Well, it finally happened. A week ago Sunday my fiancee and I were sitting in the living room drinking coffee and watching the morning talking heads when we heard the crunch of tires on the gravel in the driveaway, about 10:30 or so. We looked at each other with that "are you expecting anyone?" look. Of course, neither of us was. Really, I had a feeling I knew. I peeked out the window and I did not recognize the car. As the men in suits got out, I recognized both of them immediately. One was the long time PO of the congregation I left back in 1991 and whose territory I still live in. The other was an elder who had been in that congregation but moved away for decades but came back to the area a few years ago....
...I get it...they send the two old goats that they know I won't rip a new one. My fiancee is scrambling because she is in nothing but a night gown and an open robe. I have only my tshirt and flannel jammies with my robe. I quickly tie my robe closed and answer the door. My fiancee is scrambling behind me to tie her robe closed and is looking to me for direction...does she want me to go into the bedroom or stay?
Meanwhile, I have stepped outside to meet the PO and his sidekick..both of these guys are around 80 but look like late 60s/early 70s...so no elders with dementia visting...these are long time, they know what the hell they are doing, elders. I greet both with a handshake. During the pleasantries with the PO, I notice the other elder looking at my jack-o-lantern (my bad attempt at a crow sitting on a branch, but I messed up the template). They have parked behind my fiancees car with the bumper sticker that says "MY CHILD WAS STUDENT OF THE WEEK AT **** ELEMENTARY", and they know I don't have kids. You can see the wheels turning.
So finally, the PO gets to the point. "Well Rich, we were just out making some calls on some we haven't seen in awhile. We already stopped by J**** C***** (a early 20s kid that I dont even know if he got baptized or not) and had a nice talk with him. We just wanted to see how you were." I give him my stock answer...mostly work. At this point, my 8 year old soon to be stepson comes tearing through the house in his spiderman jammies. If I intended to even attempt to hide the fact that I had them here, and I certainly was not going to hide my family, well, the 8-year old took care of any possible doubt....lol.
I introduced the 8-year-old as my soon to be step son and then leaned back inside and motioned my fiancee to come to the door and let me introduce her. She shook their hands and was pleasant (but afterwards she told me she wanted to bite their heads off and tell them where to go...I am soooo proud of her for biting her tongue). She and her son went back inside. The PO says: "someone told us they seen in the local paper that you had applied for a marriage license." What? Uh...hello.... the paper only publishes notice of marriage license when it is issued....
...will finish the story later... leave ya hanging...
snakes (Rich )