? Is there a good history book on the bible? Thanks much!!

31

the first christmas...need help

by highdose in

jw
friends

hey everyone,.

i've decided for the first time in my life to celebrate christmas this year, just like everyone else around here.

trouble is i have no idea how to begin!

greenie

Put up some decor! Doesn't have to be Christmas trees if you don't want, tho I love them, but there are lots of options. Go to Barnes & Noble and look up decorating ideas in their magazines. If you like to cook, you can also try some Christmas season recipes, like gingerbread men. Yum! Find people to exchange gifts with. Maybe with some friends? You could all draw names. You could also take on a charity project. I know I've bought gifts for a child whose family couldn't afford them one year, served in a soup kitchen another year, etc. You could also go to some of the Christmas movies that always come out this time of year. Or, heck, go to the mall and take your first pic with Santa!!

32

Your views of the headship

by greenie in

i've heard a little about this business, but i'm curious as to what you all think about it.

jw and exjw women - do you/did you believe it and abide by it?

jw and exjw men - do you still believe it?

greenie

PM'd you Wobble! Would love to know!

Thanks for all your comments. It just surprised me how many said: "No! Don't marry him! Then you'll be under his headship!" That was just a funny assumption to me.

32

Your views of the headship

by greenie in

i've heard a little about this business, but i'm curious as to what you all think about it.

jw and exjw women - do you/did you believe it and abide by it?

jw and exjw men - do you still believe it?

greenie

Mr. Jones sounds fantastic!

15

So what sacrifices did you make for da troof? Any regrets?

by hamsterbait in

a few years ago at the ca, there were experiences about what people had given up to serve jehovah.. (sidebar - in every instance where i personally knew those on the platform, the experiences were lies or at best half truths embroidered with lies.).

anyway - the interviewer was constantly saying " as a <insert profession> you could have earned <insert salary>".

what annoyed me was that somebody who gave up a full time job cleaning toilets for jehovah, and took a part time job cleaning toilets was not even invited to participate.. hb.

greenie

I was thinking about that the other day. What's the rate of white collar people giving up everything for Jehovah? Does the WTS attract people from a similiar background? I know growing up well into early adulthood I had never even really heard of JWs, and certainly not the WTS. Sometimes I really do think back and wonder if any of the kids I went to school with were Dubs. I can't remember a single one.

32

Your views of the headship

by greenie in

i've heard a little about this business, but i'm curious as to what you all think about it.

jw and exjw women - do you/did you believe it and abide by it?

jw and exjw men - do you still believe it?

greenie

I've heard a little about this business, but I'm curious as to what you all think about it. JW and exJW women - do you/did you believe it and abide by it? JW and exJW men - do you still believe it? How do you practice it? I personally don't put much credence in it...I prefer Galatians 3:28. I guess I've been thinking on here because a lot of people, despite being exJWs seem to have a knee-jerk reaction to this idea when I talk about my situation. They said I, the nonJW woman, should expect if I marry a JW man, to be under his headship. That's what he'll expect and that the elders will even come by to talk to me about it.

I don't know if I'm explaining myself effectively, but do any of you get how BIZARRE a concept that is to me? That just because the WTS teaches some headship rule (and I know other religions do as well) and that elders might even come by to talk about it, that I will be inclined to listen to them when I neither believe in the WTS' teachings on that or in the authority of some elder? Those are their rules, not mine! I guess I might equate it to someone from another country expecting you to follow the laws of their country, instead of your own. THEM: "Hey! The speed limit is 55 in Austria! You have to drive 50!" ME: "Well, that's great for you, but I'm not a citizen of Austria, and I can't drive 55!" =)

Am I missing something?

Ok, thoughts welcome!

2

untitled

by iknowall558 in

jw
friends

i need some help /advice.......think i'm finally starting to go crazy..... .

within a year...we've come out of org and lost all our friends...... we get shunned by all along with family members .... we have moved house....... and my youngest son ,7yrs, had to be taken out of his school because he couldn't cope with the shunning of me and his dad....... and recently i lost my husband, and my kids have lost their dad....he walked out on us 6weeks ago.. my friends....fellow apostates, have been invaluable to me and have been there from the word go.....i love them all so much... but lately, after doing so well and coping admirably considering.........he texted me tonight to say that ....some of my friends "have more than one face and would have me believe they only have my best interests at heart all of the time.

" and "if i only knew what the people i call friends really are..".

greenie

Hey there! Easy, breathe! You'll be ok.

Don't listen to your husband. Follow the golden rule of actions speak louder than words. Your friends have been very supportive, likely they actually ARE very supportive. If it is eating at you, then find a kind way to ask them about it. You are going through A LOT of stressors right now, and if you aren't already using a professional counselor right now, I would get one. They are totally unbiased and a great sounding board for the things that come up in stressful periods.