Posts by babygirl30

11

More Cultural Differences - Strictness Levels & Demographic

by creativhoney in

jw
friends

from what i read on these threads it seems to me that the usa is a lot stricter than the uk, in all aspects of the religion.

- is this a general cultural thing, ie a lot of middle america are still a godfearing bunch, or just a witness thing, maybe a bit of both, and if anyone could provide examples of strictness, lets see how the same situation would be handled in the uk?

and is it easier going in cities than the country counterparts?

babygirl30

I think it does have to do with demographic area....but that counts in the US also. Here on the East Coast (in the Northeast) I am located 2hrs from NY...so not only do a lot of NYers come into our area to live (because it's cheaper then NY but close enough to commute for work) and I swear that being that close to headquarters gave everyone this 'aire' of superiority! We always got regular Bethel speakers, visitors, invitations to the annual mtgs, etc. But the RULES seemed to be upheld a lot closer here also. Having so many JWs in and from NY and then being a quick drive there, it made things rather strict.

Now I have friends on the West Coast (California) and also down South (Miami) and THEY have a completely different attitude about JW rules and all. The way they dress, act, things they say and do...everything seemed more 'lax' to me. Things they did would NOT fly up here in the NEast and would cause major issues in the cong IF they lived in this area of the US. But I'm guessing that since they are further from headquarters, and mix in the climate difference (summer all the time) - I understand how they tended to be more easy going when it came to the rule.

62

Dec. 15th WT - WT Society REALLY Minimizes Earning a Decent Living

by flipper in

jw
friends

it's ridiculous.

i saw this so much in my 44 years in the jehovah's witness cult.

whether it was elders, pioneers, or other people in the cult criticizing others for working too much at their employment or missing some service or meetings due to employment.

babygirl30

I see a trend, especially in young people, to use the pioneer service as an excuse not to seek, productive, full-time work. It is pitiful how this religion feeds into the inherent laziness of some people and gives them a 'righteous' reason to not do anything with their lives.

Oh my God...that is PERFECTLY said!!!! This seems to be the 'thing' to do now...and I have a problem with that. Young people who don't really WANT to pioneer BUT also don't want to work FT, so their parents cut deals with them that if they pioneer they can live at home as long as they want and not have to pay bills (so they can work PT and keep their lil money). That type of action BREEDS laziness...you are so right about that. You end up with these adults, who have ever intention of getting married, but have NO skills or even motivation to support a family because they have been coddled. UGH.

26

Just was given the 'cold shoulder' by my own sister in public...

by babygirl30 in

jw
friends

that fat, sloppy, nasty b*tch is the one person on this earth i cannot stand.

yes...i said it... i cannot stand my own sister!

the girl is bpd (borderline personality disorder) and so she technically is mentally ill - but it makes her a terribly vindictive and hateful person.

babygirl30

they would be my fat cows and my bitches and I'd slap the living daylights out of anyone who ever dared to call them the things you have called your sister.

THAT is the point...if anyone ELSE said that stuff about my sister, I would kick THEIR teeth in!!! Most people now do know that there is 'something' wrong with sis and they avoid her because of it. Because of that - they refrain from saying MEAN things about her or talking about what she has done and said to them in FRONT of me. Even when someone crosses the line and and questions my sis's behavior, I don't even COMMENT - I will nicely reply "Please don't ask me about that...she is who she is". I will not dog her out to mutual acquaintances or even family that complains - as it's childish and cruel.

Before labeling or judging me for what I posted HERE (and only here)...again...you would need to have dealt directly with someone who has BPD and then you would understand where my frustration comes from and why I was so angry with her. With BPD, they repeatedly do and say things to 'saboutage' their intended victim when they feel abandoned or rejected. Now, their #1 reaction to their own feelings of insecurity is RAGE: uncontrollable, vicious, loud tantrum, vindictive - RAGE!!! So, imagine THAT is your sister, and you have been the target of her saboutage and rage for YEARS...so much so that you eventually decide to stop dealing with her at all (for your own health and safety) and she still continues to 'attack' you despite the distance. Things are so unstable with your sis that having a 'close family' relationship with her is impossible - as you never know the next time she will decide to 'attack' you again. Add onto that, the religious beliefs and now mix an already mental person into strict religious codes.....Wouldn't YOU be angry? Who would YOU talk to about it? Wouldn't YOU want a place to vent if/when necessary? Note - I said WAS angry - it's over, I got my feelings out on this board, and I'm fine now. But thank YOU for sharing your opinion. That's what these boards are all about!

26

Just was given the 'cold shoulder' by my own sister in public...

by babygirl30 in

jw
friends

that fat, sloppy, nasty b*tch is the one person on this earth i cannot stand.

yes...i said it... i cannot stand my own sister!

the girl is bpd (borderline personality disorder) and so she technically is mentally ill - but it makes her a terribly vindictive and hateful person.

babygirl30

Ninja - u r funny!! My niece loved me (when I was allowed around her) and would cry when I would leave...I believe because she KNEW that things between her mom and me were not 'ok' and that I probably would NOT see her regularly. NOT of my own choice - but that of her mothers. LONG story, but most BPD's use their children as 'leverage' to get what they want...or else they prevent the kids from being involved with the family until things go THEIR way. Hard to explain unless you've been there.

Lola28 - for the record, never EVER have I ever said such cruel things TO my sister. Not that kind of person to verbally attack someone (even though that is my sisters favorite thing to do to others)...I simply was venting my frustration and anger HERE online. At no time have I or would I - cause a 'scene' in front of my lil niece!! That is childish and would make ME just as bad as my sis. Lil one is innocent in this...her mother has used HER as bargaining piece, and it's sad that in the end, my niece misses out. So there is nothing awful about me at all. As I stated twice in this posting, that I was only venting...and felt comfortable enough to do so HERE on this board, because the reason my sister shuns me is due to the religious aspect. I may not be a JW anymore, but I still believe in "return evil for evil to no one" and continue to live that way. Until dealing with someone who is mentally ill and chooses YOU as their repeated target - then you really cannot label ME as "mean spirited and downright awful"...now can you?

26

Just was given the 'cold shoulder' by my own sister in public...

by babygirl30 in

jw
friends

that fat, sloppy, nasty b*tch is the one person on this earth i cannot stand.

yes...i said it... i cannot stand my own sister!

the girl is bpd (borderline personality disorder) and so she technically is mentally ill - but it makes her a terribly vindictive and hateful person.

babygirl30

Oh....let me apologize for thinking THIS was the 1 place I can VENT freely and not be judged! LOL

Seriously, I said that stuff because I was upset. But I don't consider what I said (or in the context it was said) as vindictive...at no time have I made any attempts to 'get at' my sister, pay her back for all the wrong she's done, tried to expose her secret 'life', nor done ANYTHING at all to her that I would be ashamed of or feel guilty for.

27

"not a good example"

by LoriJis in

i have a concern i guess or just want to vent.

my husband and i - as most of you know - we're married just a little under 2 months and you all know at that point i was still "active" in the org.

we had a few issues with our bridal party - namely the groom - cuz according to them he wasnt a good example and not in good status because they hadn't seen him at the meetings or in service for like 2 months.

babygirl30

When i was setting up arrangements for MY wedding (thank GOD I didn't marry that fool)...there was SO much drama over whom could be IN the stupid thing. My ex had a brother and a cousin that BOTH were 'inactive' and we were told they were not approved...his brother was on public reproof at the time and so it caused issues on the homefront.

YET...a sister in my cong at the time got married 2 mos before me and she had a girl who she was friends with, grew up in the 'org' but never got baptized, was not even a publisher, and had made it CLEAR she has NO interest in becoming a JW. But her butt was RIGHT UP IN the wedding held at the KHall!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How the elders justify 1 instance and not another, I have no idea. But there is no consistency in that type of decision.

26

Just was given the 'cold shoulder' by my own sister in public...

by babygirl30 in

jw
friends

that fat, sloppy, nasty b*tch is the one person on this earth i cannot stand.

yes...i said it... i cannot stand my own sister!

the girl is bpd (borderline personality disorder) and so she technically is mentally ill - but it makes her a terribly vindictive and hateful person.

babygirl30

Ninja

What do mean? Are you saying that in some way I am vindictive towards HER?

26

Just was given the 'cold shoulder' by my own sister in public...

by babygirl30 in

jw
friends

that fat, sloppy, nasty b*tch is the one person on this earth i cannot stand.

yes...i said it... i cannot stand my own sister!

the girl is bpd (borderline personality disorder) and so she technically is mentally ill - but it makes her a terribly vindictive and hateful person.

babygirl30

Teabagging? NAH....this girl needs a swift kick to her TEETH! She is just such a hypocrit - and then has the audacity to turn your back to ME? Your own sister? the one who has BAILED her out numerous times...let her live with me...given her money...watched her daughter when she wanted to PARTY? UGH! I have such disgust towards that girl that it's past hiding or pretending that we're 'friends'. We're NOT!!!

26

Just was given the 'cold shoulder' by my own sister in public...

by babygirl30 in

jw
friends

that fat, sloppy, nasty b*tch is the one person on this earth i cannot stand.

yes...i said it... i cannot stand my own sister!

the girl is bpd (borderline personality disorder) and so she technically is mentally ill - but it makes her a terribly vindictive and hateful person.

babygirl30

That FAT, sloppy, nasty b*tch is the one person on this earth I cannot stand. Yes...i said it... I cannot stand my own sister! The girl is bpd (borderline personality disorder) and so she technically IS mentally ill - but it makes her a terribly vindictive and hateful person. So much so that she has no friends (and never really did), no man wants to even bother with her, and she doesn't have a life outside of sitting around our parents house.

I posted awhile back about how she decided to recently attack me (after 1yr of no contact) by sending me email after email calling me names and DEMANDING that I take photos of she and my niece, old JW friends of mine, and other stuff - OFF my Facebook page (which I had literally created the day before) telling me that I am 'dead' to her and my niece because I'm DF'd and that she wants nothing to do with me and she is NOT my sister anymore. That was about a mos ago. On Sat past, I was out pampering myself and I see my sis (looking terrible as usual) and she sees me. We make eye contact, and she immediately rushes to stand IN FRONT OF MY NIECE so that she cannot see me!!!!!!! Literally, this fat cow of a sister of mine turned her back to me and blocked the view of my sweet innocent niece. Can you believe that? This girl has done soooo much illegal stuff that she is a walking violation, she has skeletons in her closet so deep they KICK each other, and she has been inactive for years....yet she has the NERVE to shun me? The ONLY reason she isn't DF'd too is that she hasn't gone forward (or gotten caught). All the more reason NOt to bother with JWs cause that type of haughtiness is sickening to me.

Just needed to vent. Thanks for reading.

62

Official visit from two local elders one fine Sunday morning

by SnakesInTheTower in

jw
friends

well, it finally happened.

a week ago sunday my fiancee and i were sitting in the living room drinking coffee and watching the morning talking heads when we heard the crunch of tires on the gravel in the driveaway, about 10:30 or so.

we looked at each other with that "are you expecting anyone?

babygirl30

That is the part that kills me...LOL...how they really DON'T stop to think how they make themselves appear to the 'world' by the things they do and say. Now that my boyfriend knows ALL the ins-and-outs about my being DF'd, has heard about all the shunning and cruel way I was treated by the 'shepherds', and has seen first hand how the elders take liberties by just stopping by unannounced - he has NO desire to have anything to do with JWs ever!!! Crazy part is that he talks about JWs more then I do...and when I asked him the other day WHY he keeps bringing them up and getting me 'started' in on venting about my situation with them, he said "because I don't want you to forget how they are...I don't want you to go back to that." REALLy put things in perspective.