I'm sorry to hear it, Oompah. Even when you know it's the only way to call a truce between you, separating from the one you love hurts.
Now it's time to take stock of yourself and begin healing. Restore your self-respect, with professional assistance if that's appropriate. If you want to accomplish anything else, you need that first.
If you're expecting to do that with a bottle, put it down and look somewhere else. Please don't give up on yourself!