dearone
My mother used to tell me this saying that burned in my HEAD and to this day still haunts me - she would say "Satan will give you your hearts desire for 1 act of worship". Now she would say that because I would always tell her that I would NEVER leave Jehovah's org, and that the only way that would happen is if I snagged an 'athlete' and was set for life! -hahahahaha.
I've never had an issue meeting JW brothers, but they were NEVER really what I wanted...they were either boring, or mamma's boys, or way too straight laced for me, or just NOT my type physically. In amongst my 'career' as a JW I have dated 2 non-JWS, and to this day I regret how I treated them and how things ended. Neither one of these men EVER hurt me - neither one ever disrespected me, never treated me as a 'lesser vessel', never made me feel as if I was spiritually weak for being independent. One of those guys I fell madly in love with...and thankfully he and I are together today (reunited AFTER I was DF'd but remained friends throughout my years of being a JW).
My point is that you cannot change the past - you did what you did (letting the non JW go) because THAT was what you believed back then! That's what you were supposed to do...so you shouldn't be upset over that. I think it's really cruel that we have it burned in our heads that if we just PRAY and ask Jehovah for a mate, he will bless us with one - because I've seen sisters get married without effort while others prayed and traveled all over the place looking for Mr Right in the org. So you're telling me that Jehovah chose HER over YOU to get a mate? Do you really believe that?