LoriJis

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Posts by LoriJis

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  49

  How did you find the strength to leave?

  by SAHARA in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  to all of you exjws, i'm sure you've been asked this question one way or the other many times and i'm sure the answer is different for many of you, i'd like to know directly from you never having a chance to hear or read many exjw's answers to this.

  knowing that you would be cut off from your family and friends and other consequences for your decision to leave, how did you ever get the strength to do it?

  i mean really, i find it fascinating to know that there are so many of you who were at one time very devout, if not at the very least loyal to one of the most successful mind-contol organizations ever who believed all if not most of what the society taught and still you found the courage to risk everything once you accepted that it isn't what it claims to be.

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  LoriJis

  For me it was my husband who wanted to leave and he told me about it before we got married. I wanted the double life but I knew he wouldnt do it. So we started to fade. We wanted to keep that life to keep contact with our family. But my husband's exwife made that impossible and thats when I saw how badly they can treat people. When his ex wanted to get reinstated she told her elders what we were doing. Then we find out that they had a JC to disfellowship us without contact (full story was posted a few months ago) that blew my mind. So we had no choice but to DA ourselves to avoid disfellowshipping.

  I can tell you its been 3 months and it's horrible. It takes an emotional toll on you. I have my wonderful husband's support but to lose friends that ive had for years and family treat you like you are the devil is horrible. We are starting to make "real unconditinal" friends now but we both do miss our families very much. Like i said we just started so it is very hard for me but ive had helpful people on this site and our new friends that tell us with time.....but yes it is hard.

  LoriJis
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  28

  The Birthday Thread...

  by Snoozy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  don't know if anyone is interested but thought i would start a new birthday thread.

  we all like to hear happy birthday now that we are no longer under the jw spell... snoozy.

  august 1 1942 .

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  LoriJis

  Mine - next month June 12 1979

  hubby (ironhill) march 3 1980
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  12

  I'm moving this Thursday

  by doublelife in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  and i'm so scared.

  but, excited at the same time.

  for those of you who don't know, i'm leaving my husband.

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  LoriJis

  Wish you well..Good luck. I wish you well and am here if you need.
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  20

  My brothers wedding...

  by IronHill in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  ...is today.

  he stated to me that he really wanted me to attend the ceremony, so me and lorijis will be attending the ceremony this evening.

  i dont know if we'll be ready for all of the shunning that will occur, but i want to be there and so does he.. the funny thing is we never received an invitation or anything to let us know about the wedding.

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  LoriJis

  This is Ironhill's wife. You know what gets me even more. We paid for a cake we diidnt even see a pic of. They went and put it under our name and told us how much and where to go. If it weren't for the lady when we went to pay showing us a pic, we would have no idea. And BTW no they didnt save us a piece.

  Also, my husband mentioned the girls getting invted. Tell me this isn't f&*%d up. They invite my husband's ex-wife to the reception who was just reinstared 2 days before. Man that is some crazy sh%^.

  We went to the ceremony and my mother in law looked away when we got there and then at the end we went to congratulate his brother and his new wife and he thanked us for coming - after making us sit in the front with her side of the family like a display - but his new wife turned away when we went to congratulate her. We were trying to be nice.

  It amazes me how people can be. Side note, we got married at the hall before dissassociating and the elder who married us was there and didnt even look at us - and adding insult to injury it was my husband's best friend for over 15 years.

  Yea - i wanna go back to that......HELL NO
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  18

  Who do you consider as a friend ??

  by troubled mind in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  when we were witnesses every other witness was our "friend" ,but more often than not they were just aquantinces involved in the same religion as we were .

  at the time i felt i would have given my life for others in my hall .

  i tried very hard to be a good friend to others by showing personal interest in their lives and offering encouragement or help when they needed it ,but i never really felt a real connection with most .. i always wanted to have a friend and be the type of friend that could just stop by to shoot the breeze at anytime and feel welcome .

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  LoriJis

  i know exactly how you feel. I had a lot of "friends" in the org. I was Ms. Popularity. We hung out and i was a good friend to all of them. I was there when they needed me. And i thought some of them were my real friends because of the length of time 10-20 yrs and the stuff we had gone through. I've always been the type to need friends in my life. But the reality is - like you said - their friendship is based on your status in the org. When my "friends" found out i was disassociated their friendships ended. All of them. I even received hate messages from the ones i thought were real friends. People i wouldve given anything for and at one point did - when i needed them the most they all left. Friendships in the org is conditional and so are family relations - I'm seeing that now.

  A real friend is someone you can be honest with and despite differences in opinions will still see you for YOU. Will be there in the good and bad. Will support you and treat you the way you do them. Finding those friends is VERY HARD but they are out there.

  You will find them and see the difference. I hope to soon have friends again....this time REAL FRIENDS.
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  138

  What year Did you Stop Attending Meetings - How Long were you a JW ?

  by flipper in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i'm trying to compare some statistics and figures on this to share later in the thread to see if more long-time witnesses are exiting- or are newer witnesses exiting after a shorter period of time.

  and - are more people exiting in the last 10 to 15 years than before.

  so your answers would be helpful in looking into this .

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  LoriJis

  I was raised in the organization. I stopped going 6 months ago and dissassociated myself "officially" last week.
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  7

  I have repented of my sins and decided to return to the loving embrace of the JW's!

  by highdose in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hahhahaha!

  gotcha!

  april fools!.

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  LoriJis

  that was a good one
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  17

  Friendship with the opposite sex

  by LoriJis in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have to ask a personal questions.

  do you think it is ok to have a friendship with someone of the opposite sex if you are in a serious relationship or married?

  nothing intimate just friendship.

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  LoriJis

  Thank you for all your comments. I also believe it is ok to be friends with the opposite sex as long as you are open about it with your spouse and know where the boundaries are. Obviously too much personal time alone can lead to something but if the relationship is just friendship...i see no problem. I know people who their best of friends whom they confide in is from the opposite sex and there have been not been any problems. I think as long as ur dont hide and keep it open.

  But ironhill does bring out a good point....what if your spouse or partner has a problem with you having friends of the opposite sex. Do you give in whether you agree with it or not? Or do you continue to maintain these friendships?
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  17

  Friendship with the opposite sex

  by LoriJis in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have to ask a personal questions.

  do you think it is ok to have a friendship with someone of the opposite sex if you are in a serious relationship or married?

  nothing intimate just friendship.

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  LoriJis

  I have to ask a personal questions. Do you think it is ok to have a friendship with someone of the opposite sex if you are in a serious relationship or married? Nothing intimate just friendship. Just need other people's opinion.

  thanks
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  61

  What Do You Value in your Life Now that you Exited the Witnesses ?

  by flipper in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i was talking with a friend of mine on the board yesterday and the discussion gave me the idea for this thread !

  ( thanks friend !

  ) and it seems as we were talking the thought came up that many of us when exiting the mind control of jehovah's witnesses we really come to appreciate the freedom to think how we want and be able to have access to other views which helps us to have a broader scope , or broader world view than just the tunnel vision of the wt society.

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  LoriJis

  I enjoy starting to learn who I am. Also see time in a different aspect. Have time to do things I once enjoyed and could due to service and meetings. Having time to sleep in on weekends, spend qualilty time with my husband and kids. Having time to see what I REALLY want to do. I am enjoying being able to do what i want and not feel guilty. Seeing people for who they are. And yes, I do not miss wearing the long skirts....i dress how i want.