djp:
Thank you so much for your support, I really do appreciate it. Going through your posts:
| ...I was rejected by a JW woman who claimed she would never marry outside of her faith. |
She did you a favor, trust me. Now you can find someone who shares your beliefs and more of your outlook in life. I know this is cold comfort for your right now but she did the right thing for both her sake and especially yours.
| Yep, yep, yep, she's not doing you a favor by staying married to you. You're not below her dignity because you don't happen to believe the things she believes. So, don't let the Society or your wife impose that kind of thinking on you. Don't let them brainwash you. |
For years, I was letting them brainwash me because I want to be respected by her and her people (witnesses). I was hoping that I would be able to have a good relationship with them and still keep my Christian beliefs as well. It became apparent to me that as long as I was an 'outsider' that they would never accept me as a real Christian. As you know, JW's are not like Presbyterians, Methodists, or even Catholics in that if I had announced that I was a Baptist, they would be okay with it and still consider me a Christian. At the time, I was even beginning to think that maybe they did have the truth and I fell into a crisis because I found that I was lost at that point.
Anyway, to make a long story short, I felt that maybe I should become a witness but after researching them I found that at best, they were no better than christendom in spite of their attacks on christendom. At worst they are just wrong and I know that their claim to being the only 'true' religion is just one big fallacy.
| What's implied is that you're not. |
That was the impression I got too and unfortunately I was not feeling very comfortable in my own skin and I wasn't sure about my personal beliefs nor was I sure about my marraige.
| You and I know that the thought may have crossed your mind that you don't need to be going through all this kind of trouble. Yet, there you are. |
Not only did it cross my mind (especially in the low points of our marraige) but I also had my family telling me to get out. During our worst years, I remember actually telling her that I wanted a divorce and later apologizing for it. Not exactly a way to build up a marraige, so there is plenty of blame to go around.
| The JW legalism does that to people. Unless I get it wrong, if you place so many magazines, are out on field service, do comment in meetings, and obey everything they tell you, then you're a fine fellow. It doesn't matter if you dont' really believe in any of that or if you have your skeletons in your closet; appearances is what matters. |
Yep, whitewashing the coffins, cleaning the outsides of the cups. Jesus warned us of people like these when He said the same thing concerning the Phariseah. But as you know, it is found amongst some of the Christians too, especially in a legalistic church. The church I attend is anything but . As I said before, I'd rather go to church with a bunch of 'crazies' who are friendly and love serving the Lord than with a bunch of people who are only about appearances and are concerned about their 'associations.'
| If she's that uncomfortable with the marriage, well, you can ask her why the hell she married you. |
I have asked her that and asked her why she married me when deep down she really wanted a witness. She was going through her 'rebellious' phase when she met me and as she said it, I was "as clean and as moral as a typical witness, but into some of the worldly things like parties, holidays, etc.." During our lowest moments I remember saying that if things did not work out, I hope you find that perfect witness man that you seek.
| "You married me out of your free will. Stop the bashing, or then divorce me" |
I recal how she use to hold the whole "I am going to leave you if you don't support me in this" thing over my head. One day, I finally got fed up with it and finally told her, "If you life is that miserable because of me, bye!" I never heard her utter those words to me since.
| I feel that Gary has been hurt. He has been told that he's less than the ideal mate because he happens not to follow the organization, and so he asks the question whether JW men are good at all anyways. |
Oh I was hurt when she said that, but as I said to KidKool, I was a bit insecure about our marraige and a little less sure of myself and my beliefs. Five years of WT theology had that affect on my beliefs. Thank God for the Internet.
Thanks again for your kind words of support. Other than you ex-girlfriend, are you still involved in any way with the witnesses?
