Same here! My dad's worldly family is APPALLED that he treats me like this...and they have spoken UP about it too. Each one of them has called me directly and expressed THEIR love and support no matter what - which i KNOW ticks my dad off, but I don't care. They will ask him why he shuns me (they were raised in the 'chuuch' - hahahah) and his response is always "You need to ask HER"! I mean, what kind of PUNK is he? If you can treat me so coldly and I'm your own child, then you ought to be man enough to be HONEST and tell people why you are?! Funny enough, all my xtd famiily makes it loud and clear that they NEVER liked JWs and always felt sorry for us kids being raised in the religion...
babygirl30
JoinedPosts by babygirl30
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26
I don't owe ANYONE an explaination...
by babygirl30 in...about why i do not want to come back (get reinstated), but i find myself defending my decision!.
i say this because an old friend of mine sent me a text late last night, asking me if i'm 'back so we can talk'?!
let me give you a lil background story, this girl is developmentally challenged, 36yrs old, can't hold down a job, drive, nor live alone.
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26
I don't owe ANYONE an explaination...
by babygirl30 in...about why i do not want to come back (get reinstated), but i find myself defending my decision!.
i say this because an old friend of mine sent me a text late last night, asking me if i'm 'back so we can talk'?!
let me give you a lil background story, this girl is developmentally challenged, 36yrs old, can't hold down a job, drive, nor live alone.
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babygirl30
JW trying to guilt/bully me back.
My parents do that in SPURTS! After my surgery, my mom was UP my butt about coming back...and she used the whole 'guilt' trip of claiming by my dating a non-JW and living with him, I was giving HIM a bad Witness. Like you, SHE (yes - my own mother) had to be told off! Told her point blank "The only ones giving a bad Witness are the Witnesses themselves! People know I was abused...people know I was kicked out the religion...they know I don't lie, cheat, steal, sleep around, get drunk or do drugs...people know I have reached out to you (mom and dad) and you have chosen to harden YOUR hearts towards ME. So really, YOU are giving the bad Witness - not me." She really had NOTHING to say after that.
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I don't owe ANYONE an explaination...
by babygirl30 in...about why i do not want to come back (get reinstated), but i find myself defending my decision!.
i say this because an old friend of mine sent me a text late last night, asking me if i'm 'back so we can talk'?!
let me give you a lil background story, this girl is developmentally challenged, 36yrs old, can't hold down a job, drive, nor live alone.
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babygirl30
I honestly believe she was asking out of purse concern...remember, the girl doesn't really LIVE an independent life - she is 'challenged' and lives with her parents at the age of 36! I had let her come visit me (we live 2hrs apart) and stay for a wknd, and she doesn't REALLY have a lot of friends. Guess I feel sorry for her cause I 'get it' - I mean, I understand why she would feel bad.
People need to understand that my NOT being a JW is my choice!! I CHOOSE not to return, I CHOOSE not to give the power of my future over into the hands of 3 elders who really don't know me. I should start asking others 'why do YOU stay a JW?'
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I don't owe ANYONE an explaination...
by babygirl30 in...about why i do not want to come back (get reinstated), but i find myself defending my decision!.
i say this because an old friend of mine sent me a text late last night, asking me if i'm 'back so we can talk'?!
let me give you a lil background story, this girl is developmentally challenged, 36yrs old, can't hold down a job, drive, nor live alone.
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babygirl30
Heartbreaker My reason is...cause I WANT TO! LOL
poppers I honestly believe that (quote) though...JWs have this sick sense of responsibility to EVERYONE and EVERYTHING. No wonder they are all driven nuts!! They live for others, not taking into regard their own feelings.
Robert7 the frustration is CRAZY!! It's annoying to even try to talk about it to a JW...
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JW views on Mental Health & Counseling
by Confuzzled ini am considering getting couples counseling for the jw boyfriend and i. he's open to it.
he got help himself for an issue recently, but it was in the short term, and it went well for him.
i want to know if we started going regularly, and his mentor got wind of it, what are the jw views on mental health help?
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babygirl30
I know at least one JW who went to counseling but held back on information so that they didn't give God's organization a bad name. I suspect that this pretty much puts a damper on the effectiveness of the whole counseling session.
BINGO! That is exactly what my parents TOLD me to do...I was to NEVER mention Jehovah's org because it brings reproach and makes God look BAD! In reality, it's all about 'secret keeping' and it's wrong. Open and Honest communication is the key to healing and solving problems.
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JW views on Mental Health & Counseling
by Confuzzled ini am considering getting couples counseling for the jw boyfriend and i. he's open to it.
he got help himself for an issue recently, but it was in the short term, and it went well for him.
i want to know if we started going regularly, and his mentor got wind of it, what are the jw views on mental health help?
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babygirl30
I saw a psychologist after being abused by a JW...and I was told by my parents to keep it quiet and by the elders, I was chastised - telling me that instead of therapy, I needed to place FULL reliance in Jehovah to get myself together?! When I spoke to them mos later, I mentioned therapy, and they AGAIN threw it in my face....
It's better to just GET the help you need and DO what you gotta do.
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I don't owe ANYONE an explaination...
by babygirl30 in...about why i do not want to come back (get reinstated), but i find myself defending my decision!.
i say this because an old friend of mine sent me a text late last night, asking me if i'm 'back so we can talk'?!
let me give you a lil background story, this girl is developmentally challenged, 36yrs old, can't hold down a job, drive, nor live alone.
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babygirl30
...about WHY I do not want to come back (get reinstated), but I find myself DEFENDING my decision!
I say this because an old friend of mine sent me a text late last night, asking me if I'm 'back so we can talk'?! Let me give you a lil background story, this girl is developmentally challenged, 36yrs old, can't hold down a job, drive, nor live alone. She functions quite normally but her mentality is probably that of a 17yr old. Met her at my gram's cong years ago, befriended her, and have kept in touch as I got older. So, this girl really is a sweetie, but is in a family of BACKWARDS JWs...they are all really backwards.
Well - I responded to her that I decided NOT to return and am HAPPY with my life! She surprisingly started a conversation with me...she asked me WHY I don't want to come back? All I said was "I went through a lot 2yrs ago and needed support - not to be DF'd at my lowest. All of that made me realize that my relationship with Jehovah is btwn he and I, NOT a religion." Now this girl again has the mind of a 17yr old - so I didn't want to get TOO deep into it or mess with HER thinin (as she still lives with her parents). About 2hrs later, she texts me again, telling me that she misses me and wishes I had talked to her, and that she wished I had never 'gone away'. HAHAHAHA! I told her I didn't GO away - I was forced out and there IS a difference!!
Her final comment was: "ur words will help me examine myself 2 c where I am spiritually. thank u." Not sure what THAT means...but I HATE feeling like I owe a reason for not wanting to come back? Like I need to be responsible for everyone ELSES feelings about MY choice?! UGH!
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New CO talk: Be loyal to Org. even if you get weird instructions or can prove them wrong doctrinally!
by sir82 intheme was something about "loyalty to jehovah's visible organization".. i have neither the time nor inclination to summarize the whole thing, but a few points stood out:.
even if it causes you personal hardship.
example: joshua & caleb returned from spy trip to promised land with good report, but were "outvoted" by the other 10 spies.
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babygirl30
Soldier77 If they come right out and say, "Be loyal to visible org. even if you know they are wrong" I'm done, no slow fade, just stand up and walk out the front door.
REALLY???? THAT take cojones! If I saw that - someone just get up and storm out the Khall - my eyes would bug out and I would seriously be nosey enough to follow you and ask you WHY! That is TOO cool!!!
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New CO talk: Be loyal to Org. even if you get weird instructions or can prove them wrong doctrinally!
by sir82 intheme was something about "loyalty to jehovah's visible organization".. i have neither the time nor inclination to summarize the whole thing, but a few points stood out:.
even if it causes you personal hardship.
example: joshua & caleb returned from spy trip to promised land with good report, but were "outvoted" by the other 10 spies.
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babygirl30
WOW! REading that just flashed all these different 'rules' in my mind that JWs are expected to live by and NEVER question - and it makes me so happy I'm OUT of that environment now.
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Talked to an OLD friend...he has NO desire to 'return' to the fold either!!
by babygirl30 inthere was a family in my cong that i was really close to...dad's an elder, mom's a pioneer, they had a son and daughter.
about 5yrs ago though, when i was still in my jw trance - the son married a non-jw and faded while the daughter was df'd.
due to my judgemental training, i 'shunned' both of them out of duty (not because i didn't care about them).
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babygirl30
You are so right about how social networks DO take the 'sting' out of being DF'd. Took me a while after my announcement to realize my WORTH - cause I really believed God hated me and I wasn't worth ish....but finding an old friend that feels the SAME WAY and to know that he understand how I feel - well that makes my freedom of choice NOT to go back - worth it even more!!!
I hope your 'meet up' works out!! Sounds promising.
When I was in the hospital, some JW friends of mine that I have stayed in contact with despite my being DF'd - came to visit me. My parents were 'disgusted' by this, but held in their disdain until I was a lil better. At that point, my mom came to me and nicely told me that I needed to tell the JWs that I talk to NOT to bother with me...cause it shows disrespect by associating with those who I shouldn't be! HAHAHA! I flat out told her that I am not a JW, so I no longer HAVE to abide by THEIR rules - I can talk to whomever I choose.