Are Jehovah's Witness men good catches?

by garyneal 77 Replies latest social relationships

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  garyneal

  I've stated this before on this message board but I was kind of curious about this and wanted to get some feedback from the group. In particular, the ladies who are either current or former JW's.

  About a year or so ago, my wife went with me to a church I was attending at the time. We then later that morning attended a KH meeting. Then she and I had lunch with her sister. While we were there, her sister began complaining about her boyfriend (now ex) and why he gets on her nerves and doesn't bring in a great deal of money due to his past felony convictions. She said that he would insist on her cleaning up the house and she would complain about how that now (the baby is about 5 months old now) that she is pregnant, she would be better off without him.

  She then said that if she could find her ideal man, it would most likely be a Jehovah's Witness man. My wife promptly agreed that such a man would be the ideal man to marry. Of course, I was obviously hurt by that remark since I was not such a man. Now I wonder if she does not compare what her life is now to what her life would've been like if she had married a Jehovah's Witness. I was so upset and hurt by it that I insisted that she and I have a nice long talk about it later that day, which we did. All she kept saying was that I do not understand what it is like to be a Jehovah's Witness man and she could not express what such a man is like.

  Now all I knew about them at the time was that they tried to follow the Bible as close as possible. But I did not see the difference between that and a Christian man. My wife and I have certainly had our differences in the past over issues not relating to religion and I guess she was beginning to feel like the grass was greener on the side of being a full fledge witness family unit.

  Anyway, fast forward to a few months ago when I began researching the witnesses and I finally realized (and told my wife) that whatever these JW men were, I did not want to be one and preferred to be a true Christian man instead. I'm sure there are a lot of wonderful men inside the witness religion but some of the stories I've heard have certainly tarnished their image. Now, to be fair, there are abusers in other religions and even non-religious men can be abusers.

  So my question to the ladies is this: Have you while you were still in (or those who are currently still in) thought that the best thing that would've happened to you was for you to hitch up with a JW man? For those who married 'worldly' men, did you secretly wish he could become a Jehovah's Witness man? Or when things weren't going well in your marraige to your 'worldly' man, did you believe that things would've been better had you have married a Jehovah's Witness man?

  Just wondering...
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  highdose

  hell no! marrying a jw man is a ticket to slow self esteam and bullying for the rest of your life!
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  garyneal

  Oh, and let me say this in case you are wondering. My wife and I did go through some rough patches and I would be lying if I said that I never thought that things might have been better if I had chosen differently. Perhaps marrying a Christian woman or at least dating and marrying a chick that I use to hang out with in my past.

  Never-the-less, when I had my 'wake up call' this past summer and went through my confusion period, I realized some truths.

  1. The witnesses do not hold a monopoly on the 'truth.' In fact, given their practices, they don't seem to hold the truth in high esteem if it contradicts their teachings.
  2. Even if I had married a Christian woman or some girl I hung out with in the past, there is no guarantee that things would've been any better.
  3. In spite of our differences, I still love my wife and I think that the best thing for us is to continue to work things out.
  4. I had to finally accept that she will never view me as a 'believer in God.' Her religion forbids that and I have come to terms with it as I think it is simply 'group think' that makes her this way.
  5. She may never accept the truth about the 'truth' and I must accept that and love her anyway.
  6. Even though holidays are special to me, I understand that she may not feel the same way. Therefore, I am trying to be mindful of her feelings and of her beliefs and am trying to accomodate them while simultaneously not allowing my daughter to miss out on them unless she chooses not to participate.

  Reading a lot of the stories on freeminds.org also enables me to understand her better. Personally, I think she wants to break free from this religion but feels like it is the best religion and closest to the truth. She truly feels like that if she decides to want to do what she wants (holidays, birthdays, etc) and tell her book study elder that she is not interested in becoming a witness, she would just be 'signing her own death warrant.' She actually told me this one time.
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  freedomisntfree

  In my experince jw men are self centered and conceited a gf or wife is largely a status symbol and another way to further there "theocratic goals" or they want sex.The very good witness men i have known have been older and just plan goodhearted. They would have been with or without being witnesses but as for the bad ones there bs was tolerated by witnesses where as it wouldnt be in the outside world for the most part
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  truthseekeriam

  Okay I got a good one Maybe because although raised a JW by his mother... his father never was and insisted on him attending college and being a good man by example. Love his dad.
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  garyneal

  They would have been with or without being witnesses but as for the bad ones there bs was tolerated by witnesses where as it wouldnt be in the outside world for the most part

  This was kind of the impression that I was getting from some of the testimonies from the females here and on freeminds.org who either were or are currently involved with witness men.

  The comment you made about the goodhearted witness also makes sense. It would seem that goodheartedness is a trait from within and was already there with or without the religion. A far cry from what the WT teaches though.
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  garyneal

  Truth seeker, so it sounds like a good man had a good father. I can certainly agree with that and illustrates why good fathers are so important.
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  asilentone

  NO! especially if he is brain dead dub like most JW men are, unfortunately, that is what brainwashing does to them.
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  wha happened?

  JW men have no idea how to communicate. I remember one sister appraoching me and practically begged me to start a school for JW men who want to talk to women. I wasn't a JW until I was 25 so I had a shot at social skills.

  JW men also think they are on a higher rung than women. Their opinion will always trump.

  The bedroom will be boring because there is a long list of no-no's in the bedroom.

  Oh and be prepared to endure suck up dinners. Your husband sucking up to the body and spending evenings with people that u can't stand.

  Be prepared to wipe the CO's shit-stains off your husband's head. After all, who needs paper when u have suck-ups?
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  OUTLAW

  I`ve never met a JW Man or Woman..

  At best they are really Old Children..

  LOL!!..

  ...................... ...OUTLAW