Posts by babygirl30

40

WHY am I the last to know?

by babygirl30 in

jw
friends

about 2 mos ago...my parents decided that because i refused to continue my 'reinstatement' process and quit going to meetings - that they were now going to shun me after having regular contact for 10 mos!

i was upset, but accepted it.

although their method was harsh!

babygirl30

Journey-On

You're right...I have had to calm him down NUMEROUS times this past year over running up on my father and telling him off!!! This last episode was the icing on the cake. But once he calms down and we talk through things, he ends up changing his mind and just letting it GO...for my sake. I love my parents (don't like them though) and my father and I were CLOSE before my being DF'd happened. Even afterwards he still talked to me and was helping me out. All until I stopped coming to mtgs, and the elders would question THEM about my whereabouts and how they hoped to see me soon. At one point a visiting C.O. stayed with my folks - and that was what I think turned things around for the worst...cause right after that is when they made the choice to shun me.

Guess I'm upset because I should have EXPECTED this from my mom ... but not my dad. HE is the independent thinker in our house, HE is the one that likes control and doesn't do well being told what to do or how to act, HE is the one the has non-JW friends he spends weekends golfing with and spending a lot of time with his non-JW family. So it kinda throws me OFF that he is acting this way now.

40

WHY am I the last to know?

by babygirl30 in

jw
friends

about 2 mos ago...my parents decided that because i refused to continue my 'reinstatement' process and quit going to meetings - that they were now going to shun me after having regular contact for 10 mos!

i was upset, but accepted it.

although their method was harsh!

babygirl30

this organization will never understand that their “tough love” position has rarely accomplished anything positive, on the contrary is destructive and negative, replacing love and compassion with hatred and division. I’m certain their god is very proud of them!

You nailed it right there!!! I was just talking to my bf and telling him about the 'news' I learned today and he is MAD...he cannot believe that JWs are this 'crazy' (his words) and that my own parents choose THAT over their child. He used to have an interest in studying, but since my being DF'd and hearing the INSIDE version of what happened to me - he has long since changed his mind and now wants nothign to do with the JWs. He is actually dead set on confronting my dad and telling him about 'himself'....which he has up to this point, refrained from doing. He even said "how in the HELL does your family treating you so cruelly supposed to make you WANT to go back and be a JW?" And he's right!!! That type of treatment has me on the opposite side of the spectrum - not wanting to be bothered with anything 'JW' at all!!!!!

40

WHY am I the last to know?

by babygirl30 in

jw
friends

about 2 mos ago...my parents decided that because i refused to continue my 'reinstatement' process and quit going to meetings - that they were now going to shun me after having regular contact for 10 mos!

i was upset, but accepted it.

although their method was harsh!

babygirl30

I know....I know....I need to 'get used to it'!

It's just that I didn't think they would be THIS cold. If they want to 'shun' me - so be it. That's is there choice! But to keep me out the loop on how they are doing healthwise? I think that is truly disgusting. What kind of person DOES that....

40

WHY am I the last to know?

by babygirl30 in

jw
friends

about 2 mos ago...my parents decided that because i refused to continue my 'reinstatement' process and quit going to meetings - that they were now going to shun me after having regular contact for 10 mos!

i was upset, but accepted it.

although their method was harsh!

babygirl30

About 2 mos ago...my parents decided that because I refused to continue my 'reinstatement' process and quit going to meetings - that they were NOw going to shun me after having regular contact for 10 mos! I was upset, but accepted it. Although their method was harsh! My father demanded his house key back, they gave me my spare back, and told me I was no longer welcome IN their home. I was also told not to call the house unless it was a life or death emergency.

With all that said, I learned through my non-JW aunt that my mother had knee surgery and was in the hospital a month ago!!! It hurt like HELL To have someone ELSE tell me about my own MOTHER and how bad off she was doing...but of course I accepted it and moved it. Figured it wasn't 'life or death' I guess.

NOW today I am talking to my non-JW cousin, and find out through him that my own DAD has a mild heart attack!!! So my cousin is telling me about this stuff and once again Im HURT! I mean, come on......really? THIS is not what Jehovah wanted for families to be like - no way in heezy he is ok with this, no matter what FDS says in the mags/publications. YES I'm DF'd, but I'm still their daughter...am I not at least entitled to know how they are doing healthwise????????????? If they don't want to associate with me - fine. If they don't want me to come by the house or call - fine. But at least give me the decency of telling me when something is NOT right (someone being sick)! I am so angry right now I could scream.

50

How Much of an Impact is Being Made by Young JW' s Leaving the Cult ?

by flipper in

jw
friends

we have read threads where statistics show that 2 out of every 3 people raised as jehovah's witnesses eventually leave once they get in their 20's to 30's and out on their own.

my children and my nieces and nephews are between the ages of 21 to 35 .

out of those 8 people - 4 of them have completely stopped attending meetings .

babygirl30

My parents gave me the ultimatum - get baptized or leave their house! They made it clear that no 'unbaptized grownup would be living in this house'...so at 14 I took the plunge. I did have a pretty strong group of friends in the org, and almost all of them are still 'in'. BUT, 90% of them are in UNHAPPY marriages or divorced, not even 3 of them are MS's or elders, and the rest are still part of the org but inactive.

I think with MY generation (25-35)...technology and college have taken over. The economy is SO bad that it's near impossible to get a job without an education - so they are foregoing pioneering and service for SCHOOL! College has taught us to 'think' and to 'question'...and so this generation is NOT easily snowed (like our parents generation may have been). Even thought things have seemed to lighten up (2 mtg days instead of 3...less hours for pioneers...shorter mtg lengths) - it still hasn't drawn in the numbers of younger people as expected.

9

DF'd Loyalists Who Face Blood Issue

by sd-7 in

jw
friends

anyone know of a case of someone who was df'd, then had an emergency that required a blood transfusion?

let's say they're still loyal to wt and don't want it.

do the elders come to the hospital and stick up for them, or, because they're "no longer one of jehovah's witnesses", they just leave 'em to get pumped full of blood or to die by their own choice, since either way, they can't take judicial action anyway?

babygirl30

I wondered about this myself...I'm still on the fence about the blood issue, and was curious WHAT would happen if I needed it? Would the HLC (hospital liason comm) come support me or 'speak' for me? Would my own parents come? It's so NUTS to put someone in such a position all because they are DF'd...

46

Are YOU Shunned By Jehovah's Witnesses At All?

by minimus in

jw
friends

some witnesses speak to me quite normally/.

others avoid me like the plague.. how are you treated by the witnesses?.

babygirl30

I have a few JWs that continue to speak to me...but the majority of the ones I called 'friends' NO longer have anything to do with me. Their phone calls and emails stopped. My parents have also joined in on the 'shunning' after I stopped going to mtgs at all and informed them it was not gonna happen.

18

Things i hate...

by highdose in

jw
friends

this is another list thread, we can list alll the things that really anoy us, heres mine:.

people who ask me to call them and then turn out not to have a answer phone!.

people who do not have locks on their bathroom door!.

babygirl30

Women that wear those tacky 80s DOOR KNOCKER earrings, have bird claw nails with some ghetto design on them, and wear TOO much makeup - yet work in a professional environment and SWEAR they are 'classy'...

Grown men that dress and talk like 17yr urban KIDS...and wonder WHY I ignore them?!

When some lady grabs her purse EXTRA tight when I come in the elevator - or - when a salesclerk literally follows me around the store ... AS IF I want their cheap ugly purse - let alone - am THAT retarded that I would steal from their store. PLEASE! Being black does NOT equal being criminal!!!

Noisy neighbors that don't CARE about anyone else but themselves and THEIR home...

Kids that tell their parents to 'shut up' or say 'no' when they parent scolds them. UGH!! Slap them already - please.

People that make 'assumptions' about who I am or what kind of person I am BASED off how I look...I don't judge you - don't judge me.

16

Interesting Thought about JW's and People Outside the Org

by Mrs. Witness in

on another thread, aude sapeare said:.

jws make this huge assumption that once you leave the 'protection' of the org, you will go off the deep end and become totally irresponsible, drink, smoke, do drugs and have sex with anyone and anything.. that is what i have been fighting with my husband about for 3 years now.

when he was kicked out of his jw's mom's house when he was 15, that is exactly what he did for about 20 years.

babygirl30

THAT is exactly what my parents had BURNED into my head "If you leave the safety of Jehovah's org - you will succumb to Satan". HUH???? That to me says that they have no faith in the way they raised me. I was raised to have morals, i was raised to be respectful, I was raised to follow the law of the land and take care of myself.

....and thats what I do! Been DF'd 1yr and have never touched a drug in my life!!!! Never smoked either. I don't drink excessively, have never committed any crimes (major or petty), and I am not out running the streets - as my parents LOVE to accuse me of. To them, if you aren't a JW, you're obivously 'runnin the streets' and their last comment to me when I told them I refused to come back to mtgs was "It's obvoius you are SO far into the world!" HAHAHAHAHAHA. Really? I even asked them - WHAT am I doing that is so 'street' or is so 'worldly'? Neither one could answer.

Just remember that the whole JW's vs The World is what we are TAUGHT! The org is supposed to be a bubble the guards us from ALL dangers of the big bad world...and if you leave that bubble, well then, you're no longer protected and ALL BAD is supposed to happen to you. UGH.

32

Living With Regret - what do YOU regret about being in the org?

by babygirl30 in

jw
friends

1. getting baptized at 14 and not knowing what the heck i was 'signing' up for.

2. dating worthless, lazy, no work ethic, selfish 'brothers' who were supposedly approved all because they were baptized - but in the end - were a waste of my time and younger years in dating.. 3. subjecting my bf (back in the day) who was a non-jw to the whole jw experience!

i demanded that he study, i demanded that he change his religion in order to be with me, i made him sit with my parents and listened to them berate him (and myself) while they fed him all their haughty beliefs and requirements in order to date their jw daughter.

babygirl30

Sooner7nc

Ya know...I recently contacted my ex (the 1st worldly one...hahahaha) and sincerely apologized! We worked together for YEARS, and eventually he went on to get married and now has his 2nd child on the way. BUT to this day, he admits that he was in love with me and although he got what he wanted (a wife and kids) that it is NOT with the PERSON he wanted (he wanted to marry me...). Breaks my heart to even THINK about it sometimes because I can still picture us all sitting at the diningroom table, me crying so hard I was gagging to throw up, and him through tears - telling my parents how much he loved me and wanted to be with me and would do whatever it took to do so. UGH!!! Just the flashback hurts...still.

I actually ended up recently sending him an email and sincerely apologizing!!! I had to...this has been myyear of making peace with myself, my past, and the people that really MATTERED in my life - him being 1 of them. Of course today there is nothing romantic between us, I have moved on and am with someone that I love dearly. Like I said, this ex is married and has kids - but I just could not go another day without telling him how sorry I was for putting him through that nonsense of studying, of my parents being so cruel and cold to him, and of me giving him the ultimatum "well if you love me - you would study to be a JW". I will forever regret putting that sweet man through such craziness 10yrs ago.