Hi just human 14. I was a quite fortunate to see your post just now as Intriged by all the changes happening at the moment etc. Yes, the reason it took so long was I had been reproved in my old hall and had just moved to another area hence to a new hall. My wife and I were having martial problems at the time. My heart wasn't in the truth at that time and I was attending the hall for about 4 months. I was told I needed to attend ALL meetings at that time is 2002. That included the group study. It was that that put me off as I was not allowed to answer up which was really embarrassing. So I gave up after 4 months (faded) as couldn't stand it anymore plus the fact my wife an I weren't getting along at the time. We get along fine now BTW. I then discovered things on line with the age of the internet. I came across this site which led me to crises of conscience which I came across in the city library. That book had a huge impact on me and most certainly changed my whole outlook of the society. About 2004 I made a half hearted effort to return again having to suffer the embarrass ment of attending the group without being able to answer. I lasted about 4 months again. In 2006, I made another attempt to go back, this time I lasted 6 months. After 6 months I went up to an elder who was quite old in years and ASKED him if I would be able to answer up yet. He gave me a remarkable answer which I still remember to this day. He said whilst shaking his head with a you must be joking smirk on his face 'nah, nah no'. That answer just about knocked me over. I lasted about another 3 weeks and was seething with anger at the way these so called loving shepherds treat people who clearly were trying to get back into the fold....yet like to watch people stew. At that point I just gave up. I also decided to write a letter to the PO as to why I didn't want to go back. I mentioned a number of things in the letter that I didn't agree with such as Christ's mediatorship, the blood issue etc and said I wanted to read up on other faiths as felt I had rushed into the JWs etc. The PO came to my home, and discussed the letter. He said the door would always be open and left things at that. I was quite surprised he didn't call a JC to be honest. Anyway In 2007 I was diagnosed with a serious illness which made me think alot about things. I began reading the nkjv of the bible and read it all the way through within a year and a half, underlining and marking everything. At that point I truly felt my spirituality coming back again. In 2009, I made a decisive move to go back to the meetings and thankfully I wouldn't have to sit through the group study as they were done a way with which was a God send. I gave the PO a heartfelt letter telling him I was genuine and sincere in returning and that I would accept the help of the elders. As can be seen by my previous post, they left me stewing for well over a year. Not one elder EVER asked how I was doing spiritually. It was as if they wanted or at least expected me to go away. Over that period of time, I felt nothing but despair and genuine hurt at these men. Every time they were on the platform talking about love and how we should reach out to those who need help, I felt like shouting hypocrites! As per previous post, my old PO got me back on track and shortly after decided to take perimeno' s advice to move to a different hall. Perimeno's advice was absolutely spot on. This brother helped me keep focused. You should check out his writings on his site as will help you in your return. I am now in the same loving hall. The brothers in that hall are genuine Christians and my wife daughter and I are very well thought off. I just thinking k its ashamed these sincere people are being misled by the GB. But know that Jesus on his return will straighten out all error. Perimeno means to wait BTW. I now keep under the radar and avoid saying things that will jeopardise my position within the hall. I really do hope change will come about before Jesus return, we can only hope. I wish you all the best in your return. Endure patiently and once re instated keep a low profile. You don't need to be controlled by the GB, and can have a loving relationship with Our heavenly father and his son. Best regards TE
