WHY am I the last to know?

by babygirl30 40 Replies latest jw friends

  • babygirl30
    babygirl30

    About 2 mos ago...my parents decided that because I refused to continue my 'reinstatement' process and quit going to meetings - that they were NOw going to shun me after having regular contact for 10 mos! I was upset, but accepted it. Although their method was harsh! My father demanded his house key back, they gave me my spare back, and told me I was no longer welcome IN their home. I was also told not to call the house unless it was a life or death emergency.

    With all that said, I learned through my non-JW aunt that my mother had knee surgery and was in the hospital a month ago!!! It hurt like HELL To have someone ELSE tell me about my own MOTHER and how bad off she was doing...but of course I accepted it and moved it. Figured it wasn't 'life or death' I guess.

    NOW today I am talking to my non-JW cousin, and find out through him that my own DAD has a mild heart attack!!! So my cousin is telling me about this stuff and once again Im HURT! I mean, come on......really? THIS is not what Jehovah wanted for families to be like - no way in heezy he is ok with this, no matter what FDS says in the mags/publications. YES I'm DF'd, but I'm still their daughter...am I not at least entitled to know how they are doing healthwise????????????? If they don't want to associate with me - fine. If they don't want me to come by the house or call - fine. But at least give me the decency of telling me when something is NOT right (someone being sick)! I am so angry right now I could scream.

  • Albert Einstein
    Albert Einstein

    Sounds incredible babygirl.... If they behave like that, they dont deserve you....

    Albert

  • journey-on
    journey-on

    Get used to it, Babygirl30. It ain't gonna change! (Sorry to be so blunt.)

  • babygirl30
    babygirl30

    I know....I know....I need to 'get used to it'!

    It's just that I didn't think they would be THIS cold. If they want to 'shun' me - so be it. That's is there choice! But to keep me out the loop on how they are doing healthwise? I think that is truly disgusting. What kind of person DOES that....

  • Finally-Free
    Finally-Free

    Sorry you're going through this. All I can suggest is to avoid letting them know it hurts you. If they know how it hurts you it might reinforce their behaviour.

    W

  • Robdar
    Robdar

    The cruelty people are capable of doing always amazes me. I used to feel badly for JWs, believing they were good but misguided people. I now believe most of them are assholes who have chosen an asshole religion to hide behind.

    (((((Babygirl)))))

  • journey-on
    journey-on

    My personal feeling (others may disagree): Don't allow the shunning. Send them "Just Thinking of You" cards occasionally. Tell them you love them and are there for them. Don't preach at them or scold them for holding fast to their doctrine. Call and leave small messages on their voice mail about how you're doing (positive ones only) and always tell them you love them. Send them gifts now and then and try to stay upbeat and focused on your own life's journey.

    I don't know why some JW parents shun their own children and some don't. My mother never did, but she was a very special lady and knew how to think for herself while holding fast to "Jehovah" and realizing the organization wasn't God.

  • Jadeen
    Jadeen

    Just look at the fine example that they're showing the rest of your family that aren't witnesses!

  • carla
    carla

    I'm sorry, damn cult.

  • Robdar
    Robdar
    Don't allow the shunning. Send them "Just Thinking of You" cards occasionally. Tell them you love them and are there for them. Don't preach at them or scold them for holding fast to their doctrine. Call and leave small messages on their voice mail about how you're doing (positive ones only) and always tell them you love them. Send them gifts now and then and try to stay upbeat and focused on your own life's journey

    JO is correct. When I was shunned by my parents, I did the above. The shunning lasted about a year and then I received a letter from my dad. I called him immediately. It was one of the many turning points that led to my parents leaving the org.

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